Single again... !!!

[Warpdrv]

Oh the Drama.... Figured I would start an alternative to lsiberian getting hitched (congrats btw)....

Oh where do I begin....

Been dating this one for almost 2 years -whom is fresh out of divorce when we start, and over the period of time - I made quite clear that I'm in no hurry to get married, but still feels the need to continually bring up the topic and push the issue - tiresome... to me that is a huge turn off... If I want to marry someone I will ask - not be forced into it... I just don't think that is the natural flow of how a relationship should go. I don't need a woman telling me "YOU NEED TO PUT A RING ON MY FINGER !!" I broke up with her 2 times already about this type of stuff, but the controlling pushy pattern continues. Not sure after a fresh divorce why she's in such a hurry to get married again...

Disclaimer - I am a flirt and like to socialize - but in the end I am going home with the woman I am with, its pretty straight forward here... I work 60-70 hours a week, sometimes more, so there is limited time to myself and I am with this woman at least 5 days a week.... so there isn't much question where I am all the time.... Apparently she still seems to feel that I am messing around...

Long story short - We are at the bar the other night after 2 drinks at a B-Day party, one of the waitress/bar tenders - very cute was outside with me talking for a few minutes while the woman hits the restroom. (She has made it very clear she doesn't like this girl) We come back inside and the X woman decides to call her a Whore to her face, and then after continues the verbal assault threatening her to stay away or else she'll take action...

It was at this point I have had enough !!! I slammed my cocktail and said lets go... Got back to the house and didn't argue with her - asked her to leave, ignored her calls for a few days, told her it was over...

I am a very fun and loving person who will give everything, including my soul when I am comfortable, but I can't stand the drama, and once it starts I have a hard time feeling it will get any better after that...

Generally overall she is a very fun girl and very pleasant, great cook and did lots of nice things for me to her credit - but it seems that for some people love - invokes jealousy, which turns to anger and aggressive behavior.... not very pleasant to deal with...

Rant over.... thanks for listening...

 

[STRONGBADF1]

I don't know whether to say that I'm sorry to hear that or tell you you're better off...I guess it's both.

Jealousy is ugly and I couldn't deal with it no matter how nice the woman is.

Now go play the field but you need to post pics so us married guys can live vicariously...

 

[Nemo128]

You're better off. Don't compromise yourself for someone else. You are who you are, the person you're going to love will love you as you are and understand you as you are.

 

[highfigh]

Oh the Drama.... Figured I would start an alternative to lsiberian getting hitched (congrats btw)....

Oh where do I begin....

Been dating this one for almost 2 years -whom is fresh out of divorce when we start, and over the period of time - I made quite clear that I'm in no hurry to get married, but still feels the need to continually bring up the topic and push the issue - tiresome... to me that is a huge turn off... If I want to marry someone I will ask - not be forced into it... I just don't think that is the natural flow of how a relationship should go. I don't need a woman telling me "YOU NEED TO PUT A RING ON MY FINGER !!" I broke up with her 2 times already about this type of stuff, but the controlling pushy pattern continues. Not sure after a fresh divorce why she's in such a hurry to get married again...

Disclaimer - I am a flirt and like to socialize - but in the end I am going home with the woman I am with, its pretty straight forward here... I work 60-70 hours a week, sometimes more, so there is limited time to myself and I am with this woman at least 5 days a week.... so there isn't much question where I am all the time.... Apparently she still seems to feel that I am messing around...

Long story short - We are at the bar the other night after 2 drinks at a B-Day party, one of the waitress/bar tenders - very cute was outside with me talking for a few minutes while the woman hits the restroom. (She has made it very clear she doesn't like this girl) We come back inside and the X woman decides to call her a Whore to her face, and then after continues the verbal assault threatening her to stay away or else she'll take action...

It was at this point I have had enough !!! I slammed my cocktail and said lets go... Got back to the house and didn't argue with her - asked her to leave, ignored her calls for a few days, told her it was over...

I am a very fun and loving person who will give everything, including my soul when I am comfortable, but I can't stand the drama, and once it starts I have a hard time feeling it will get any better after that...

