Last week, my brother was admitted into Loma Linda Medical Center hospital because his body was retaining a lot of fluid. Our family was informed that the right side of his heart was end stage Congested Heart Failure. With the help of medicine, my brother lost over 40lbs of excess fluid. He was scheduled to be released between Wednesday and Friday of last week, but on Thursday he began having difficulty breathing. I visited him, brought him food, and we talked about all sorts of things. Yesterday morning (05-09-10), I called the Cardiac Intensive Care unit to speak to him.
A Doctor answered the phone. He told me that my brother Matthew had such a hard time breathing, they placed him on a ventilator. I went to the hospital and went into his room. There lied my 28 year old brother on the gurney with tubes sticking out of his mouth. He was partially sedated and was able to communicate by nodding his head yes or no. I spoke to his Pulmonary Doctor to see what was the cause of the respiratory distress.
The Doctor told me they took x-rays of his lungs and were not able to see what was wrong with them. She then went on to say that she wanted to check the inside of his lungs with a camera and we consented. About an hour later we were told my brother had a large blood clot blocking his right lung. She said they needed to stabilize his oxygen saturation before they could try to remove the clot. Two teams of Respiratory Therapists went in and worked on stabilizing his oxygen saturation for over 5 hours without any success. We were told by the doctors and nurses that he was still partially sedated and he was still aware of what was going on around him. I stood by him strong, as I sat with him and told him how much I loved him. I told him how honored I was to be his older brother and I would not leave until he left. I could see that he was giving it everything he had and I was proud. Every time I told him I loved him, his eyebrows would raise. We all took turns sitting by his bedside speaking to him.
At 0343 hours this morning, my brother took his last breath. The suffering had ceased.
I thanked the medical staff for their above and beyond attention they gave my brother. I met with the Respiratory Therapists and thanked them for their valiant effort. Many of the medical staff broke down and cried. I’d never seen so much compassion for a single person and their family.
I miss my brother so much. It seems like there wasn’t enough time to do and say the things that I wanted to say. This is by far the hardest event that I’ve ever dealt with. I was his older brother…I always protected him, and I felt helpless as he fought his Final Battle. I kept my promise and did not leave the hospital until he did. I always protected him, now it’s his turn to protect me.
I miss you so much my brother and I love you with all of my heart. You ARE the best brother I could have ever had. I swear, I will be with you again someday Matthew. Until that time, may you enjoy your new life…pain free. I love you!
Matthew Christopher Barretta – The Strongest and Most Courageous Man I Know:
11/08/81 – 05/10/10
