Announcing Calrisian Enterprises new line of audio accessories!!!

[music4cities]

Well hello my audiohaulic brethren, what have we here?

In appreciation of the community here and the invaluable information it hath bestowed upon me, your humble compadre in audio adventure, I wanted to let you cats know first about a new venture launched by Calrissian Enterpises. This line of audio accessories is inspired by the stintulating 2-d holographic videos by our shredded Audioholic Jedi masters. Though to be honest, I am confused why the one called Gene goes from pumped up, to non-pumped, and back again while that Hugo- Ferrigno cat stays at a constant level of ripped. Seriously, that dude could take on Chewie. He is so cut I bet he can strip 10AWG wire with his thighs....But I digress...

Our Kraptastical Akoustics products are based on science, not snake oil. Or even astroglide. Now, it may not always be science that you recognize as such. But rest assured that is only because this science comes from far far away and a long long time ago...and all that. This is no Machina Dynamica new age bs !

I will, from time to time, announce a new product to our line exclusively available to you! I accept payment from PayPal or in spice.

So now, without further adieu, a do, or even Duderino, let me present our first product:

THE Reconfigurable TRIADIC SPEAKER CONDUIT!

I was horrified to learn you cats still rely on speaker cables! I knew I had to do something to help out my fellows in sonic sensuality!

Now some of you may confuse this with what you call a "coat hanger" (whatever that is. I don't wear coats. Only capes...and the occaisional cloak if truth be told. Sometimes a short jacket.) But do not be confused, this is a bespoke SOLID CORE oxygen free unobtainiym crystalline conductor, shipped straight from the planet Jovan. No cheap Chinese metals for me! Plus, we treat each one to a special carbon freeze cryogenic process that realigns the metallic lattice for a smooth sound not possible with normal metal forming processes. Now, Just because any structural changes revert back to normal upon defrosting does not mean this process is pointless. Far from it, my friends, far from it. You will hear how special it is and KNOW it was Worth every penny of the 10,000 pennies per foot you spent (10 ft min per order). Or grain of spice. Your choice.

Scientific double blind tests on your very planet have demonstrated that a coat hanger can be just as good as exotic cables (https://consumerist.com/2008/03/03/do-coat-hangers-sound-as-good-monster-cables/)

If so, imagine how AMAZINGLY BETTER this stuff is going to sound!

I used miles of this stuff when I upgraded the Falcon's sound system to 69.1 surround sound. Even Chewie noticed the difference immediately from inside a smuggling compartment and he has all that fur over his ears. His exact words were: "Arghu-gurra Hur-graph!" Rougly translated, that means "whoa, I can't believe how bright yet warm, detailed but diffused, louder yet softer, the sound is...did you get new speakers?" In fact I did get new speakers, but that is besides the point.

Try it at home for 30 days. Or 30 orbits of the Nagu system. Whichever comes first. If you are not completely satisfied, return it for a full refund, minus a 20% restocking fee. So long as it has not been reconfigured for use, that is.

Trust me my fellow acoustic buccaneers, after all, I know how to make the Kessel Run in UNDER twelve parsecs. Even biwired with litz cable, no Audioquest junk can achieve acoustic speed and attack of that magnitude!

Plus this stuff is also handy for bypassing your droid's blown motivator. Not that I ever refuse a blown motivator. If you know what I mean. And I think that you do.

 

[slipperybidness]

Well hello my audiohaulic brethren, what have we here?

In appreciation of the community here and the invaluable information it hath bestowed upon me, your humble compadre in audio adventure, I wanted to let you cats know first about a new venture launched by Callrisian Enterpises. This new line of audio accessories is also inspired by the stintulating research presented on video by our shredded Audiohic overlords. Though to be honest, I am confused why the one called Gene goes from pumped up, to non-pumped, and back again while that Lou Ferrigno cat stays at a contant level of ripped. Seriously, that cat could take on Chewie. Anyway, this new line of products is based on science, not snake oil. Now, it may not always be science that you recognize as such. But rest assured that is only because this science comes from far far away and a long long time ago, and all that. This is no Machina Dynamica new age bs !

I will, from time to time, announce a new product to our line exclusively available to you! I accept payment from PayPal or in spice.

So now, without further adieu, a do, or even Duderino, let me present our first product:

THE Reconfigurable TRIADIC SPEAKER CONDUIT!

I was horrified to learn you cats still rely on speaker cables! I knew I had to do something to help out my fellows in sonic sensuality!

Now some of you may confuse this with what you call a "coat hanger" (whatever that is. I don't wear coats. Only capes...and the occaisional cloak if truth be told. Sometimes a short jacket.) But do not be confused, this is a bespoke SOLID CORE oxygen free crystalline conductor, shipped straight from the planet Jovan. No cheap Chinese metals for me! Plus, we treat each one to a special carbon freeze cryogenic process that realigns the metallic lattice. Now, Just because any structural changes revert back to normal upon defrosting does not mean this process is pointless. Far from it, my friends, far from it You KNOW it produces extra value and makes it special. Worth every penny. Or grain of spice. Your choice.

Scientific double blind tests on your very planet have demonstrated that a coat hanger can be just as good as exotic cables. If so, imagine how AMAZINGLY BETTER this stuff is going to sound!

I used tons on this stuff when I upgraded the Falcon's sound system to 69.1 surround sound. And this stuff is also handy for bypassing your droids blown motivator.

Trust me my fellow acoustic buccaneers, after all, I know how to make the Kessel Run in UNDER twelve parsecs. And even biwired with litz cable, no Audioquest junk can achieve speed and attack of that magnatude.

