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Tom Andry

Tom Andry

Speaker of the House
gene said:
Tom;
Also, I found a great use for exotic silver speaker cables that you failed to realize in your article. Last weekend I was moving a 51" RPTV and didn't have rope to tie it up to the UHaul. Instead, I took a pair of $2k silver speaker cables and used them as rope. While most audiophiles would die to have these cables in their setups, I found no use for them in my setup since they measured so poorly and had such mediocre terminations. I then pondered throwing them away until I realized what their true calling was; an alternative to rope! They got the job done, worked great and I will definitely be using them again during my move :rolleyes:
Gene, I hate to disagree but you kinda messed up there. The silver cable is an all right stand-in for rope but it is much better as a werewolf/vampire/undead deterrent. It has been also known to distract the wife long enough to make a hasty getaway during one of my more unfortunate answers to the dreaded “Does this make me look fat, honey,” questions. No, the best esoteric cable to use for rope is Translucent Audio's Jessica Alba Pole Dance Speaker Wire. Never heard of it? It’s very exclusive.

The thing is, after Sin City was released, a new substance was discovered at the corners of the mouths of men watching Jessica Alba in that movie. Apparently, it was the only thing keeping their lower jaw from literally hitting the floor. This substance, when properly refined, is stronger than steel, more conductive than plastic, and can stretch 25,793,254,895,648.02 times it’s original length (though for HT applications, a max of 2,000 times is suggested). It is sold in 1” increments for the stunningly reasonable price of $27k per inch (no discount for buying bulk). It’s tacky to the touch so no interconnects are needed. You just shove some into your receiver and stretch it to your speakers. The downsides:

1) All component, speakers, and anything in-between must be securely attached to the ground (or remarkably heavy…which means its good, right?) or unfortunate results may occur.

2) Dust, bugs, and other household filth readily stick to and reduce the measurable response of the cables (not that anyone would get it near their $100k measuring doodad thingy).

3) You need special gloves to handle it.

4) Only comes in translucent white.

5) Ewww…gross.​

Had you used this wire for rope, you could have stuck one end on a wagon, put the tv on the wagon, and stuck the other end to your bumper. It’s a rope, it’s a UHaul, it’s got birds and children stuck to it…it’s the ultimate tool!

OPRA (is that my son stuck to your speaker wire?)
 
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Audiosouse

Audiosouse

Audioholic
I'm sensing sarcasm. One of my talents is a knack for the obvious.

miklorsmith said:
Why is this garbage so expensive? Yeah, yeah, profit margins, blah blah blah. If a couple of visionaries could step up, we'd all have better stuff. For Cheapola!
They do exist and that's why we're here, to find out who they are.
The business motto will be "We're losing money, but we'll make it up in volume".
The Japanese built a very successful electronics industry doing that very thing. It's a model all business students are required to study.

Why doesn't this garbage sound like live music?
Because some audiophile will put a crap $3K esoteric cable in the signal path and F it up.
Of course, if they made it right nobody would need to upgrade, right? Hmmm. . .
Nice conspiracy theory!

OPRA RULES!
 
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Audiosouse

Audiosouse

Audioholic
gene said:
Also, I found a great use for exotic silver speaker cables that you failed to realize in your article. Last weekend I was moving a 51" RPTV and didn't have rope to tie it up to the UHaul. Instead, I took a pair of $2k silver speaker cables and used them as rope. While most audiophiles would die to have these cables in their setups, I found no use for them in my setup since they measured so poorly and had such mediocre terminations. I then pondered throwing them away until I realized what their true calling was; an alternative to rope! They got the job done, worked great and I will definately be using them again during my move :rolleyes:
Still the master. Say it like it is! Suger coating doesn't make life easier, it just makes desert.
 
