I would have tendency to agree with all that at this level it would be very difficult to hear a difference. The XLR connections could play a big role under certain conditions, but other than that it's hard to justify the extra cost.
I know how good it feels to get into pre pro and power amp the first time, but after the initial thrill, the logical side of the brain would kick in and then one would likely realize the following facts.
1) Most probably won't use the balanced I/Os. As you pointed out, they are only of benefit under certain conditions.
2) The pre-outs don't always (D&M, Yamaha as examples) offer higher outputs even if you need them higher.
3) They may last longer but they get outdated too quickly IMO for that to be a factor.
4) For movies, even if they do sound better, I would bet 99.99% of their users would fail even a simple blind listening tests comparing their pre pros with the flag ship AVR of the same brand.
5) As in 4) above, same for music if listened in pure direct mode.
6) Regardless, for those who are serious in high quality two channel music, few HT system can do both, so I think most will have separate two channel systems anyway.
After making the wrong decision twice, 3) is definitely a deciding factor for my future upgrade. If I could go back in time, I would have stick to powering the front 3 channels with power amps and an AVR to do the rest. Now I have a total of 3 power amps with a total of 11 working channels yet only using 7. If I "upgrade" to an AVR now I would end up with 20 to 22 channels for my HT system so I am going to hold on to my somewhat antiquated (at age 3) pre pro for as long as I can..