I admit... I haven't been following this thread very closely, and I am probably not going back to re-read any of it...
But I love this question.
The difference in active vs passive listening is huge.
Passive is hearing in its simplest form: it is there, but is part of the atmosphere, and you are not focusing exclusively on it. Active is when you sit down and listen, engaging in critical thought about what you hear to the exclusion of everything around you.
My parents watched Hill Street Blues like that, and it was my @$$ if I talked when the show was on!
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.