Isn't it time for parents to stop raising idiots?

[Push]

Really?

Really, really, really, REALLY. If you haven't raised children, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO. Period. It can't be learned in a book. It can't be researched on the internet. You can't see it on Dr.Phil. So your opinion is worthless. Its like giving an opinion on the correct techinic of open heart surgery when you are a burger flipper at MacDonalds.

 

[Trell]

Really, really, really, REALLY. If you haven't raised children, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO. Period. It can't be learned in a book. It can't be researched on the internet. You can't see it on Dr.Phil. So your opinion is worthless. Its like giving an opinion on the correct techinic of open heart surgery when you are a burger flipper at MacDonalds.

That is quite simply false. You come off as a belligerent and very narrow minded person.

 

[cpp]

If you were a kid in the '50s and early-'60s, you should remember the reason we were always outside- we had three TV stations and they were in black & white! Now, parents have decided that they aren't the ones who should motivate their kids, it's apparently the job of the schools.

I was a kid back then.,( born 1952) We were sent outside and told to be home at dark. I guess we were brought up in a great neighborhood as all the parents knew where all the kids were. Be it playing football, basketball or baseball, or riding gocarts, or bikes or building forts the whole group just got along. Plus we all had parnets that if we got into trouble, bend over its your time. Plus all these families were "families" where you ate togther, went to Sunday School even if you didn't want to, you still went. Plus the parents all were active in our schools and our homework. Life was so good back then, in my opinion for kids.

 

[cpp]

If the parents are idiots, does that make their kids 'idiot²'?

Nope, plenty of horrible parents that their kids with some intervention by relatives turned out pretty good, college educations, but there has to be intervention or they will go to the dark side.

 

[highfigh]

Nope, plenty of horrible parents that their kids with some intervention by relatives turned out pretty good, college educations, but there has to be intervention or they will go to the dark side.

As little as I trust many people and as disappointing I find people in general, I still don't think all are bad. I see potential, but that's the main reason I'm disappointed- I hear and see people saying "I can't", "I didn't have this or that when I was growing up", "It's not my fault", etc but none of those are true. If someone physically can't do something, it's obviously not the same as when someone just can't be bothered to try. If someone doesn't know how to do something, they often don't try to find a way and this is disappointing because it's so easy to find information. IMO, colleges, HS guidance councilors and parents have done a piss poor job of delivering real world info and managing the expectations of kids who have some pie in the sky ideas about their future after studying something that won't remotely get them a decent job that comes close to supporting a cat. Do they all go to the dark side, not necessarily, but they can become bitter and angry if things don't go their way. That can lead to bad things, just not as quickly.

 

[Push]

That is quite simply false. You come off as a belligerent and very narrow minded person.

Said someone who has never raised children of their own. I've raised 5 of my own, plus 2 strays that my kids drug home when they were having a tough time with their own families. One thing I can say for certain is that if an 8th child happened into my life, I would have to restart the learning process all over again. While there are some basics that remain true from child to child (feed them, clothe them, change them, bathe them), each child needs a different hand in raising. Raising children is the single most important job that someone can do, and if you honestly believe that a book, a video or even a degree prepares you for child rearing, you're living in a dream world. Hell, my 7 don't even qualify me to have an opinion on someone else's children. So when I see a parent doing something I may not agree with, I keep my yap shut because I don't know that child, nor do I know the circumstances of their family life. So belligerent, maybe. Narrow minded? Not at all. Wise enough to know that I don't know everything about children, unlike those who have never raised one of their own.

 

[highfigh]

I was a kid back then.,( born 1952) We were sent outside and told to be home at dark. I guess we were brought up in a great neighborhood as all the parents knew where all the kids were. Be it playing football, basketball or baseball, or riding gocarts, or bikes or building forts the whole group just got along. Plus we all had parnets that if we got into trouble, bend over its your time. Plus all these families were "families" where you ate togther, went to Sunday School even if you didn't want to, you still went. Plus the parents all were active in our schools and our homework. Life was so good back then, in my opinion for kids.

Ah, the dulcet sounds of "This hurts me more than it hurts you".

Being a kid in the '60s was often great- as they say, "it was a more innocent time" and that's true. It was also like the Dark ages, in some ways.

