is there a revolver that takes 9mm ammunition? (so we as a family can share ammunition)
In no instance do revolvers and semi-auto's use the same round. The difference in the loading mechanism requires a different shape.
Id definitely go with a revolver. I wouldn't want the gun going off unless there was a couple of foot pounds of pressure squeezing the trigger.
You can use a revolved if you prefer, but your reasoning is false. Trigger pull weight and length are independent of the style of firearm. Both revolvers and automatics can be either heavy or light.
The only difference based on limitation is that a revolver cannot be "self-cocking"... This only comes into play on the 2nd + shot, not the first, and is possible (but far from universal) on semi-autos.
Glocks tend to have large handles and can be difficult for people with small hands. I recommend vary strongly trying several rentals to see what she's comfortable with.
BTW: The classic mistake with handguns for women is to get a light weapon. A firearm with less weight has more recoil for a given ammunition. The classic examples are the small .380s. They tend to hit the hand hard for such a small round and, as a consequence, the person who got it because they didn't want to lift a heavy weapon doesn't fire it because they don't like the kick.
Similarly on revolver-vs-semi-auto... an automatic distributes recoil over a longer time (as the slide moves back) and so, generally, hurts less at a given weight / caliber.
Finally, remember that longer barrels kick harder (again at a given weight / munition) because the bullet spends longer in the barrel with the charge applying pressure.
9mm is common, a bit weak, and generally easy to handle.
For those that won't balk at the increase in kick: I find the .40 and excellent round capable of penetrating light barriers (car doors) and still killing their target.
.357 is a .40 round with a reduced bullet size and so higher muzzle velocity. A good round, especially at distance: but I prefer the .40.
.45 is a great man stopper if there are no obstructions: but it's a slow round with a lot of drop at distance and a tendency to be blocked / deflected by minor obstructions. If you are thinking Glock and have no trouble finding the rounds: you might consider the .45GAP over the .45ACP.
The 10mm and .50 rounds are obviously terrific at killing things: but do kick hard, and require large weapons to hold a significant number of rounds.
If this is not a self-defense weapon: consider a .22 or .25
