I was only joking about any mental status. I know exactly the sound I want. And I'm almost there.
Just Enjoying the Sound.
Lighten Up.
I don't think it is that bad, it is just Placebo effect at its best. It is proven, we are all affected by it, if you know what is playing, you will hear a difference regardless. Dr. Floyd Toole even said this about comparison listening to loudspeakers, that do sound much more audibly different than between class AB amps or even tube amps with similar specs.
Anyway, you believe what you want to believe, no one can deny what you heard, now back to your questions, I responded in another thread where you posted similar questions. You seem to have posted those questions in several threads so may I ask you to kindly summarize point by point what your issues are and then I am sure one of more of us will be able to help also on point by point basis. As it is now, I am no longer sure exactly what the issues are because of the scattered information.
I am very familiar with the 3808 as I used to have the 3805 and 4308 for years. The 4308 is basically a 3808 with some minor enhancements. I also have a A21, and it does have a gain control that some people use it as volume control, but I wouldn't do it, except for experimental purposes such as to prove an external DAC is working properly. That's why I emphasized the option of going direct from DAC to the A21 is only viable if the DAC has its own volume control. I have quite a few DACs, and all of them have volume control that allows me to go the direct route, though I prefer to use my preamps.
As HD mentioned before, if you want to go the DAC to 3808 to A21 route, that is the best way to get the best out of your Focal speakers, you have to set up the input mode correctly otherwise you will get no sound, been there, done that..
By the way, which Oppo do you have, if it is the 205, that's on or near the top of all those measured by ASR, so if you have the audiophile (except audiophiles on the subjective group) mentality, it would be best to go the route of Oppo direct to the A21.