I was hanging out with some friends one late-Fall evening when I was about 9 years old and didn't go home when the street lights came on. A squad car rolled up and the officer asked for my name and when I told him, he said "Get in". We were friends with a family and the dad was a cop- my mom called them to ask if they had seen me, so they called the PD, the dispatcher put out a call for someone to cruise the neighborhood and find me. We weren't getting into trouble, but it's a small suburb (it was considered a village at the time) and it was before we needed 'phone trees' to find people. Other than "WHERE WERE YOU??????????", it was just a matter of being late for dinner.

 

[Trell]

Said someone who has never raised children of their own.

And how do you know that I don’t have any children? You don’t, of course, but that won’t stop you from spewing anti-intellectual nonsense.

 

[SithZedi]

Here's some interesting thoughts on parenting more on the side of Fatherhood. Obama was heavily criticized for some of these quotes by members of his own party but give credit where credit is due.

“What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child — it’s the courage to raise one.” ― Father’s Day speech, Apostolic Church of God in Chicago, 2008

“As fathers, we need to be involved in our children’s lives not just when it’s convenient or easy, and not just when they’re doing well — but when it’s difficult and thankless, and they’re struggling. That is when they need us most.” ― Op-ed in Parade magazine, 2009

“We need to show our kids that you’re not strong by putting other people down — you’re strong by lifting them up. That’s our responsibility as fathers.” ― Father’s Day speech, Apostolic Church of God in Chicago, 2008

“It’s up to us to say to our daughters, don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals.” ― Father’s Day speech, Apostolic Church of God in Chicago, 2008

“It’s up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we give glory to achievement, self-respect and hard work. It’s up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.” ― Father’s Day speech, Apostolic Church of God in Chicago, 2008

“Michelle and I know that our first job, our first responsibility, is instilling a sense of learning, a sense of a love of learning in our kids. And so there are no shortcuts there; we have to do that job. And we can’t just blame teachers and schools if we’re not instilling that commitment, that dedication to learning, in our kids.” ― Remarks on No Child Left Behind flexibility, 2011

“I’m still practicing, I’m still learning, still getting corrected in terms of how to be a fine husband and a good father. But I will tell you this: Everything else is unfulfilled if we fail at family, if we fail at that responsibility.”

"There were times in my youth, I wrongly blamed my own failings as just another example of the world trying to keep a black man down. We've got no time for excuses — not because the bitter legacies of slavery and segregation have vanished entirely; they haven't. It's just that in today's hyperconnected, hypercompetitive world, with a billion young people from China and India and Brazil entering the global workforce alongside you, nobody is going to give you anything you haven't earned."
― Morehouse College Commencement speech, 2013

“Whether biological, foster, or adoptive, they teach us through the encouragement they give, the questions they answer, the limits they set, and the strength they show in the face of difficulty and hardship.” ― Father’s Day proclamation , 2012

“Every father bears a fundamental obligation to do right by their children.” ― Father’s Day proclamation, 2012

“In the end, that’s what being a parent is all about — those precious moments with our children that fill us with pride and excitement for their future, the chances we have to set an example or offer a piece of advice, the opportunities to just be there and show them that we love them.” ― Father’s Day address, 2011

“Above all, children need our unconditional love — whether they succeed or make mistakes; when life is easy and when life is tough.” ― Father’s Day address , 2011

 

[Push]

And how do you know that I don’t have any children? You don’t, of course, but that won’t stop you from spewing anti-intellectual nonsense.

From your posts, the offense you've taken from my original post leads me to believe you have no children of your own, and either possess or currently are working on some sort of program or degree that deals with children. Of course, I may be wrong, just educated guesses, but one thing I am not wrong on is my original post. BTW, I have two separate degrees, so I'm not anti-intellectual. I just know when the intellectuals shoukd keep their mouths shut.

 

[Trell]

From your posts, the offense you've taken from my original post leads me to believe you have no children of your own, and either possess or currently are working on some sort of program or degree that deals with children. Of course, I may be wrong, just educated guesses, but one thing I am not wrong on is my original post. BTW, I have two separate degrees, so I'm not anti-intellectual. I just know when the intellectuals shoukd keep their mouths shut.

I actually do have a child. The offense I take with you is your belligerence and the inane claim that only people that recently has raised a child have anything of value to say.

