politico headlines

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion

Study Finds Smacking Own Head Yelling ‘Stupid, Stupid’ Could Be Early Sign Of Low Self-Esteem

Clarence Thomas Torn Over Case Where Both Sides Offer Compelling Scuba Trips

Report Links Climbing Onto Enormous Index Finger With Being Whisked Away To Kingdom Of Giants

Maybelline Denies Lab-Testing Mascara On Italian Widows

Increasingly Isolated Putin Tries Joining Adult Kickball League

Google Announces Everyone’s Got To Chill With These Depressing Inquiries

Olympic Anti-Sex Beds Outfitted With Athletes’ Grandparents

 

[Dude#1279435]

Rapper Recording New Album in California Prison While Serving Time on Weapons Charges...

 

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion

Completely Alone Man Really Thought Blowing Out Birthday Candle In Dark Apartment Would Have Cheered Him Up

Message Hidden Backward In Black Sabbath Album Wishes Everyone A Good Time Listening To Rock And Roll

Suicidal Man Urged By Onlookers To Jump From Higher Floor

J.D. Vance Vows To Fight For Forgotten Communities In Silicon Valley

Trump Vows To Unite Nation Against Common Enemy Of Other Americans

‘Really, Really, Really Happy For You, Kamala,’ Says Hillary Clinton, Not Letting Go Of Handshake

News Happening Faster Than Man Can Generate Uninformed Opinions

Archaeologists Celebrate After Uncovering Ancient Certificate Congratulating Them For Finding All The Stuff

Trump: ‘You All Look Really Stupid With Those Things On Your Head’

Biden Told He Won Election As Aide Gently Closes His Eyes

Usha Vance Gently Corrects RNC Usher Attempting To Deport Her

 

[Tankini]

Found this article:

MSN

 

[mtrycrafts]

Found this article:
View attachment 68598

MSN

Does Texas have enough busses? Enough $$$?

 

[William Lemmerhirt]

Found this article:
View attachment 68598

MSN

Be closer to send em back home. Or maybe they’re trying to send a message to the sanctuary cities?

 

[Dude#1279435]

Incredible......

Heartbreak as 'one in a million' chimpanzee dies in zoo, aged 58...

I believe that was around covid but didn't think the import problem Buttigieg had wouldn't really hurt a prez run. Not sure I like his policy, but strategically if he sits this one out I think he improves his chances.

VANCE: FEDS SHOULD TRACK WOMEN TRAVELLING FOR ABORTIONS... AUDIO...
A+ POLL: TRUMP 48 HARRIS 47...
Buttigieg Emerges as Favorite, According to Polls...
Sharon Stone vows to leave USA if Trump elected...

America Running Out of Generic Drugmakers...
This Mars rock could show evidence of life...
Transplant breakthrough as human receives titanium heart for first time...

 

[Dude#1279435]

Who needs Drudge when you can have The Onion....

Team USA’s Arrival In France Leaves American Basketball Rims Largely Unguarded

God Frustrated After Realizing Gates Of Heaven Too Narrow To Fit Couch Through

National Archives Intern Tasked With Singeing Edges Of Constitution To Make It Look Old

Study Finds 80% Of Food Waste Result Of Half-Assed Chicken Wing Eating Technique

Study Finds Pile Still World’s Most Popular Stack

Millions Dead After God Accidentally Drops AC Unit Out Of Heaven

Nation Forgets What It Was They Didn’t Like About O.J. Simpson

Nation Shrugs After Hearing Trump Guilty Verdict, Unpauses ‘MILF
Manor’

Trump: ‘We’ll Take This All The Way To The Supreme Court I Appointed’

 

[davidscott]

Keep em coming

 

[Dude#1279435]

Steven Spielberg Apologizes For Removing Kiss Between E.T., Elliott

Physical Therapy Office Politely Declines Daniel Jones’ Offer Of Framed, Signed Jersey For Wall

Delight At Receiving Breakfast In Bed Mitigated By Difficulty Of Eating While Horizontal

That Last Drink The One That Did It, Report Hungover Sources

Mom’s Divorce Fails To Slow Down Pleas For Adult Daughter To Get Married

Tony The Tiger Remains Closest Thing Man Has To Father Figure

Point/Counterpoint: Hillary Clinton Is Polling Ahead Of Joe Biden vs. Did Somebody Say Hillary Clinton?

