Olds: Older, Louder, Dumber, Slower; One Leak, Dead Starter
Oldsmobile: Oh, Look, Dammit Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything; Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment; Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Infuriatingly Late Everyday; Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel
Pinto: Put In Nickel To Operate; Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook; Put In New Transmission Often; Performance Is Not the Object; Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object; Pushed In Neutral Too Often