 

[Mikado463]

I was a kid back then.,( born 1952) We were sent outside and told to be home at dark. I guess we were brought up in a great neighborhood as all the parents knew where all the kids were. Be it playing football, basketball or baseball, or riding gocarts, or bikes or building forts the whole group just got along. Plus we all had parnets that if we got into trouble, bend over its your time. Plus all these families were "families" where you ate togther, went to Sunday School even if you didn't want to, you still went. Plus the parents all were active in our schools and our homework. Life was so good back then, in my opinion for kids.

and Chris seeing that we are only a year apart, when that dinner bell rang you had 5 minutes to be home , washed up and seated at the table !

 

[cpp]

and Chris seeing that we are only a year apart, when that dinner bell rang you had 5 minutes to be home , washed up and seated at the table !

Oh yes. Those were the days. My wife still follows those rules LOLOLOL

 

[Push]

I actually do have a child. The offense I take with you is your belligerence and the inane claim that only people that recently has raised a child have anything of value to say.

Perhaps I was a little strong on the recent parenthood statement, although most parents of the 60s and 70s do not even remotely comprehend the current sad state of affairs of government and "intellectuals" meddling in the affairs of parents who are trying to raise their children.

I stand by what I say about non-parents and supposed intellectuals. They may accidentally say something of use once in awhile, but mostly they are just full of hot air and want to hear themselves speak their "educated" views while wasting the time of parents who need to get back to raising their children.

 

[Teetertotter?]

Well, what is disciplining your child in the past 20+years?? None. What parent teach their child responsibility, take ownership, teach morals........etc. What parents have any values at all. How many children have only a SINGLE parent and that parent has to work or not. Are most of current and last generation parents lacking any pride? Would you like me to go on and on? Do you know how much is drug related in our society?? Alcohol or otherwise.

Wife and I are retired 78 and 79 with children, grand children, great grandchildren with married families intact over the years. Some don't see things as my wife and I do all the time, but is that good or bad?

I retired in 2008 and in 2009 through 2019, I had volunteered in 3 elementary schools or 32 hours a week, in low income and middle income districts, for 5 years. I volunteered at a Boys/Girls Club for 8 years, 3 days after schools a week, volunteer driver for Veterans Homeless/Rehab shelter 2 years - 2-3 mornings a week, and volunteered for 5 years at our county YWCA Women's Domestic Violence Shelter w children. MENTORING IS NEEDED IN TODAYS WORLD. O, CASA[County Appointed Special Advocate] for two years, having to do with neglected parents and their children being fostered.

So, any of you want to try and make it a better world for the less fortunate children/parents upbringing.........for example? Be a mentor for some child or children! Big Bros/Sisters is a place needing Mentor volunteers too. Depending, you might make an impact on some parent too. Times have changed the past 30 years..................why..........you ask................How can I make a difference, under the circumstances?

 

[lovinthehd]

I wasn't going to get involved in this thread, but what the hell...

First: If you don't have children, or haven't raised children, your opinion on how to raise children and what the problem with children is, isn't worth SPIT. Not worth the breath you used to carry the vibrations forth. So do the world a favour and shut your yap, at least when it comes to raising kids. Ditto if you haven't raised your children in the last 30 years. Its a different world.

Second: Its not quite as easy as picking out one cause, because there isn't one single cause unless you say this: SOCIETY. Period. End of story. Children look around and see nothing but unhappiness, drugs, financial concerns, violence. It screams at them from devices and from TV and the radio, from people in bus stops, and from billboards. Ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Both parents have to work now in order to provide a home in a decent neighborhood. Single parents have to work two jobs or get inventive on living arrangements. Do you blame these people for being tired after getting home and making supper and cleaning up? I sure as hell don't. But then you have some dummy flapping their gums about absent parents, the kid hears this and then resentment builds. Sometimes. Some of the nicest kids I know come from single parent homes, where the primary caregiver has to work two jobs.

Discipline is gone from schools. It was eradicated in the 90s and 2000s by liberal nonsense. The idea that sticking a kid into "timeout" was plenty sufficent punishment for the worst of crimes. That teachers are no longer allowed to give detention. That every child deserves a 1st place trophy, even if they finish dead last. Some truly excellent teachers that I know can't wait for retirement because of the current batch of rules and idiocy they have to follow on a daily basis. Its too bad, because some of my favourite memories of growing up were of EDUCATORS who were allowed to do their jobs.

Drugs are now mainstream. Society and potheads teach us that its ok for 14 year olds to smoke weed and get high as kites. Forget the studies that show (I won't say prove, because there are still some whose opinions differ) that cannabis and other drugs, including some prescription drugs, and alcohol, are shown to trigger latent mental health issues in those whose brains are still developing.

