Golf Stories, anyone?

[Buckeye_Nut]

Are there any golf junkies out there who want to share "TALL" golf tales?

Both the heroic and hilarious are welcome!! Oftentimes the funny ones are the best of all!!

As someone who plays more than 100 rounds/yr, I have plenty of both....LOL

I'll kick things off with 'heroic' because I experienced a rare event recently. I was playing a wimpy par-5(only 467yds), but it's a really tight hole. I realize it's only a par-4 by PGA standards, but c'mon... I'm a weekend hack!!

This hole is especially tight off the tee........... and the green is very small and surrounded by hazard. A river makes a "U" that fronts the green/left & right around the green so anything short, left, or right is gone. Anything long finds flowerbeds and landscaping!! The hole design basically begs for a wedge approach, if you know what I mean.

After many disasters under my belt on this hole, I generally don't go for it in 2 unless I'm inside of 200yds because of the small target because there is little room for error.

A week ago, I managed a good drive, and I only had 170 to the hole. Definite "go range"!! From there, I managed to hit the stick on the first hop, and the ball dropped to within 12".... then draino for a 3.....

Aaaaaahh..... ya gotta love those miracles... It was my 2nd eagle of 2007.

Does anyone have any tall tales or funny stories to share? Lord knows I have some funny ones too that I'll share...LOL

C'mon.... surely anybody who plays golf has a good tale to share, right?

 

[highfihoney]

Yup, i got one.

I travel around the country alot for my work,while stuck working in another state with nothing interesting to keep us occupied in our off hours a co worker of mine suggested we go play golf,he is an avid golfer,im not & i suck at it but i go anyways,the course we went to had a driving range so he thought it best we hit some balls first so i could learn how to swing.

My first swing i think i bent the club i hit the ground so hard it was all down hill after that,the second swing i never even hit the ball but dug up a huge chunk of earth that went flying ,now im preparing to try & hit the ball a third time when i notice a group of hot girls smacking the he!! out of their balls,most of them are watching me make an a$$ out of myself,now im really self conscience

Ive now circled the ball about 5 times like a cat trying to scare up a mouse,fix my eyes on the ball,concentrate REAL HARD & let er rip,the club fly's out of my hands at 200 mph & lands with a thud!. All the girls laughed at me & were pointing,i had enough, i kicked over my bucket of balls ,told my co worker to stick it up his a~~ & stormed off .

After i was over my little hissy fit we decided on doing something i was good at so we went to the bar & got hammered

 

[stratman]

I wouldn't call my self a golfer, not by a long shot (no pun intended), but years ago I was out with a girl who had her mind set on goony-golf. Well we head on out to the "golf course", I remember I got my first putt through the legs of T-Rex without a hitch, great, so much fun, then the windmill, oooooh! "look it" the ball roll through the windmill. She? Well let's just say she was banging the ball around trying to figure out what to do, I wasn't helping. I actually was getting annoyed that I was talked into this fiasco. It seems I wasn't the only one annoyed that sweaty humid Miami night. As hair-brained hanna tries to putt through the windmill, a blue-shelled land crab the size of a bowling ball comes out from his cave. As the ball rolls in front of him, he swings with his claw and grabs it, he takes off with ball in claw while posturing threats with his other claw. I thought, well maybe hair-brain will freak out seeing the half-mad rabid crab and want to leave to do something more interesting (my plan from the git-go), nope, she picked up her putter and went after the crab, she looked just as rabid as the crab. By this time parents with their kids had stopped playing and where aghast at the scenario unfolding before their eyes, a land crab who looked to be on steroids holding a golf ball in one claw while running for his life, right behind him a young woman swinging a club trying to whack the life from Mr. Crab. The chase ensued for about ten minutes, going from windmill to T-Rex to haunted house and various themed targets untill Mr. Crab gave up, exhausted he dropped the ball and headed for the nearest hole he could find. That was my first and last experience with a golf ball, a crab and a derranged woman playing nightime goony-golf.

 

[auge.dog]

I can't beat the crab story, but I will be moving to Ohio shortly, so if you're interested Buckeye Nut, I'd be more than interested in joining you for some golf. I play about 50 rounds or so/year, and therefore also have some good stories.

I remember several years ago, playing with my girlfriend (now my wife), and a friend of ours. He's a pretty mediocre player, but he had hit a good drive on this particular hole and was in the middle of the fairway, about 150 out. Anyway, a fox walks out from the woods and approaches his ball. It was like he was stalking it. We started running at the fox to try to make him go away. Well, he went away all right, . . . after he picked up my friends ball and headed back into the woods.

I'm not sure what the ruling on that would be, but we laughed pretty hard.