RLA

RLA

Audioholic Chief
Oh wise one
I come to you humbly asking you to look in your crystal ball and tell me Should I choose the red Reebok’s or the blue Nikes. I know that the wrong selection could mean doom :D
 
Tom Andry

Tom Andry

Speaker of the House
RLA said:
Oh wise one
I come to you humbly asking you to look in your crystal ball and tell me Should I choose the red Reebok’s or the blue Nikes. I know that the wrong selection could mean doom :D
Proper footwear choice is ALWAYS a concern for the audio elite. EVERYONE who is ANYONE in this business knows the dramatic (yet unmeasurable) effect shoes have on the frequency response, soundstage, and, um, home theater fragrance. Loafers accentuate the highs and flatten the mids. Slippers (the fuzzy kind, mine have bunny ears) are a fairly good absorber of <60Hz but are directional so you have to make sure you point your feet toward the sub. Tennies are a good all around shoe as long as they don’t have those stupid spring lookin’ thingies in them (I totally didn’t jump any higher).

No, what you need to do is strategically place the shoes around your HT to even out your response. Need some bass trapping? Throw some fuzzy slippers in the corners. You may have to staple a few to the first reflection points as well. Room getting too dead, put a couple pairs of dress shoes (the kinds with the hard leather soles) sole side up around the room. You may have to experiment with placement on this one. For improving the soundstage, nothing works like switching out the floor spikes on your mains for itty-bitty tap shoes. You may have to go to a specialty shop for, um, dancing children (does anyone still tap anymore?) or you can order them direct from my online store www.OPRAistotallyrippingyouoff.edu. Enter the phrase “OPRA is an egomanical bastard” for a 2% discount and free shipping if you live…like…next door to me.

This does mean that you can never wear shoes in the HT but hey, a skunk doesn’t think he stinks right? I mean my feet don’t stink right honey? Honey? Hmm…she must have the flu or something. Oh well.

OPRA (red shoes are totally for girls dude, unless you’re Michael Jackson, and then they are still for girls but are worn anyways)
 
jaxvon

jaxvon

Audioholic Ninja
Choose any color of Newbalance and support jobs here in America!
 
Sheep

Sheep

Audioholic Warlord
Newbalance = Over priced


I need special shoes. I wear out souls (shoe) very fast, and I am flat footed.

Why? Cause I weigh 240 pounds. I have nike shox (got them for 100bucks which is a steal). The sales man said it is not wise that I purchase running shox shoes as the springs are too soft :eek: . Im 5'9" and I like long walks on the beach followed by candle light dinners......sorry. Why do I weigh so much? Don't know, probably from working out.

Now on topic.

Tom, you and mule are the most interesting people to listen to on this forum, hands down. This OPRA gig is perfect for you, and I know you will not let anyone down. (set the bar nice and high :p )


Sheep
 
R

RMK!

Guest
Sheep said:
Newbalance = Over priced


I need special shoes. I wear out souls (shoe) very fast, and I am flat footed.

Why? Cause I weigh 240 pounds. I have nike shox (got them for 100bucks which is a steal). The sales man said it is not wise that I purchase running shox shoes as the springs are too soft :eek: . Im 5'9" and I like long walks on the beach followed by candle light dinners......sorry. Why do I weigh so much? Don't know, probably from working out.

Now on topic.

Tom, you and mule are the most interesting people to listen to on this forum, hands down. This OPRA gig is perfect for you, and I know you will not let anyone down. (set the bar nice and high :p )


Sheep

Ah British Columbia, where men are men and sheep are nervous…well is ya?
 
jaxvon

jaxvon

Audioholic Ninja
Sheep said:
Newbalance = Over priced


I need special shoes. I wear out souls (shoe) very fast, and I am flat footed.

Why? Cause I weigh 240 pounds. I have nike shox (got them for 100bucks which is a steal). The sales man said it is not wise that I purchase running shox shoes as the springs are too soft :eek: . Im 5'9" and I like long walks on the beach followed by candle light dinners......sorry. Why do I weigh so much? Don't know, probably from working out.

Now on topic.

Tom, you and mule are the most interesting people to listen to on this forum, hands down. This OPRA gig is perfect for you, and I know you will not let anyone down. (set the bar nice and high :p )


Sheep
Regarding the shoes, I'd have to respectfully disagree. I paid around $60USD for my last pair of NewBalance shoes and they're still going strong....after 5 years. I've never had a pair of Nikes last more than 6 months. That, and they're always more expensive than NewBalance, made overseas, and don't come in anything but skinny width.
 
