Business was terrible and not picking up, I had to lay one person off, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Veronica or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, I decided that I would fire the first one who used the water-cooler the next morning.
When Veronica came in with a horrible hangover after partying all night, she went directly to the cooler to take an aspirin. I approached her and said, “Veronica, I’ve never done this before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”
“Could you jack-off for now?” she replied. “I feel like poop. If you can wait, I’ll do you at lunchtime.”
I had to let Jack go.