 

[The Dukester]

Couple of funny ones.
My brother, his son and I were playing a couple of years ago at Myrtle Beach. My nephew loves beef jerky. He had a new bag of his favortie brand with him that day....for awhile, anyway. Seems the jerky was in this nice, shiny foil bag. A crow happened by and saw it gleaming in the sun. It decided to land on the golf cart, reach in and grab the bag and fly off while my nephew was teeing off. Then he really got teed off

I was playing a round with three friends once. There was one fairway that had a nice sized pond on the left and a small creek on the right. I addressed the ball and tried to grip it and rip it as it was a par five. Well, when I looked up, the ball was bounding...did I say bounding? I meant dribbling down the right side and my driver head was tumbling through the air at 45 degrees left. The ball wound up in the creek and the club head landed right about the middle of the pond. My friends wound up laying down on the tee box laughing. They were taking bets on which went further, the ball or the head Gee, talk about a water hazzard

 

[highfihoney]

I thought, well maybe hair-brain will freak out seeing the half-mad rabid crab and want to leave to do something more interesting (my plan from the git-go)

You gotta admit though, the nut job girls were the most fun to hang with,as long as they were not talking,the trick is to keep their mouth full

 

[stratman]

You gotta admit though, the nut job girls were the most fun to hang with,as long as they were not talking,the trick is to keep their mouth full

That's so true! BTW she was a handful.

 

[Tomorrow]

I wouldn't call my self a golfer, not by a long shot (no pun intended), but years ago I was out with a girl who had her mind set on goony-golf. Well we head on out to the "golf course", I remember I got my first putt through the legs of T-Rex without a hitch, great, so much fun, then the windmill, oooooh! "look it" the ball roll through the windmill. She? Well let's just say she was banging the ball around trying to figure out what to do, I wasn't helping. I actually was getting annoyed that I was talked into this fiasco. It seems I wasn't the only one annoyed that sweaty humid Miami night. As hair-brained hanna tries to putt through the windmill, a blue-shelled land crab the size of a bowling ball comes out from his cave. As the ball rolls in front of him, he swings with his claw and grabs it, he takes off with ball in claw while posturing threats with his other claw. I thought, well maybe hair-brain will freak out seeing the half-mad rabid crab and want to leave to do something more interesting (my plan from the git-go), nope, she picked up her putter and went after the crab, she looked just as rabid as the crab. By this time parents with their kids had stopped playing and where aghast at the scenario unfolding before their eyes, a land crab who looked to be on steroids holding a golf ball in one claw while running for his life, right behind him a young woman swinging a club trying to whack the life from Mr. Crab. The chase ensued for about ten minutes, going from windmill to T-Rex to haunted house and various themed targets untill Mr. Crab gave up, exhausted he dropped the ball and headed for the nearest hole he could find. That was my first and last experience with a golf ball, a crab and a derranged woman playing nightime goony-golf.

Ah, the day. I used to play a lot. Then I discovered what Winston Churchill opined. "Golf is but a stroll ruined." (A costly stroll, at that.)

S-man, that was funny! Thank goodness I never had a date that had crabs attacking her balls.

 

[stratman]

Ah, the day. I used to play a lot. Then I discovered what Winston Churchill opined. "Golf is but a stroll ruined." (A costly stroll, at that.)

S-man, that was funny! Thank goodness I never had a date that had crabs attacking her balls.

LOL, better crabs attacking her than me and blue crabs at that!

 

[Mudcat]

I Got Three

I've played only maybe 5 times in the last 15 years (in fact my whole life - 50 yrs). But I caddied a lot in my youth, enough to buy a corvette one summer (late 70s); so I think I learned some and remembered some. I even though I don't play I go driving ranges. So, I really can hit the ball a country mile. Sometimes even straight. Anway...

GS #1 - First time in my life playing a full round, I was playing with a buddy who according to said buddy had a 3 or 4 handicap. He played like too - under par all the way. Me I shot an 88 for my first time ever playing. Course was Twin Lakes in Fairfax county VA.

GS #2 - Second time - Hains Point in DC with the same buddy and my brother in law who has a negitive handicap. Don't remember anything about the game, all I remember was we were all stone. I saw a grounds keeper watering something. From our vantage point all we could see was his hand at his crotch and a firehose steam of water shooting out for about 60 feet. One of those you had to be there things.

GS #3 - Same buddy back at Twin Lakes- fourth time playing (I think). Par three over water I hit the ball within a foot or two of the pin. My buddy hits his over the green into some trees. He manages to save par. Me, I ten putt. The very next hole is a par four along a lake that you chip over at the end to get on the green. Probably about 400 + yards. Anyway he's still laughing about my putting on the previous green hard enough to hit it into the water. Me, I'm angry so I drive the green. So there I am on the green in one on a par 4, waiting for my buddy to take his third shot (actually his second but I think the ball in the water cost a stroke or something like that). He still manages to save par and I ten putt again

 

[Buckeye_Nut]

a land crab who looked to be on steroids holding a golf ball in one claw while running for his life, right behind him a young woman swinging a club trying to whack the life from Mr. Crab. The chase ensued for about ten minutes, going from windmill to T-Rex to haunted house and various themed targets untill Mr. Crab gave up, exhausted he dropped the ball and headed for the nearest hole he could find. That was my first and last experience with a golf ball, a crab and a derranged woman playing nightime goony-golf.

