I will REMOVE the ****ing toilet seat if you don't shut up

[redass]

to the guys who sit down to pee, I have a couple of questions...

do you have children, and / or a son? do you feel comfortable raising a boy who sits to pee?

do you have friends who also sit to pee?

do you have friends who don't sit to pee, that you share this information with?

really, you sit down to pee?

 

[mike c]

i did talk to the wife about the seat thing, just a debate that did not matter to us.
my arguments were:
1) why are YOU more important than me to leave the seat up to benefit you?
2) the probability of ME or YOU peeing is probably the same, so the seat up or down should bother BOTH of US the same number of times

 

[billy p]

to the guys who sit down to pee, I have a couple of questions...

do you have children, and / or a son? do you feel comfortable raising a boy who sits to pee?

do you have friends who also sit to pee?

do you have friends who don't sit to pee, that you share this information with?

really, you sit down to pee?

yes, one, why does this mean he'll be gay...

maybe, never thought to ask them...

yes, this thread is proof enough...

yes, again why would you care...

 

[griffinconst]

Get her one of these – problem solved

How would giving her a beerbong solve the toilet seat problem?
After a couple of those, she'll be hooked to the toilet, one end or the other.

 

[Nomo]

I'm amused this thread has gone on this long.

Me, I go in, lift the seat, pee, wipe off any misfires, and put the seat back down because it simply looks better that way.

Now, if I could get my 15 year old to at least lift the seat.... that would be a day maker.

 

[MatthewB.]

Along those lines I've often wondered about the WE channel ('women's entertainment' I think). Why is that all of the movies or investigative journalism type shows on that channel (which is pretty much all that is on that channel) are all about rape and murder and abuse of women?

Is that really entertaining for women?

I have an asnwer on this one. Women don't watch for entertainment reasons, they watch to take notes. Seriously, where men will act out in an instant, women are methodical and will plan, organize, and eventually get her revenge. The old Kilingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold" yeah a women had to come up with that one.

Here you go ask 100 women if what Lorena Bobbett did was right. 100 out of 100 will not only tell you what Lorena did was justified, but they'll tell you how her tossing John Wayne's "member" out the window was the wrong thing to do and they'll give you 100 different scenarios that would make a hardened criminal cringe while covering the "boys". I have heard things like, garbage disposal, blender on "puree" and Vince's "Slap-Chop" to a hungry pitbull and steak sauce.

So a women will watch WE and Dateline Investigates not for amusement but to take notes and see where the victim went wrong in planning out their "revenge" Trust me when my GF watches "CSI" you can almost see the wheels moving in her mind and you get the occasional "Hmmmmm" ever so softly leave her lips. (yes I sleep with one eye opened)

My GF asked me once if the house was on fire, who would I rescue first the dogs or her, and when I told her the dogs, I got to listen to her beyatch for the next half hour about what an insensative pig I am. My response, "Honey we live in a one story house, I would hope your smart enough to crawl out a window, where a dog isnt smart enough to open a window."

I swear Satan tempted Eve on purpose (probably out out of respect). Now in my house I have a deal with my GF, if she promises never to bring up the tiolet lid thing, I promise not to pi$$ on the seat. Has worked out so far.

 

[cfrizz]

I have an asnwer on this one. Women don't watch for entertainment reasons, they watch to take notes. Seriously, where men will act out in an instant, women are methodical and will plan, organize, and eventually get her revenge. The old Kilingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold" yeah a women had to come up with that one.

Here you go ask 100 women if what Lorena Bobbett did was right. 100 out of 100 will not only tell you what Lorena did was justified, but they'll tell you how her tossing John Wayne's "member" out the window was the wrong thing to do and they'll give you 100 different scenarios that would make a hardened criminal cringe while covering the "boys". I have heard things like, garbage disposal, blender on "puree" and Vince's "Slap-Chop" to a hungry pitbull and steak sauce.

So a women will watch WE and Dateline Investigates not for amusement but to take notes and see where the victim went wrong in planning out their "revenge" Trust me when my GF watches "CSI" you can almost see the wheels moving in her mind and you get the occasional "Hmmmmm" ever so softly leave her lips. (yes I sleep with one eye opened)

My GF asked me once if the house was on fire, who would I rescue first the dogs or her, and when I told her the dogs, I got to listen to her beyatch for the next half hour about what an insensative pig I am. My response, "Honey we live in a one story house, I would hope your smart enough to crawl out a window, where a dog isnt smart enough to open a window."

I swear Satan tempted Eve on purpose (probably out out of respect). Now in my house I have a deal with my GF, if she promises never to bring up the tiolet lid thing, I promise not to pi$$ on the seat. Has worked out so far.

WAAAAAAAAA!!!! That is just SO wrong! LOL!

I don't watch any of that crap! Life is hard enough without watching some depressing crap to make life even harder.

 

[MatthewB.]

Couldn't agree more.

 

[newaudiofile]

I have an asnwer on this one. Women don't watch for entertainment reasons, they watch to take notes. Seriously, where men will act out in an instant, women are methodical and will plan, organize, and eventually get her revenge. The old Kilingon proverb "Revenge is a dish best served cold" yeah a women had to come up with that one.

Here you go ask 100 women if what Lorena Bobbett did was right. 100 out of 100 will not only tell you what Lorena did was justified, but they'll tell you how her tossing John Wayne's "member" out the window was the wrong thing to do and they'll give you 100 different scenarios that would make a hardened criminal cringe while covering the "boys". I have heard things like, garbage disposal, blender on "puree" and Vince's "Slap-Chop" to a hungry pitbull and steak sauce.