Sheep

Sheep

Audioholic Warlord
jaxvon said:
Regarding the shoes, I'd have to respectfully disagree. I paid around $60USD for my last pair of NewBalance shoes and they're still going strong....after 5 years. I've never had a pair of Nikes last more than 6 months. That, and they're always more expensive than NewBalance, made overseas, and don't come in anything but skinny width.

Well I do not agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death your right to say it :D

My feet are (just measured) 4 and a half inches wide. Skinny, maybe on some, but not these. I don't know how long nikes last for me, I always get new shoes in 6 months, Im kidda girlish that way. Im not saying newbalance are junk, But in canada, they are FREAKING expensive. My brother bought a pair and they were like, 150 bucks, and these were just plain jain.

Hidog1 (i think) I don't know what your are saying. Im a nervous man-sheep? I don't think there is many sheep here.......I bet I sound really stupid right now.
 
jaxvon

jaxvon

Audioholic Ninja
Well, at $150CAD I can understand why you wouldn't go for them. Yeah, they aren't all that flashy. It really sucks for our Northern Brethren, you all get reamed at the border on goods.

Edit: I just checked, and $60USD is about $70.22CAD. That's not unreasonable. Too bad they're not priced like that.
 
Sheep

Sheep

Audioholic Warlord
yeah, thats why we usually go to the states to buy shoes and clothes :)

One day, it will be even steven.



sheep
 
R

RMK!

Guest
Sheep said:
Well I do not agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death your right to say it :D

My feet are (just measured) 4 and a half inches wide. Skinny, maybe on some, but not these. I don't know how long nikes last for me, I always get new shoes in 6 months, Im kidda girlish that way. Im not saying newbalance are junk, But in canada, they are FREAKING expensive. My brother bought a pair and they were like, 150 bucks, and these were just plain jain.

Hidog1 (i think) I don't know what your are saying. Im a nervous man-sheep? I don't think there is many sheep here.......I bet I sound really stupid right now.
Sorry, that is New Zealand, not British Columbia.
Please accept my apology.
 
surveyor

surveyor

Audioholic Chief
Bad Beer

I would like to inquire of the Great Opra as follows:
Are farts supposed to be wet and lumpy?
Could the afore mentioned be a direct of Red Dog Beer??
 
Tom Andry

Tom Andry

Speaker of the House
surveyor said:
I would like to inquire of the Great Opra as follows:
Are farts supposed to be wet and lumpy?
Could the afore mentioned be a direct of Red Dog Beer??
Ah Grasshopper – you question is both gross and wise.

To the gross part – umm…sometimes.

To the wise part – you have identified one of the sources of much confusion in the universe. Many suspect beverages of the alcoholic persuasion to be the root of any number of evils (lewd and lascivious behavior, poor relationship decisions, the 70’s) but mostly those suspicions are false (or misguided). True, alcohol does lower inhibitions allowing some to act in a way they are normally inclined but are stopped by social mores, personal hang-ups, and little angel’s sitting on their shoulders but that doesn’t mean that alcohol is responsible for their actions.

One of the most prevalent alcohol related myths (or snake oil as it’s generally called around these parts) is that there are preventative measures one can take to reduce/eliminate God’s punishment for having fun, i.e. the hangover. The hangover or “oh my God, what the hell did I drink last night” as I like to call it is a necessary component of the alcohol related night of debauchery and debasement, or as I like to call it, “Tuesday.” There is no getting around it. If you happen to wake up without one when you know damn good and well you should have one, God skipped you. But don’t worry, you’ll get a double scoop next time (or He’ll put the idea in your head to start posting at the height of intoxication and nothing good ever comes out of that).

Nope, no getting around it – it’s as immutable as taxes and death. Now, there are ways to reduce the longevity of the experience as many of you are aware…unfortunately you are mostly wrong – not by any fault of your own but because you’ve been led astray by well meaning but misinformed friends and family. I few rules to live by:

