Hahahaha. Too funy.
I think I made this comment in a different thread, but it fits so well here:
"Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window"
and also:
Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!