I could on and on, and I'm sure piss off just about everyone on the site. So I'll stop now. But if you want to fix whats wrong with kids these days, fix SOCIETY. Its not JUST video games. Its not JUST bad parenting. There is no tab A that fits into slot B answer.

So your part of society is blameless/not involved? I think you're mixing up your personal politics with what actually happens. So how many generations of children have you raised?

 

[Push]

So your part of society is blameless/not involved? I think you're mixing up your personal politics with what actually happens. So how many generations of children have you raised?

Im not entirely certain how you came to the conclusion that I don't blame some parents for their poor choices and their poor parenting. But there have been poor parents for millenia, some kids turned out fine, some ended up being serial killers. But its not always just "poor parents" that cause their children to end being little murdering bastards. Its much more complicated than that.

My first child was born 30 years ago. My last child is now 15. It was much easier to raise my older children 30 yrs ago, even though I was young and inexperienced, than it is now. Somewhere during the last 30 years schools no longer hold back children who aren't doing well. This is thanks to some genius with a book who has decided it is harmful to the child's psyche to be held back. You know whats damaging to their psyche? Going into Gr.10 with the literacy skills of a 10 yr old. Thats damaging. Everyone gets the same trophy. Again some genius with a book made this call. So now there is no incentive to do well, nothing for a child to aspire to.

At some point during that 30 yrs, disciplining a child was deemed harmful to the child. Even verbal discipline is frowned upon. Our teachers aren't allowed to give out detention. There are no consequences to poor decisions that the children may make, nothing to tell them that they've done something wrong. You know what kept my redneck ass in line during school? The threat of lord helmet McKeckran and that big studded strap he kept behind his desk. That made me think two or three times before I did something I shouldn't. But whiny parents and more intellectuals with books decided that was damaging to precious Johnny.

During that 30 yrs of child rearing, University switched from being something a child aspired to, dreamed of, worked hard for, to something that everyone is entitled to, as long as their parents could afford to foot the bill.

In that 30 yrs, I've seen the legalization of marijuana, green cards being handed out to 12 yr olds by quack doctors for "treating" behavioural problems. Now I'm seeing the decriminalization of some truly dangerous drugs such as fentanol, coke and meth, through logic that defies the imagination. I can't even imagine what my children will have to deal with when they start raising their own families.

I've watched gas prices go from 33 cents/litre to the current 2 bucks a litre, I've watched my bills increase tenfold, taxes increase staggering amounts while my wages didn't follow suit. And I'm lucky. I raised my family on a ranch thats been in my family for a hundred years. No mortgage to worry about, and a land rental income to supplement my wage. I can't even imagine the struggle of a single parent in the city, trying to pay rent, feed children, and just keep alive.

Anyway, I've rambled on plenty. So no, I do not excuse poor parenting, but there are many, many, many more factors involved.

 

[Dude#1279435]

At some point during that 30 yrs, disciplining a child was deemed harmful to the child. Even verbal discipline is frowned upon. Our teachers aren't allowed to give out detention. There are no consequences to poor decisions that the children may make, nothing to tell them that they've done something wrong. You know what kept my redneck ass in line during school? The threat of lord helmet McKeckran and that big studded strap he kept behind his desk. That made me think two or three times before I did something I shouldn't. But whiny parents and more intellectuals with books decided that was damaging to precious Johnny.

Think there might be a decent reason teachers got rid of that strap.

 

[Dude#1279435]

Don't these types of threads kind of sum up as I'm old and cynical and the world is falling apart when it actually might not be. It seems to me, as a starting point, at least in a two-parent home, that it's the job of the parents to be involved in what's going on at their school, the activities their children partake in etc. Sure, it sounds good to say teachers aren't going their jobs anymore and discipling their students, but how do you know that's the case? Or do you want them to parent for you?

 

[Trell]

Don't these types of threads kind of sum up as I'm old and cynical and the world is falling apart when it actually might not be. It seems to me, as a starting point, at least in a two-parent home, that it's the job of the parents to be involved in what's going on at their school, the activities their children partake in etc. Sure, it sounds good to say teachers aren't going their jobs anymore and discipling their students, but how do you know that's the case? Or do you want them to parent for you?

Every generation complains.

14 Historical Complaints About Young People Ruining Everything

Nothing is certain in this life but death, taxes, and the existence in every generation of fuddy-duddies who carp about things not being what they used to be.

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