It's hard to understand. You lose everything. That's why treatment takes so long. It takes a while, months, years, for some people. I have a friend that wanted to stop using so bad he opened up both wrists. He felt his choices were use or die. May sound incomprehensible, but that pain was so bad he felt he had only those two choices. That was 23 years ago and he's clean now.
It seem as easy as use, don't use, but it's not. Like I said it's complicated.
Why do any of us do the things we do. Even when we know those things are harmful. I don't know...