Generally overall she is a very fun girl and very pleasant, great cook and did lots of nice things for me to her credit - but it seems that for some people love - invokes jealousy, which turns to anger and aggressive behavior.... not very pleasant to deal with...

Rant over.... thanks for listening...

Sorry it had to end but needy people are a PITA. Their insecurities rear their ugly heads at the worst times and when it happens in public, it's time to stick a fork in it. She may have heard you define yourself but as some women say, "She never met a man she couldn't change" and some women refuse to accept it when someone won't change for them.

Did you ever see the Onion article entitled "Woman changes man into someone she's no longer interested in"?

I have always thought that many aspects of love are purely selfish. "I want them forever" doesn't exactly sound giving, to me.

After the divorce, she may have gone after the first guy who gave her the attention that may have been lacking but it may have been an over-reaction, too. She may have been clingy before her marriage, too. Some people just need to be with someone and it really doesn't matter who. I know a guy who constantly biatches about his wife and says she's crazy. OTOH, he has absolutely no idea that he doesn't think about what he says or does and that this is the reason she, and others, don't like being around him. He's almost completely un-self aware. He lived at home until just before he got married at 27, saying that his mom wouldn't be able to make it on her own after the husband/dad died. I tossed that one out there when he was going on and on about the wife and after a while, he told me that he doesn't like to be alone.

She may be similar in this need to be around someone, anyone.

 

[markw]

Being single is far, far better than being married to the wrong woman.

I was married to a nineteen year old girl when I was twenty-six. Even though the relationship was strained after the first few years, we got used to being with each other. After a while it got really weird and we parted after twenty years.

It took a few years to get used to being single again, but I got to enjoy it, and was not afraid of being alone and, in fact, was quite comfortable with it.

Then, I met the right woman and we've been married for nine years so far and I wouldn't change that for the world.

It all depends on finding the "right" person at the "right" time to share your life with.

 

[j_garcia]

You stuck to your guns and if that is the way you feel about it, then I think you did the right thing. Better to be sure than sorry. Nobody and no relationship is perfect, but there are definitely things that one can live with because you love the other person; things that you let slide, and there are things that just don't fly.

I married a chick because I knocked her up. We were already having problems prior to that and were actually not even together when I found out she was pregnant. Against my own judgement and my family's recommendations, I married her and over time the same issues that we had already been having previously were back and eventually I divorced her. I have been paying for it ever since.

 

[Warpdrv]

Yeah, don't get me wrong here - I have been pretty much single all my life - never got married, and most of you guys know that I have raised my son alone for the last 15 years, so taking care of him was my priority - dating came 3rd after my business.... I have no issues of being alone - plenty of things to keep me occupied... I would rather be happy and single then together and miserable if ya know what I mean....

Now that my son is 18 and just left the house to be out on his own, things are different. I guess I just take my time and see how things go..... Lots of girls out there, but I had 18 years of DRAMA with my son, don't need that with a GF... I am looking for a more simple relaxing laid back lifestyle...

 

[oppman99]

Sounds like you have things pretty well figured out Warp. From someone who has been pressured by the "Put a ring on my finger" conversation, I think you made the right choice. Good call on being happy and single rather than married and miserable. Remember the old line....Women are like busses. Another one will come along in 15 minutes.

 

[CraigV]

“One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness, bind them”

Dude, you made the right call. Now it’s time to go back & make nice with the waitress.

 

[Warpdrv]

Yeah - it is what it is.... sad to be done with the relationship, she was a nice girl but if the drama is there even before the marriage, then the cart is not far from the horse IMO... She certainly has never been alone - married for 10 years, and straight into a relationship with me... Miss lonely hearts - never been alone, she should take some time to learn about herself - one can't make someone else happy until they are happy with themselves first... I think she has alot of anger issues to deal with, no love for her father after he walked out on her as a child....

My father always said....

Why make one woman miserable, when you can make 10 very happy !!!

I always loved that line....

 

[markw]

Remember the old line....Women are like busses. Another one will come along in 15 minutes.

And some are like trains. ..always willing to give some bum a ride.

 

[Warpdrv]

“One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness, bind them”

Dude, you made the right call. Now it’s time to go back & make nice with the waitress.

