Wife doesn't understand

[bsf]

but she did get me thinking... She can't understand why I would spend thousands for A/V equipment for pure entertainment and a mindless activity when that money could be used for other more productive things (she mentioned vacation, college funds, etc)
Anyone else get this?

 

[fmw]

Sure, I understand. You need to negotiate a compromise. Compromise is what successful marriages share in common.`````

 

[AJM]

Compromise.

There is no audio system on earth worth more than a happy marriage.

I've spent a good part of my life with some pretty screwed up priorities--a lot related to audio. Maybe she has a point.

 

[KenM10759]

Compromise indeed.

And when that doesn't work I find its easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. After 34.9 years of wedded bliss, she now accepts that I'm going to have audio-visual equipment she deems uneeded and a motorcycle she considers a murderous weapon. I've taken to introducing her to friends not as my wife per se, rather as "this is my future widow."

She counters by introducing me to her friends as "this is my first husband."

 

[Montucky]

When it comes to A/V there IS no compromise in my household. My wife understands that realm is my domain. She gets full reign of the kitchen and the rest of the main floor. I get full reign of the basement. Works out great. Even better? She actually WANTS a pair of Status Acoustics Voce Finas for our livingroom...funding pending. Haha. Slowly, but surely, maybe, just maybe, I can make an audiophile out of her yet. I already have her noticing bad setups when we're out and about.

It's all about education, my friends. Don't give up just yet.

 

[KEW]

but she did get me thinking... She can't understand why I would spend thousands for A/V equipment for pure entertainment and a mindless activity when that money could be used for other more productive things (she mentioned vacation, college funds, etc)
Anyone else get this?

Everything in moderation!

If you have thousands in a well chosen system, I would say you have reached the point of diminishing returns. Spending more money if it is coming out of the kids education fund is a questionable call. Most of us make do with such a system and, if after the kids funds are covered, if we still have the where-with-all we upgrade to what we always wanted.

If money is tight, $500, patience, and a vigilant eye on CraigsList can get you a damned good system!!!

 

[AJM]

...Slowly, but surely, maybe, just maybe, I can make an audiophile out of her yet...

Be careful what you wish for.

 

[bsf]

Money is not tight and the wife and I do very decent for ourselves ... She just hates the fact its for entertainment and would rather it be used for better and more productive things in life.

 

[KEW]

Money is not tight and the wife and I do very decent for ourselves ... She just hates the fact its for entertainment and would rather it be used for better and more productive things in life.

Thanks for the clarification.
Most audio gear is pretty durable - good for 10 years or better. If you need to keep up with latest video, then the AVR has a shorter life. If you look at it that way, $5000 is $500/year or $1.37/day, or less than 2 packs of cigarettes/week (to give a comparison that might work to your favor). You can also put it in terms of trips to Starbucks.
The bottom line is to explain that it is a great source of joy in your life. She would be a rare woman if she is totally practical and doesn't have some form of indulgence for herself, be it shoes, mani/pedicures, etc.

A nice book to check out is "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. While it is not at all specific to Audio gear, it does a great job of explaining how different people are attuned to different ways of communicating affection towards each other. The 5 "languages" are physical touch, quality time together, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving. Life together is much easier if you know each other's language. My point is this book presents the idea of you placing different emphasis on different endeavors. You don't need to rationalize it, just explain that coming home and listening to music played on a high quality system just restores order to your chaotic day (or some such), and ask her to indulge you on this. Maybe present it as a mental health maintenance fee (not going crazy, but maintaining perspective, balance, and staying grounded) - that sounds pretty practical!

If she is practical in extreme, it is a safe bet that she really values you are passionate about some things. Audio is a manifestation of that!

Hope this helps and good luck!

Oh, and take her on a nice vacation!!!
Go exciting! A nice trip to some place like Costa Rica for a week including airfare is about the same cost as renting a condo on the US beach for a week (along with food and entertainment at beach).

 

[markw]

I don't understand my wife's penchant for multitudes of shoes and handbag but so far we're doing fine, she's a good wife, and it keeps her happy (as do I, I hope). Also, she has no qualms about my occasional splurge on audio indulgences.

We each accept the others unusual hobbies. I'm sure your wife has things you cannot understand but make her happy.

 

[Hi Ho]

What I don't understand is women's nearly universal disinterest in anything A/V related. Why is it that women hate the look of speakers, even beautifully finished speakers that are furniture quality? I will never understand this... and maybe that's why I'm still single.

 

[KenM10759]

That is something I also wonder about. Is it that we men tend to be far more "gadget oriented" and women are more interested in the meaning of lyrics in a song?

My wife has shown no more than a passing "whatever" in the new speakers, and criticized the new 55" TV for being "too big" (and commented that the old 42" LCD was just fine.)

 

[Alex2507]

Money is not tight ...

Welcome to the inner sanctum.

 

[KEW]

but she did get me thinking... She can't understand why I would spend thousands for A/V equipment for pure entertainment and a mindless activity when that money could be used for other more productive things (she mentioned vacation, college funds, etc)
Anyone else get this?

I think her mention of vacation is telling. Strictly speaking vacation is not especially practical or productive. It is a luxury and something that only last a short period of time (though the memories last).
Maybe every time she sees you spend money on audio, she is seeing a vacation opportunity pass by.
I don't know your situation, but I'm going for typical low-hanging fruit (most common issues) here. Often between work and the routine of life, guys (more commonly than gals) don't set aside the time to take vacations. Consider it marriage maintenance, if you need to, but the time to break your daily grind and go someplace together and rediscover each other, and the things that brought you together, is important (or at least that is the way I perceive the female brain to work).

 

[3db]

My wife doesn't understand either and hates looking at the equipment. She's threatening me by wanting to by Bose to replace my secondary system for when we move into the new town home. Its unfortunate for me that my audio hobby has always been issue with her. I certainly do not spend a lot of money on the hobby compared to most in here. I don't understand.

 

[Alex2507]

My wife doesn't understand either and hates looking at the equipment. She's threatening me by wanting to by Bose to replace my secondary system for when we move into the new town home. Its unfortunate for me that my audio hobby has always been issue with her. I certainly do not spend a lot of money on the hobby compared to most in here. I don't understand.

 

[lsiberian]

I think if you enjoy playing video games, listening to music, watching movies or tv shows with your free time then it's definitely worth investing in a quality setup.

 

[ski2xblack]

See, this is probably the only time being a Klipsch addict has benefits, as a sort of WAF test for potential brides. If they can't handle ridiculously large speakers, they probably can't handle me.

The one I ended up was primed in her youth. FIL is semi-pro musician and full fledged audio nut, so she grew up in a house filled with audio gear and music.

 

[Irvrobinson]

I think I'm the luckiest guy here. My wife likes the audio equipment, listens to it with me most of the time, lets me take over a good part of the living room, with the main speakers more than four feet out from the back wall, lets me run cables run all over the place, thinks an 18" sub was an awesome investment, and begged me to set up a separate HT system with a 70" display in a dedicated room (I finally relented and did it). Oh yeah, and she doesn't care for jewelry, fancy purses, or a lot of shoes, but she likes sports cars. Even better, she likes me.

 

[Seth=L]

Money is not tight and the wife and I do very decent for ourselves ... She just hates the fact its for entertainment and would rather it be used for better and more productive things in life.

I understand where she is coming from. I'm at a bit of a crossroads with myself. I am close to 30 and I'm a little frustrated that I seem to dependent on entertainment. I could do something more productive with my time and money than buy stuff.

Home audio is not a good investment, the only reward it yields is leisure and entertainment.