1) Never EVER take any “miracle cure” drink from a friend – especially if it has a raw egg in it. They are either completely unaware to the fact that your throat will violently expel any such substance, or they are curious to see it happen.
2) That whole dehydration thing is totally crazy – how could you be dehydrated? You’ve been drinking all night.
3) “The hair of the dog that bit you” only works for hardcore drinkers who are looking for a leg up on the next night’s Bacchus inspired festivities. If you are planning to go to work, probably not such a good idea.
4) Lack of sugar is totally made up. If that was true all those captain and coke drinkers would be immune.
5) People who advocate eating greasy or fried food (preferably both, wrapped in bacon if at all possible) just want to eat greasy or fried food. You don’t have to be hungover to want that, just alive.
6) Don’t mix drinks (liquor before beer, or whatever – if I can’t remember it sober, how I am I gonna remember it drunk?). Not only is this impossible to remember, but everyone knows that nothing goes with beer better than hard liquor. And nothing goes with hard liquor like beer. And nothing goes with them both better than late night calls to the ex about how stupid you were and how you’ll never drink again. It’ll work this time, I promise.
7) Drinking yourself sober is impossible, I’ve tried. You can drink yourself asleep, or drink yourself to prison, or drink yourself to divorce – but not sober. Nope. Well, maybe a little more testing is in order.
8) Coffee – well this is more of a sobering tool than a hangover cure but it implies that caffeine is somehow more powerful than alcohol – and we all know that caffeine runs and hides like a turkey on Thanksgiving whenever alcohol comes in the room. Caffeine is alcohol’s bioch and everyone knows it…though, this does lead us into the only REAL hangover “treatment”:

I have one rule when it comes to long nights of liver shriveling, stomach pickling, bed spinning, three-tooth chick hitting on, consuming your body weight in alcohol mornings…The Three Sh*ts Rule. The Rule states that, until you take the requisite number of…um…you know…you will continue to be hungover. The faster you get past the magic number, the sooner the hangover will abate. And as all coffee drinkers know, there is nothing like a strong cup of joe to send you, cheeks clenched, to the nearest porcelain throne. Add a drag off a cig and a bran muffin, and you’re likely to need medical assistance.

So, to answer your questions in short: sometimes and yes.

OPRA (Anyone got the sport pages, I just had a venti)
 
Sheep

Sheep

Audioholic Warlord
I don't know how someone in the US could answer a beer question. :p


Canadian beer doesn't do that, but it does get you plastered. Compared to American water-beer...:p

The key to avoid Hangovers is this. Have a large muscle mass. If you can't do that in a day, drink a gatorade in-between drinks, a couple times. Your body can't absorbe water when you are hungover, so drinking it is usless, but if you have gatorade while drinking, it helps prevent the hangover.

Example:

When I was grad camping, I had 14 beers one night, and had 3 gatorades, woke up feeling fine and dandy.


Sheep
 
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furrycute

furrycute

Banned
With sneakers, I usually buy those $20/pair ones at pay-for-less, or Walmart. After about 6-8 months of intensive use, I'll just get another pair.

With shoes, I usually spend about $100/pair. They'll last me about 2 years with on and off use.
 
M

miklorsmith

Full Audioholic
hmmm. . .

Sometimes alcohol and caffeine are the best of friends. Ever heard of the fantastic "Red Bull and Vodka" drink "the kids" are so excited about? There's nothing greater than the rush of getting more and more awake as you're getting more and more loaded. You really get fired up for the next drink, 'cuz you're just gettin' started. Until you hit the 20 khz brickwall filter that is, around 4:48 a.m. Then, you crash. As in, 95 mph into the brick wall. If you're lucky, you'll sleep well into the afternoon and escape at some of the pain. If not, the only thing worse than a brutal liquor hangover is one that has been artificially enhanced by more hours of boozing AND a caffeine hangover element. Don't know about caffeine hangovers? Eat 8 no-doz tablets. You'll feel quite alert for a couple hours, followed by a slowly contracting brain. If you are unfamiliar with this phenomenon, it isn't fun. So, adding this part to the former creates a spectacular headstorm of destruction. But remember, bad hangovers are inversely proportional to how much fun you had, and we all like fun, right? And, the fun comes first like eating dessert before dinner so it can't be all bad. Well, it sure can be bad if what you did when having fun was illegal and you end up spending your hungover hours in prison. The lesson? When you plan on treating yourself to an evening of RB&V's, plan circumstances to reduce opportunities for prison time. One good way is to eat your car keys, planning to recover them by the "rule of threes" enumerated previously and initiated by gagging down the aforementioned venti latte.
 
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