Hehehhehe I know she has the hots for me (reason #1 the X found out and threw a fit towards her), but she has a BF and 2 young kids - which is really all we talk about - both of us single parents n all, which Im not all that interested in...

I did apologize to her (waitress) afterward though - that was pretty harsh... She wasn't concerned with the behavior and is pretty tough skinned - her old man was Marine...

 

[Warpdrv]

And some are like trains. ..always willing to give some bum a ride.

And some women are just plain TRAIN WRECKS !!!! Everyone dies that rides !!

 

[mazersteven]

Oh the Drama.... Figured I would start an alternative to lsiberian getting hitched (congrats btw)....

Oh where do I begin....

Been dating this one for almost 2 years -whom is fresh out of divorce when we start, and over the period of time - I made quite clear that I'm in no hurry to get married, but still feels the need to continually bring up the topic and push the issue - tiresome... to me that is a huge turn off... If I want to marry someone I will ask - not be forced into it... I just don't think that is the natural flow of how a relationship should go. I don't need a woman telling me "YOU NEED TO PUT A RING ON MY FINGER !!" I broke up with her 2 times already about this type of stuff, but the controlling pushy pattern continues. Not sure after a fresh divorce why she's in such a hurry to get married again...

Disclaimer - I am a flirt and like to socialize - but in the end I am going home with the woman I am with, its pretty straight forward here... I work 60-70 hours a week, sometimes more, so there is limited time to myself and I am with this woman at least 5 days a week.... so there isn't much question where I am all the time.... Apparently she still seems to feel that I am messing around...

Long story short - We are at the bar the other night after 2 drinks at a B-Day party, one of the waitress/bar tenders - very cute was outside with me talking for a few minutes while the woman hits the restroom. (She has made it very clear she doesn't like this girl) We come back inside and the X woman decides to call her a Whore to her face, and then after continues the verbal assault threatening her to stay away or else she'll take action...

It was at this point I have had enough !!! I slammed my cocktail and said lets go... Got back to the house and didn't argue with her - asked her to leave, ignored her calls for a few days, told her it was over...

I am a very fun and loving person who will give everything, including my soul when I am comfortable, but I can't stand the drama, and once it starts I have a hard time feeling it will get any better after that...

Generally overall she is a very fun girl and very pleasant, great cook and did lots of nice things for me to her credit - but it seems that for some people love - invokes jealousy, which turns to anger and aggressive behavior.... not very pleasant to deal with...

Rant over.... thanks for listening...

Ever think of dating men?

LOL

 

[mazersteven]

Always remember to wear a condom when dating. Always practice safe sex.

 

[Davemcc]

Ever think of dating men?

LOL

OK, I'll be the one to say it.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

 

[CraigV]

OK, I'll be the one to say it.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

“Yadda yadda yadda – NO SOUP FOR YOU!”

 

[sawzalot]

Oh the Drama....

I can relate,I too raised my son as a single father he is now 22 yo and pretty much self sufficient, he still shops in my pantry and fridge on the weekends.I went through a similiar situation with a live in and realized that all the stuff and nonsense stole away precious time to be spent with my son and therefore went the same route as you , ended it never to look back, she had issues too and I was as faithful as any early thirties un-married guy could be,whats the saying I always window shopped but never went for the test drive, so whats wrong with that.Human nature,right .
Going the single route,well at least no live in girl while my son was younger, is the best thing that I ever did once he started his freshman year in college I tried the whole live together routine again and walla this time it went as it should and lo and be-hold I am happily married for the first time.(second marriage).
I think you did the absolute right thing Warp, why should you feel guilty and then have to apologize for the person that is supposed to be your partner in everyday life, her issues go far deeper than any one night at a bar, maybe if she got some therapy you two could end up at least friends being as to how you spoke of her GOOD qualities.I hope everything works out for you for the best, take care.

 

[billy p]

Being single isn't all its cracked up to be. Speaking for myself having being down that road, I was never happy living that lifestyle. Although relationships can be up and down so long as the good times outweigh the bad, I'm easy.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[Wafflesomd]

I also have zero tolerance for drama. Which is probably why I'm single.