Update
First, I want to thank everyone's kind words. It truly means a lot to me. My family and I are handling things a lot better now. I guess it's like everything else in life, some days are definitely better than others. I recently started doing some of my old hobbies I had before he passed, and I've started a few new ones.
I never knew how proud of me he was. He used to brag about me to all of his friends (I had no clue). I heard this from all of his friends. He used to tell them how strong I was (physically)...and after hearing this, I started lifting weights again....can't let my bro down you know
I think about my bro every day, and I have dreams about him all the time. I really wish my dreams were good dreams about him. He's always really sick or he follows me around without saying anything. I think watching my brother die (literally) kind of messed up my minds perception of him. I don't think those images will ever leave me.
If I had to do it all over again, I might say a few other things I didn't say, but I would still be there by his side...He never gave up on me and there's not a chance in hell I would give up on him. I miss my brother, my best friend, and I can't wait to be with him again one of these days.