This is great! This is the perfect thread to direct those looking for that extra something to spend their $ on, in order to get that last little je ne sais quoi!

The spice must flow! Why don't you accept BitCoin? C'mon, a company of such clear technological advancements needs to be on the bleeding edge on all fronts.

Future upgrade--you need to get a nice uniform Teflon coating on that thing!

 

[music4cities]

Thank you for pointing that out those omissions, slippery Bidness. I myself find that "slippery bidness" useful from time to time. I recommend the strawberry flavored version.


. Bitcoin yes. Also Colt.45Koin accepted.

Teflon? Very old skool! These are coated with a spritz of musk from the Planet jovan. For extra smoothness. Because for cats like me -- and, I suspect, for you, my harmonic compatriot -- the end of the day is only the beginning...stay sexy!

 

[j_garcia]

And it isn't even April.

 

[Pogre]

Old tech. Mine are more advanced.

As you can see, mine are insulated with bamboo, which, as everyone knows, is the most perfect material sonically than just about everything else out there. It adds warmth and presence to your low end and more articulation and transparency in the upper frequencies.

It will also improve your soundstage and give you pinpoint accuracy. We added 2 slide adjusters on the bottom where you see exposed metal (exposed so as not to "over correct" with bamboo) to help you really dial things in for your specific room.

All of the bamboo used is sourced from Narnia, hand selected, hand crafted and polished with unicorn semen. You will find no equal.

 

[music4cities]

Old tech. Mine are more advanced.

View attachment 22105
As you can see, mine are insulated with bamboo, which, as everyone knows, is the most perfect material sonically than just about everything else out there. It adds warmth and presence to your low end and more articulation and transparency in the upper frequencies. We also added 2 slide adjusters on the bottom where you see exposed metal (exposed so as not to "over correct" with bamboo") to help you really dial things in for your specific room.

All of the bamboo used is sourced from Narnia, hand selected, hand crafted and polished with unicorn semen. You will find no equal.

Hello there The Edge circa 1992! I gave your post a rainbow rating it was that chromatically radiant!

Though, while I hate to say it, your product relies a bit too much upon allegorical fantasy. I, for one, believe the next frontier of the audiophile expanded universe is the horizon of monomythic pastiche.

I wonder where @killdozzer 's Chomsky-esque semeotic analysis would land on such an issue.

 

[NINaudio]

to quote Chris Cornell: "If this isn't making sense, it doesn't make it lies."

 

[music4cities]

And it isn't even April.

First of all, Mr j_garcia thank you for the calenderical clarification. It is, indeed, not April. Most "useful" I rate it.

Second, man I gotta ask you what is up with that range of neckties you came out with in the late 1980s? They were a sartorial atrocity of the greatest magnatude.

 

[music4cities]

to quote Chris Cornell: "If this isn't making sense, it doesn't make it lies."

Well hello there @NINaudio , or as I know you, "Trent". Thank you my latex trousered but lovin Rush dork on the down low friend. I rate your response as informative for contributiing that age old adage.

BTB (by the by), the above is meant as a compliment. I too have crossed the event horizon of Cygnus x-1 on my way to the Fountains of Lambeth, with Bytor and the Snowdog by my side. As one does.

 

[slipperybidness]

@music4cities
Payment with Colt 45 was a given

 

[music4cities]

Hmm, Funny AND Freindly

 

[Pogre]

Hello there The Edge circa 1992! I gave your post a rainbow rating it was that chromatically radiant!

Though, while I hate to say it, your product relies a bit too much upon allegorical fantasy. I, for one, believe the next frontier of the audiophile expanded universe is the horizon of monomythic pastiche.

I wonder where @killdozzer 's Chomsky-esque semeotic analysis would land on such an issue.

I'll have you know all of the materials used for my cables are genuine and straight from the source. Guaranteed.

This is some of the polish we use. Not only do you get an ultra slick finish, it will also improve your damping factor.

*Edit: If you like I can send you a sample for testing. I think all I have to put it in for samples are sandwich bags tho...

 

[killdozzer]

This ya my system. Nah, where you want me to insert them cables?

 

[Pogre]

This ya my system. Nah, where you want me to insert them cables?
View attachment 22110

That's a pretty fancy stereo receiver you got there. Since we're going there...

I'm already getting the deepest lows and the finessssssst ssssssiiizzzzle with my 8 super tweeters. I'm fixin' to wire one up with my cables and the other with @music4cities... or is it @music4Luis? Not sure. That one popped up too.

Anyhoo, shootout time!

 

[j_garcia]

that thread finally died, RIP. Don't dig it up lol.

"I keep frying tweeters, any ideas why?"

That's a pretty fancy stereo receiver you got there. Since we're going there...

View attachment 22112 View attachment 22113 View attachment 22114

I'm already getting the deepest lows and the finessssssst ssssssiiizzzzle with my 8 super tweeters. I'm fixin' to wire one up with my cables and the other with @music4cities... or is it @music4Luis? Not sure. That one popped up too.

Anyhoo, shootout time!

 

[mtrycrafts]

And it isn't even April.

In preparation of. Or, he is late or forgot when that happens.

 

[music4cities]

You cats are high class.

Well since we are doing the whole you show my yours and I'll show you mine thing....

Here is the center channel of my home theater rig on cloud city.

 

[music4cities]

@BoredSysAdmin ...Dumb? You rate my offering Dumb? Well no wonder you are bored. Lobot was a technocratic humorless sysadmin too until I hooked him up with tha electrostatic headphone set.

 

[BoredSysAdmin]

Dumb isn't very accurate. it should be read as not funny nor original.

 

[Pogre]

You're not cool until BSA rates one of your posts dumb.