Wimbledon Trying To Excite Us, But The Ball Still Just Goes Back And Forth All Day

Biden Team Holds Rapid-Fire Series Of Public Events Featuring President Waving From Very Far Away

Bored Equifax Sees How Much They Can Lower Man’s Credit Score Before He Kills Himself

 

[highfigh]

The Onion
Olympic Anti-Sex Beds Outfitted With Athletes’ Grandparents

And the grandparents wouldn't stop saying "That's not how we did it when we were your age! and "Your grandpa sure could bring it!".

 

[Dude#1279435]

As you know I'm a big fan of Musk and X.....

Musk spreads fake vid of ballot boxes 'being stolen' [they were AC units]...

USA National Debt Hits $35 Trillion...
World getting so hot and humid, parts will be uninhabitable...
Rush to Shore Up Power Grid Against Extreme Weather...

 

[davidscott]

As you know I'm a big fan of Musk and X.....

Musk spreads fake vid of ballot boxes 'being stolen' [they were AC units]...

USA National Debt Hits $35 Trillion...
World getting so hot and humid, parts will be uninhabitable...
Rush to Shore Up Power Grid Against Extreme Weather...

Like I said keep em coming.

 

[mtrycrafts]

As you know I'm a big fan of Musk and X.....

Musk spreads fake vid of ballot boxes 'being stolen' [they were AC units]...

USA National Debt Hits $35 Trillion...
World getting so hot and humid, parts will be uninhabitable...
Rush to Shore Up Power Grid Against Extreme Weather...

I thought Musk was smart. I guess maybe he wants to replace the Trumpster after the election.

 

[Dude#1279435]

The Onion

Terrified Conservative Planning To Move To 1930s Austria If Trump Loses

Study Finds Exercise May Help Alzheimer’s Patients Look Hot

Wealthy Hospital Patient Orders 3 Of Every Procedure

Inconclusive Study Fails To Identify Whose Water Glass Was Whose

Grandfather’s Eyes Light Up While Describing Memories Of Old Country Buffet

Kamala Harris Plays Hooky To Sit In ‘Price Is Right’ Studio Audience

Tesla Fans Explain Why Elon Musk Deserves $56 Billion Payout

Kamala Harris Rushes To Marshall’s To Buy Nicer Work Clothes

New Hire Not Yet Comfortable Enough To Mention He Saw Man Die On Way In

 

[highfigh]

The Onion

Grandfather’s Eyes Light Up While Describing Memories Of Old Country Buffet

They should have called that place 'Enabler's".

 

[mtrycrafts]

The Onion

Terrified Conservative Planning To Move To 1930s Austria If Trump Loses
...

What a sick person.
Where is that place anyhow? Certainly not todays Austria.

 

[Dude#1279435]

Lousy Jobs Report Forces Fed to Reckon With Hard Landing...
Black ABC Host Received Death Threats Following Trump Interview...
FOX Ingraham Goes After Kamala for -- Hugging?
CARVILLE: You Should Call MAGA Creeps Not Weirdo's...
***Trump Team Had Kamala Strategy. Then He Went Off-Script About Her Skin Color...
Jimmy Carter says he's holding on to vote for her...
Biles wins 10th Olympic medal...
Dings Trump with 'I love my Black job' tweet...

Far-right protesters clash with police during UK rallies... Developing...
Third night of riots...
Obscure Russian-linked 'news' outlet fuelling violence...

Florida Hurricane Threat Rises as Storm Moves North Into Gulf...

Olympics chief slams 'unacceptable' hate speech against boxers in gender row...
Banned governing body that's fueling outcry has Russian ties...
Games official bounced for 'white supremacy' hand gesture...

Iran plans to attack Israel on the Jewish day of disasters...
Fears of Middle East war grow...
Pentagon deploying more ships, fighters to boost presence...

 

[highfigh]

What a sick person.
Where is that place anyhow? Certainly not todays Austria.

Uh, that's from The Onion- satire.

 

[Dude#1279435]

They should have called that place 'Enabler's".

I worked there over 10 years ago. When they went under I wasn't surprised. Every six months the cost went up .50-$1. Then you had to buy a drink separately from the meal. The desserts, while I can't speak to the taste, looked not very good. It kept changing ownership also. The bland minimum I think is what they catered towards.