So a women will watch WE and Dateline Investigates not for amusement but to take notes and see where the victim went wrong in planning out their "revenge" Trust me when my GF watches "CSI" you can almost see the wheels moving in her mind and you get the occasional "Hmmmmm" ever so softly leave her lips. (yes I sleep with one eye opened)

My GF asked me once if the house was on fire, who would I rescue first the dogs or her, and when I told her the dogs, I got to listen to her beyatch for the next half hour about what an insensative pig I am. My response, "Honey we live in a one story house, I would hope your smart enough to crawl out a window, where a dog isnt smart enough to open a window."

I swear Satan tempted Eve on purpose (probably out out of respect). Now in my house I have a deal with my GF, if she promises never to bring up the tiolet lid thing, I promise not to pi$$ on the seat. Has worked out so far.

That was too funny with the CSI thing, and the hmmmm.....

How many times have you jumped up from sleep thinking she is ready to execute her plan only to realise she was just going to kiss you.........

If she was a woman who really loves her dogs rescuing her could also have been the wrong action.

I really wonder why women ask questions like that.

 

[Alex2507]

During 'Wife Time' I always root for the bad guy no matter what he is doing. "She wants it", "she had it coming", etc. It makes the show unwatchable which is the point. I always get treated like a jerk after the guy on Wife Time cheats on, beats up, rapes and kills the love of his life.

Hey Billy P!,

Does your boyfriend sit down to pee too?

 

[billy p]

During 'Wife Time' I always root for the bad guy no matter what he is doing. "She wants it", "she had it coming", etc. It makes the show unwatchable which is the point. I always get treated like a jerk after the guy on Wife Time cheats on, beats up, rapes and kills the love of his life.

Hey Billy P!,

Does your boyfriend sit down to pee too?

What do you think...lover...

 

[Rickster71]

i did talk to the wife about the seat thing, just a debate that did not matter to us.
my arguments were:
1) why are YOU more important than me to leave the seat up to benefit you?

Be careful Mike.
You'll have plenty of time to ponder who's more important while you're sleeping on the couch.

 

[Rickster71]

Hey Billy P!,

Does your boyfriend sit down to pee too?

What do you think...lover...

Don't let him bother you Billy; just flush his flip-flops.

 

[Alex2507]

What do you think...lover...

Ewww ... you're a sick one.

 

[billy p]

Ewww ... you're a sick one.

That was bad....so I guess I'll need to go home and remove the ****ing toilet seat to remain in good standing with you guys...lol.

Bill...

 

[ParadigmDawg]

Good grief...this is simple so listen up...

The toilet seat should be glued down, practice your aim so you never hit it. Start outside using a large garabage can. Slowly decrease the size of the can until you can hit a beer bottle from 8ft without making a mess.

The lid can either be kept up or down, it doesn't matter unless you have an animal that likes to drink from it and you don't allow that.

This is the most important part. Only #1 should be done at your house. #2 should only be done at work. I mean, come on...do you live in a barn?????????

 

[Alex2507]

#2 should only be done at work.

As Carlos use to say, "Brong, complete fooking brong!" You don't want to be going poopsies in a port-o-john. That green water splash following an assplosion is no picnic. A shower after one of my gorilla dumps is generally a good idea anyway. That way I don't smell like sh!t for the rest of the day.

 

[lsiberian]

he'll be gay...

I think he's taken way too much interest in this to claim you're gay.

 

[MatthewB.]

That was too funny with the CSI thing, and the hmmmm.....

How many times have you jumped up from sleep thinking she is ready to execute her plan only to realise she was just going to kiss you.........

If she was a woman who really loves her dogs rescuing her could also have been the wrong action.

I really wonder why women ask questions like that.

My GF (and in fact every female I have ever known) have asked stupid questions like, "do these jeans make my arse look fat?" I'm thinking, if you have to ask then yes!!!!

Another favorite is when a Victorias Secret commercial comes on and my GF will say, "Ugh fake boobs, tons of make-up do you even think she's beautiful?" Um YESSSS, I would be on that like an ethiopian on a Big Mac if given the chance. Seriosuly day after day it's one stupid question after another (from work and at home) I roll my eyes so much, I'm surprised their not permanantly locked upwards. My favorites are the questions so stupid, you can't do anything but smack your forehead (i.e.) my GF and I were watching TV and they showed a picture of Earth and my GF with a straight face asks, "Is that Earth?" I literally looked at her with this, are you frigging kidding me expression on my face.

and it's a good thing my GF and I have such a good relationship (we tease each other endlessly), that at times, just when I'm falling asleep, she'll turn to me and say, "you know honey, your such a heavy sleeper that I could kill you and I doubt you'd even notice. Sleep tight honey" (notice she says this just as I'm falling asleep) What's worse is my family says they'll give her an alibi.

 

[cfrizz]

The serious answer to your questions MatthewB is exactly BECAUSE of all those ads on TV, & in magazines, with models the size of toothpicks with huge boobs, etc are for the most part the very opposite of what most women look like. Looks/sizes that most never had, never will have, but are worrying about looking like those models all because of what is constantly shoved in their faces via the media & men & other women around them!

Needless to say it tends to make perfectly fine albiet ordinary women feel very insecure about themselves.

When was the last time you told your GF she looked beautiful? When was the last time you discouraged her from going on a diet, because she looks just fine as she is & you love her because of WHO she is & not what she looks like?

She has enough to combat outside of your relationship about her looks without YOU adding to the problem.

We all men & women have fantasies about hot looking partners. But learn to separate fantasy from reality & accept who you are with if everything else about them makes you happy & content! Because even if you have a model right now, in a decade or 2 she/he will have fallen prey to time & gravity right along with you!