Maybe single :(

[Midwesthonky]

Not knowing details, it's hard to offer advice. Relationships vary because of the personalities involved. Some take work where-as others go along well without much effort. Counseling is a good start. I am not a counselor, but I know of one couple that almost got divorced because they didn't know how to disagree without hurting each other. Not physically, but emotionally. When they fought, they were demeaning and derogetory with each other. They fought to destroy the other. It's ok to disagree, but not at the deliberate take down of the other person.

Most relationships do take work. People do not think alike and therefore we do need to try to understand where the other person is coming from. Sometimes you have to accept that you will not agree, but agree to disagree and let it go and not harbor bad feelings.

If there is any stress introduced to the relationship, like kids, illnesses, money, etc., then it becomes especially important to take time out to talk. I've been a road warrior (work) for almost 5 years now. It's hell on a marriage when you are home less than 48 hours before leaving again and she's stuck working full time with little kids to take care of. When the stress got to it's worst (several times) we backed away from the cliff and talked to help each other understand what was bothering each of us. It's not easy to hear something you are doing is bothering the other person. But you gotta listen and then make changes & adjustments to make the relationship work.

Sometimes the stress can manifest itself in strange arguments over stupid stuff. Like getting your dirty socks in the laundry basket. Am I perfect about it now? No. But we agree that everything is ok if I get them within 3 feet of the basket. Sounds stupid, but the stress reared up on that one.

Throw kids into it...yikes! Kids add massive amounts of stress. There are times when I can tell my wife is at the breaking point. So I deal with the kids and send her to go nap, or I'll take the kids with me to the store or just get them out so the wife can get a break and some peace. She does the same for me. When it comes to kids, you have to watch each others back just to survive. I found out year later that my wife really appreciated the fact that I would get up with her when it was time to feed the baby in the middle of the night and I would change the diaper for her. I got to go back to bed of course, but little things like that let her know I care. It takes work.

 

[STRONGBADF1]

At first I thought it was ParadigmPuppy ...

Either way...

 

[Bryceo]

Last night I woke up with her to feed Connor we started talking as he had his bottle, to find out that I've been a jerk cause she wants to talk about stuff and all I do is work eat sleep these days, do we stayd up for a few hours and talked were getting somewhere

 

[Midwesthonky]

Last night I woke up with her to feed Connor we started talking as he had his bottle, to find out that I've been a jerk cause she wants to talk about stuff and all I do is work eat sleep these days, do we stayd up for a few hours and talked were getting somewhere

That's a good start. It's so easy to get caught up in everything life throws at you, that you don't take time out to just talk. After 13 years together, I still have to remind my wife that I am not a mind reader. I need her to tell me if I'm doing something wrong. I am just a guy after all...

 

[Bryceo]

That's a good start. It's so easy to get caught up in everything life throws at you, that you don't take time out to just talk. After 13 years together, I still have to remind my wife that I am not a mind reader. I need her to tell me if I'm doing something wrong. I am just a guy after all...

Well I didn't no what I was doing wrong cause she never told me tell last night, I happen to have walked passed her putting Connor to bed telling him I still love them even if I'm to busy so I've made it that I finish work early enough to take him to the park or play outside, tonight I have a counseling session with Stephanie, witch is a great thing i think it will take a few session, as there are things she's not telling me

 

[Rob Babcock]

Good luck to you, buddy. A lot of the problems we have with people stem from each of us only seeing things from our own perspective. Sometimes it's difficult to get outside of our own perceptual boxes and try to see things from someone else's point of view. Sounds like you two have a lot of things to stay together for, so if you both want it to work you have a lot of common ground.

I hope things go well for you both!

 

[Bryceo]

Just left the session feeling a lot better about the relationship,
we have another one tuesday, we got the chance to talk through our problems and have sorted them
still things we need to talk about, according to the boss we have to talk every night

 

[ParadigmDawg]

This is where I don't agree with a lot of other people that say marriage is hard work and you always have to force yourself to listen and be kind, and curteous, ect.... When you find the rite one, that comes with out trying, I love to hear what my wife has to say, and I can tell when Im talking she feels the same way... .

It's easier for you, because you are married to a dude and dude's just get along better...

 

[Bryceo]

Feeding Connor and searching the web, talking to Steph!!!
feels good to talk about things,

 

[GO-NAD!]

Last night I woke up with her to feed Connor we started talking as he had his bottle, to find out that I've been a jerk cause she wants to talk about stuff and all I do is work eat sleep these days, do we stayd up for a few hours and talked were getting somewhere

We've all been wondering when you would realize this...

Just kidding man! Glad to see there's some communication happening.

 

[GO-NAD!]

Well I didn't no what I was doing wrong cause she never told me tell last night, I happen to have walked passed her putting Connor to bed telling him I still love them even if I'm to busy so I've made it that I finish work early enough to take him to the park or play outside, tonight I have a counseling session with Stephanie, witch is a great thing i think it will take a few session, as there are things she's not telling me

I don't have much to add, but if you really want to make this work, try to avoid putting "Stephanie" and "witch" in the same sentence....

 

[Bryceo]

I don't have much to add, but if you really want to make this work, try to avoid putting "Stephanie" and "witch" in the same sentence....

Thanks Nad, I will try to rember that next time
im havn lunch With her today!!!!

 

[Chu Gai]

Necromancer is a much better word than witch.

 

[ImcLoud]

I can see where this is going....

therapy session #1

Steph-"He spends all his free time on the internet, on audioholics, he has no time for me"
Bryce "But, I wrote you that love letter"
Steph-"love letter? I thought that was a grocery list, I went to 3 stores looking for Luves yew and peas four gifme"

See I just saved you all that therapy... Im glad to hear you guys are working it out, Im sure you guys will be fine.....

 

[Bryceo]

I can see where this is going....

therapy session #1

Steph-"He spends all his free time on the internet, on audioholics, he has no time for me"
Bryce "But, I wrote you that love letter"
Steph-"love letter? I thought that was a grocery list, I went to 3 stores looking for Luves yew and peas four gifme"

See I just saved you all that therapy... Im glad to hear you guys are working it out, Im sure you guys will be fine.....

Actully sent her a message jokeing I spent time with her today talking and watching movies now I'm off to bed to have cuddles

 

[rollinrocker]

I am difficult to live with. I am very stubborn and my job has me taking hot, single women out, buying them dinner and getting them drunk.

is your company hiring...?

 

[markw]

Necromancer is a much better word than witch.

That would describe me in my first marriage.

 

[GO-NAD!]

Necromancer is a much better word than witch.

Necrophiliac is a much better wor....never mind....

 

[gmichael]

Just try to remember this. Relationships are give and take. You give 70% of the time and take 30% of the time. She has to do the same while you both remember that the difference gets lost in the translation. Sometimes you be giving and it will seem to her that you are taking. Sometimes she'll be giving and it will seem to you that she is taking. That's just life. Misunderstanding happen all the time.
Ask yourself this. Is it more important to you to be right, or to be with her?

 

[rollinrocker]

necrophilia...? this is a dead subject...