LOL....

Did you see the video clip from the 17th at the TPC Sawgrass? During a PGA event on a nationally televised broadcast, a seagull picked up a players golf ball that was at rest on the 17th island green, it picked it up, flew off with it in it's beak, and dropped it in the lake.

Bwahahaha..... Needless to say, the player was allowed to replace the ball without penalty.

This is the video clip.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uXZ3_A2nGs

 

[stratman]

I tell you, even to this day I can't forget that night. After the "golf" outing was over, I had a hard time explaining the story.

 

[Buckeye_Nut]

I will be moving to Ohio shortly, so if you're interested Buckeye Nut, I'd be more than interested in joining you for some golf.

Anyway, a fox walks out from the woods and approaches his ball. It was like he was stalking it. We started running at the fox to try to make him go away. Well, he went away all right, . . . after he picked up my friends ball and headed back into the woods.

I'm not sure what the ruling on that would be, but we laughed pretty hard.

I love those stories!!

What part of Ohio? I'm a former Columbus area resident, but I live in the Kansas City area now. I list my residence as "buckeye nation", but as a buckeye fan, "Buckeye Nation" can be anywhere on planet Earth.

I've played well over 100 golf courses in Ohio, so I should be able to give you the 'low down' on a bunch of Ohio courses built prior to 2000. (especially central ohio)

As for interesting golf run-ins with wildlife?? I once had a run-in with a 6 foot long Komodo Dragon while playing golf in Malaysia. That muther was huge!! Needless to say, I gave myself free relief away from the beast and abandoned my golf ball I hear their bite is a very nasty one indeed. There were also monkeys living free in the trees. (as common as seeing squirrels running loose in the USA)

I didn't want to test the patience of "one of these". This poor little monkey is having a very bad day!! I'm not sure, but I think that photo is of a monkey being pulled from a tree by a Kamodo dragon.

And no... I didnt take the photo at the golf course It's just something I pulled off the web.




PS... golf is very cheap in Malaysia!!
http://www.99venus.net/m/golf/bukitjambul/index.php
This is where I played, and it was a very fun experience. Of course, it costs a fortune to fly there, but once you arrive, it's an inexpensive, beautiful, and exotic place for a visit.

Hands down, this was easily the most exotic place I have ever played golf.

 

[Buckeye_Nut]

I've played only maybe 5 times in the last 15 years (in fact my whole life - 50 yrs).

I never took up the game until I was in my mid 20's, but then I was hooked. It wasn't until after college when I joined the workforce that I was introduced to the game.

A co-worker "convinced" me to go to the course, and I reluctantly accepted the invitation. I would just walk and 'whack' without putting any thought into each swing...LOL I played fast, and took a ton of strokes, but I was hooked from that point on because we had so much fun. I still remember that "1st round" in 1991 like it was yesterday. By 1993, I broke 80 for the first time. From there, future improvements s...l...o...w...e....d significantly. LOL

Since that time, I have returned that favor many times by introducing others to the game. Several of those have become lifelong golf addicts.... just like myself

 

[lcdguy]

ok so i am not really a golfer, but anyway the company i work for had a golf tournament. So i went. Well i guess you should know that i work in IT and what do we like to do at the end of a long day of golfing?

Playing bumpercars with the carts. One tip though in the future don't do it in front of the marshall or you'll get booted from the course

 

[Buckeye_Nut]

Playing bumpercars with the carts. One tip though in the future don't do it in front of the marshall or you'll get booted from the course

That's what happens when you mix beer with golf carts

I played in one such corporate outing plagued by ignorant events. Embarrassingly ....both incidents were caused by the "other cart" in my foursome. First off, the guy driving the other cart tried to drive across a WALKERS footbridge. I yelled at him to stop, but he didn't listen.

I thought to myself... what a bonehead!!

If you saw the bridge, you could easily see that it was only designed for pedestrian traffic. If that wasn't enough, the "NO CARTS" sign surely should have caught his attention!! Needless to say, they got it wedged in tight and stuck on the bridge between the handrails. We had to allow groups to play through until maintenance arrived with a vehicle to connect a tow cable to the cart and pull it off the bridge to free it from it's wedged confines.

Later, those same two individuals took a hard turn around a bend, lost control, and struck a stone retaining wall. The end result was the woman passenger in the cart was thrown from the cart & received road rash on one leg, and the front corner of the cart was smashed to hell. The driver was lucky the woman passenger wasnt seriously hurt.

Needless to say, their company outing never returned to that course.

I was embarrassed to be their guest........