Sorry for the long story, but I already told it 15 times to different people so I figured I would type it once and share it with the AH family...
Last night me and my wife met a couple friends for dinner, I had a glass of whiskey {double on the rocks} and tasted my wifes cosmo... I ordered bison pot roast and ate the entire thing all the green beans and half the potatoes, and drank a couple glasses of water. We were there for around 2 hours total after we got seated...
On the way home I decided to take a detour and check on one of my properties, the tenant complained that my worker didn't shovel her walks good and there was ice, so earlier before I left the house I tossed a bag of 50/50 in the back of the jeep. We get to the property and I throw down the salt mix {there wasn't much ice and everything looked fine but better safe than sorry, I don't want any slip and fall suits}...
Now its about 10pm I'm heading home, the roads were slick, all my lights were on, vehicle is completely legitimate, I am going 10 mph under the posted limit, driving in my lane up a hill, seat belts on, not swerving or displaying any "intoxicated" behavior, after all the last drink sip of liquor I consumed was over an hour ago...
I drive by a local city cop sitting in a parking lot, he pulls out behind me and follows for about 1/4 mile then signals for me to pull over {lights and a couple chirps}.... I pull up and over in a walmart parking lot, the street I am on splits 2 towns, so now he is out of his town since the walmart is on the opposite side of the road, I knew this but wasn't thinking about it, I was just trying to pull somewhere safe...
So I pull in and turn my interior lights on {its the law, incase anyone here gets pulled over at night, cabin lights have to be on}, I retrieve my licence, registration, and insurance as well as my wifes license so its ready when he comes to the window... He comes to the window and says "where you headin?" so I said "why?", he didn't say anything so I continued "why are you pulling me over?" He says "I'll be rite with you, shut your engine" and walks away with my info....
We sit there for 10-15 minutes, now I'm getting aggravated, I know a couple cops in that town but its late, and I know they work days, so I don't want to start making phone calls.... He comes back to the window {its getting cold, it was 5 degrees out last night we are in a jeep, hard top but still not very sealed}... he asks me to step out... Fine, I do.
I had a cherry cough drop in my mouth and he said to spit it out, so I asked why, he took a step back and said "are we going to have a problem?" I said "are you serious?, you asked me to do something, I asked you why, you pulled me over I asked you why, and now you want a problem?" I spit the cough drop out.... So now I know its going to be an issue, so I looked at my wife and signaled to my phone, she knew what it meant and started dialing...
Now I know its a matter of time this kids phone is going to light up and he is going to let me go. He says he suspects I have been drinking and wants me to take a sobriety test, I said "do you have a breathalyzer??" and he says "will you submit to it?" and I said "yes"...
So we walk to the back of his patrol car and he pulls the rig out and tells me to blow until he says to stop, which I do, .04 half the legal limit, I was surprised it was even that high. So now the curve ball!!!!!!!!!!! He says "put your hands behind your back" {I seen the reading but now I'm thinking maybe it was an 8 and not a 4!!!} he cuffs me and says "your not under arrest I'm just doing this for my safety", now I'm not going to say another word, arrest me and I'll call my lawyer and not say another word about anything, just my name...
He walks over the my wifes side of the jeep now she had just put the phone down while I was blowing I could see her shut the phone, but she picked it back up when she seen me getting cuffed up... He said "put the phone down mam and get out of the vehicle", so I hollered over "easy pal", so she has only had a glass of wine but she is wearing boots with heels {yah I know, 6 inches of snow and she wears a shoe with heels}, so he puts his arm out to help her walk... He is talking to her so I start to walk over and he says "stay over there" so now I say "listen bud, this is getting old, what are you looking for" he was asking her if he could search the vehicle {her name is on the reg.}.
I hear sirens so now I'm like WTF, he called back up, this is stupid... 2 more cruisers pull in all lit up and loud... BUT I see a familiar face, I don't know the officers name but I have seen him at a friend of mines partys who is a day time Sgt {and who I thought my wife called}... So now 3 cruisers and 4 cops!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not saying anything, one of the older gentleman says hello to my wife and asks her if she needs help getting back in the car completely cutting off the cop that initially stopped us and was still trying to talk to her...
The other cop that I am familiar with walks over and says "hey Irv, rough night?" as he walks around me and starts to take the cuffs off, I said "I've had rougher" and he said "cuffs were pretty tight what did you do to him?" I just laughed.. The other cops were talking and I said "is everything OK, did I blow over the limit?" , he made an I don't know shrug and hollered to the other group of cops "what did he read?" and the cop said ".04" !!!! SO NOW I AM READY TO FLIP OUT!!!
I said "are you Fkin serious?, you little prick, you cuff me up and pull my wife out of the car for .04?" and I start walking over to him, he said "I'm sorry sir, you didn't say you were related to Dave" I don't remember the rest word for word but I expressed what a douche he was and it shouldn't matter who someone knew and he had no business being a cop and I dared him to ever pull me or my wife over again, blah blah blah {easy to be a prick when I knew I was rite and the other cops knew who I was}...
The other cops grabbed me my info and said I was good to go, they all apologized shook my hand and the older gentleman made it a point to make sure I heard him say "you and me are going to talk before shift end" to the cop that pulled me over...
I got in the car and my wife said, "jesus what is going on?", I asked her who she called {we know a few in that town and a few others are customers of mine} and she said she called Matt who is a real good friend of ours who called his brother who is a captain... So I called Matty to thank him and he was like "what did you do to piss that kid off" but he went on to tell me his brother told him that kid has some serious little guy issues, and probably isn't going to be around that dept long.
So that was my excitement for the month, and a story I get to share for a few more days until everyone has heard it... I was really nervous there for a second, thinking I was DUI, I obviously felt fine and would never drive to endanger my wife or myself, I am 300 lbs and can handle a glass of whiskey pretty well, but I think I am going to invest in one of them portable breathalyzers just to be safe after last nights experience..
