Sorry Jerry, but lots of bad info here.
In no instance do revolvers and semi-auto's use the same round. The difference in the loading mechanism requires a different shape.
Actually, this is quite common. I currently own or recently owned S&W revolvers chambered in 9mm (Model 940), 10mm (Model 610), and 45acp (Model 625). Of these, the S&W Model 625 is especially popular, and one of Smiths best selling revolver models.
The 610 is one of my personal favorites. The 10mm is roughly equivalent ballistically to the 41 Mag. But the 610 also shoots 40 S&W (just like a 357 Mag also shoots 38 specials).
Glocks tend to have large handles and can be difficult for people with small hands.
Most Glocks are double stack models, which by design necessitate a fairly thick grip. But these are no thicker than lots of other double stack models by other manufacturers, especially metal framed guns like the Beretta 92/M9 (which is military issue), or the Sig double stack models like the P226 or P229. Additionally, Glock makes single stack models that are significantly thinner than the mentioned Sigs and Beretta.
Finally, remember that longer barrels kick harder (again at a given weight / munition) because the bullet spends longer in the barrel with the charge applying pressure.
Just the opposite is true. You can find a good old 1911 chambered in 45acp in several different barrel lengths. The 3" barreled gun kicks more (and has more muzzle blast) than the 4' gun, which kicks more than the 5" gun, which kicks more than the 6" gun. All things being equal, the longer barrel (and slide) cause the gun to weigh more, which translates to less felt recoil (as you also stated).
.45 is a great man stopper if there are no obstructions: but it's a slow round with a lot of drop at distance and a tendency to be blocked / deflected by minor obstructions. If you are thinking Glock and have no trouble finding the rounds: you might consider the .45GAP over the .45ACP.
A fast small bullet is much more susceptible to deflection than a slow large bullet. Forget the 45 GAP. It is the answer to a question/problem that no one asked. That is why it will soon be obsolete. It's currently very difficult to find guns and especially 45 Gap ammo.
The 10mm and .50 rounds are obviously terrific at killing things: but do kick hard, and require large weapons to hold a significant number of rounds.
The 10mm is nothing more than an elongated 40 S&W case with more powder. Revolvers and semi-auto guns chambered in 10mm are basically no larger and have the same round capacity as other guns chambered in major hand gun calibers.
If this is not a self-defense weapon: consider a .22 or .25
The 25acp is a terrible choice if it is not a self defense gun (or actually, even if it is). 25acp ammo is very hard to find, actually more expensive than 9mm, and no more effective in a self defense situation than 22 Long Rifle.
But there is also some good advice in your post. Avoiding light weight guns because of punishing recoil and renting different guns (try before you buy) are both good ideas.