Just when you think you have see it all...

[10010011]

This should win some sort of prise for the biggest B.S. product of the year.

New from the makers of popular "audiophile" products suck as the Clever Little Clock, Intelligent Chips, and Smart Pebbles.

I bring you: MACHINA DYNAMICA's Teleportation Tweak

MACHINA DYNAMICA's Teleportation Tweak

Long-Distance Audio System Upgrade


The Teleportation Tweak is the extraordinary new product from Machina Dynamica. The Teleportation Tweak is an advanced communications technique discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for upgrading audio systems remotely, even over very long distances. The Teleportation Tweak is performed during a phone call to Machina Dynamica; the tweak itself takes about 30 seconds. The call can be made via landline phone or cell phone.

Remarkably, the Teleportation Tweak is independent of distance and signal transmission medium, thus will work anywhere in the world. The "tapping signals" transmitted over the phone will not attenuate even over great distances. So far, the Teleportation Tweak has been successfully demonstrated for distances up to 4000 miles (6500 km). While not absolutely necessary, the customer's audio system can be warmed up prior to the phone call if A/B testing the Teleportation Tweak is desired.

The effects of the Teleportation Tweak are instantaneous and the improvement to the sound will be audible immediately. The Teleportation Tweak excels in layering, texture, inner detail, air and that you-are-there presence of real music. Bonus: The picture quality of any video system will also be improved! The Teleportation Tweak works over landline phone or cell phone. Customer should pay via Paypal or check/MO prior to calling Machina Dynamica. Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak $60.

 

[Adam]

Amazing. Just utterly amazing. I think my major handicap in the world of ripping people off is that I'm too grounded in reality - I just can't even think of this stuff. Ahhh, to prey on the stupid. Maybe that'll be next year's resolution.

 

[mike c]

isn't there some sort of law against selling BS?

 

[johndoe]

I think there is no need to continue the Turkey of the Year competition since this far outdoes anything else. I wonder how many tweaks they actually sell...

 

[markw]

That's the beauty and horror of his hobby.

Some people are so willing to believe that anything can make a difference are willing to pay big bucks (or, as in this case, a few) in hte hopes that it will make even a teeny, tiny difference.

And, having paid out greenbacks (or whatever you call your currency), promptly convince themselves that they actually did hear a difference.

...and thus a new myth is born.

I still like the $400 dollar wooden knob with mafgical varnish on it myself...

I do have one question, though, If I did it from my cell phone in the car, will it noticibly improve my car radio?

 

[Buckeye_Nut]

LOL.... I feel tempted to bait the hook by sending them an email to inquire about their ground breaking services just to see how, and in what fashion, they respond.

Cutting & pasting the correspondence might be quite entertaining indeed!!

 

[Seth=L]

WOW, gosh people are stupid. The reviews are the most fake I have seen.

"Hallo Geoff Kait, this tweak is really amazing! I have no idea how it works, but it works! My high resolution equipment, which is highly tuned and working fantastically, broke new ground. My Kharma loudspeakers are singing like never before. Everything is faster, with more open stage, more music, less analytical. This tweak is even stronger than the two "Clever Little Clocks" I own! Please tell me: How does it work? What is happening in my house?!!" - Germany, June 2007

This "German" has perfect English form, how strange.

 

[Adam]

WOW, gosh people are stupid. The reviews are the most fake I have seen.

This "German" has perfect English form, how strange.

I'm not going to argue in any way that those reviews are real, but it's not hard to believe that a German could speak (well, write) very good English.

 

[Seth=L]

I'm not going to argue in any way that those reviews are real, but it's not hard to believe that a German could speak (well, write) very good English.

If think it is pretty typical for them to mix up words or use words that are direct translations of their language. Since most foreign people that learn English, it is a secondary language. I guess it is a possibility, but I still think the whole thing is fake.

 

[Adam]

If think it is pretty typical for them to mix up words or use words that are direct translations of their language. Since most foreign people that learn English, it is a secondary language. I guess it is a possibility, but I still think the whole thing is fake.

Ahhh, but remember - we are dealing with the upper echelon of intelligence, class, and education here. Those are the people buying this product, right?

 

[Seth=L]

Ahhh, but remember - we are dealing with the upper echelon of intelligence, class, and education here. Those are the people buying this product, right?

You are absolutely correct, I had forgoten we were talking about a superior people......, no, not the Aryan race, the race of audiophiles.

 

[MDS]

You guys just don't get it do you?

All of these devices have secret codes built in to their various processing chips and if you can send it the magic sequence of tones to unlock the special features it vastly improves the sound quality. These extra special features are not for J6P - they are solely for those 'in the know'.

Note that the above is total B.S., just like this 'tweak'.

 

[Geno]

You guys just don't get it do you?

All of these devices have secret codes built in to their various processing chips and if you can send it the magic sequence of tones to unlock the special features it vastly improves the sound quality. These extra special features are not for J6P - they are solely for those 'in the know'.

Note that the above is total B.S., just like this 'tweak'.

B.S.= Barbra Streissand, right? Hey, if it weren't true, they wouldn't be allowed to print it, would they?

 

[stratman]

I think there is no need to continue the Turkey of the Year competition since this far outdoes anything else. I wonder how many tweaks they actually sell...

This could be a winner, we should change the post to the Turkey of the Year thread so we can vote. I'd like to have a winner by Thanksgiving.

 

[Seth=L]

I see you found it Strat.

 

[Seth=L]

You guys just don't get it do you?

All of these devices have secret codes built in to their various processing chips and if you can send it the magic sequence of tones to unlock the special features it vastly improves the sound quality. These extra special features are not for J6P - they are solely for those 'in the know'.

Note that the above is total B.S., just like this 'tweak'.

I bet B0SE has all kinds of secret codes to unlock the mysterious SQ of their components.

 

[Tomorrow]

isn't there some sort of law against selling BS?

No! All the nurseries around here sell the stuff. I just didn't know they were into audio as well as manure.

 

[mike c]

If think it is pretty typical for them to mix up words or use words that are direct translations of their language. Since most foreign people that learn English, it is a secondary language. I guess it is a possibility, but I still think the whole thing is fake.

hey! Me talk english good! me not secondary citizen!

 

[masak_aer]

I'm not going to argue in any way that those reviews are real, but it's not hard to believe that a German could speak (well, write) very good English.

They meant German(town), MD.

 

[Seth=L]

hey! Me talk english good! me not secondary citizen!

(seth violently points in Mike's general direction)

"OMG, he is an audiophile, quick...hurt him!"