Get Audio Advice from OPRA

[Audioholics]

<P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><A href="http://www.audioholics.com/news/editorials/OPRAaudioadviceV01.php"><IMG style="WIDTH: 83px; HEIGHT: 100px" alt=[crystalball] hspace=10 src="http://www.audioholics.com/news/thumbs/crystalball_th.jpg" align=left border=0></A>At times, here at Audioholics.com, questions only tangentially related to the study of paying as little money for as good sound as possible come up.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </SPAN>Usually, we allow these questions to be fielded by our loyal readers in the forums.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </SPAN>However, due to a disturbing trend of questionable advice being distributed, Audioholics.com felt moved to step in and give the REAL scoop.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp;&nbsp;</SPAN>Thomas Andry&nbsp;has been appointed as the Official Provider of Related Advice (<STRONG>OPRA</STRONG>). The first question that OPRA addresses is "<EM>How to break it to your significant other that the paperweight of a component that they bought you absolutely MUST be replaced by something which, to all accounts, looks EXACTLY the same.” </EM>This advice is also applicable for simply wanting to bring another A/V component into the household which your significant other will likely find to be "unsightly", "too big",&nbsp;or "not as cute as those tiny little cube thingies". You don't want to miss this.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">[Read the Editorial]</SPAN></P>

 

[miklorsmith]

Amen Brother!

I'm 35 years old. This is the kind of advice I've been seeking all those years. I'm actually torn between profound gratitude for finding guidance and unrestrained fury for its taking so long.

Sick, twisted, so right and so wrong all at once. I love it!

 

[Dan Banquer]

Opra

I feel damn lucky that I have my lab and listening space in the attic where the wife has absolutely NO SAY in what goes on. Of course she has near full control downstairs in the living areas and total control in the kitchen.
I'm a lucky guy. For the rest of you: eat your hearts out.
d.b.

 

[jaxvon]

Glad to see Nomas getting published again! I remember when this was just a post on the forums...good times.

 

[Tom Andry]

Don't get all nostalgic on me, I'm gonna cry

 

[miklorsmith]

Fielding

This might be a good place to submit suggestions for other issues which have plagued the forums and should be put to rest. What we have needed is Real Authority. OPRA presents an opportunity previously unavailable that, now available, should be availed. Here's an inkling of a tinkling of a start:

1. How do I convince others I am right? I am, of course, but I seem to lack the necessary tools to sway the vote. I imagine that either OPRA advice will be exceptionally expensive or you/they/he/we will be swamped. Are you looking for staff?

2. Why do others continue to be so wrong? This could be a subset of 1., above.

3. What is the proper technique for comparing 15 different subwoofers, none of which I can listen to?

4. Where might I find "middle ground"?

5. Do cables matter?

6. How do I obtain Privateer's bank account?

There's much more, but others might want to get in on this.

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

6. How do I obtain Privateer's bank account?

1. Get hit on the head, convnce yourself you're really Rich Uncle Pennybags, but can't remember your ATM PIN.

2. Invent the skull piercing.

 

[jaxvon]

Who'd want privateer's bank account? I want Sleestack's. I want to be able to buy $30k in brand new Classe electronics and consider it a deal. No offense to you Sleestack, just a lil jealousy here.

 

[Privateer]

How do I obtain Privateer's bank account?

Do you have a wife or kids?

Who'd want privateer's bank account? I want Sleestack's. I want to be able to buy $30k in brand new Classe electronics and consider it a deal. No offense to you Sleestack, just a lil jealousy here.

I will agree on that, he could buy me 10 times over and not flintch.

 

[miklorsmith]

Yeah, yeah

Wife And kids. Opra - care to share?

 

[Tom Andry]

The title of OPRA is not just a job (well, it's not really a job at all, just a hobby, or calling or whatever anyway), it's a way of life. As most "way's of life" go, OPRA is either extremely hazardous to my health and/or low paying. As such, I am required to wear a helmet, shoulder pads, a girdle, running shoes, and a cup (I was wearing that anyways, it's all the rage don't you know) while I type. Unfortunately, my advice here and elsewhere cannot be used directly for income as I am only stating obvious truths stemming from questionable data sources, dubious research methodologies, and fragmented logic. Charging or excepting donations would be criminal for such an essential service which means that I must supplement my income through numerous means:

1) I work part time at Future City Best Market, one of the finest providers of high end audio equipment the world over. We've got, like, 37 different brand of speakers no larger than my thumb!

2) My wife (who sees less and less of me since I became OPRA, thought she doesn't seem all that perturbed by it) has a kick butt job volunteering at a mental hospital, which is where we met.

3) Clint and Gene let me wash their cars for $5.50 a pop.

4) Aluminum cans

5) Donate blood

6) Piercing/Tattoo test dummy

All and all, I pull down an easy 18.5k a year! I'm rolling in it! Luckily, Ramen is my favorite food group so no problems there.

OPRA (I had a son, but a feisty subwoofer got’em)

 

[Tom Andry]

As far as answers to questions in this thread, some of the more...challenging questions… may be held in reserve for future editorials, others will be answered, as above, right here in the forums, and still others will be completely ignored, all at my whim, muhahahahahahahah….ack…sorry. Soooooooooo………..

1. How do I convince others I am right? I am, of course, but I seem to lack the necessary tools to sway the vote. I imagine that either OPRA advice will be exceptionally expensive or you/they/he/we will be swamped. Are you looking for staff?

2. Why do others continue to be so wrong?

Swamped? Hmm…perhaps. I mean, I’ve already got a backlog of like 5 questions and it’s only been about 24 hours! Convincing others you are right is easy, go to every forum on the internet. Post your opinion on the subject in every thread you can find regardless of how inappropriate it is. Google the topic. When you seen your opinion come up on the first 15 pages, you must be right! Why are others wrong? Lack of dedication, pure and simple.

4. Where might I find "middle ground"?

Middle ground is a fictional place Middle Earth Adjacent, except without all the orcs and glowing eyes and things. It’s this wonderful, magical place where everyone gets along because everyone is equally unhappy. Skin color – grey, eye color – brown, clothing choices – bright purple cotton belly shirts and hip hugger capris all around. Yeah man, it’s a fun place. Monopoly games go on forever ‘cause no one wins, all the food tastes like rice cakes, and all the beer is non-alcoholic. And you want to GO there. More power to ya, bub. I’ve got the express ticket - Thorizine, lots and lots of Thorizine!

OPRA (is that drool on your chin or are you just mediocre to see me)

 

[miklorsmith]

Well

How about this one, wiseguy?

7. Why would I farm out my thinking to a condescending smartass?

After the intitial glow of wonder over having a supreme source of answers for all problems audio and, by extension, life, I went into a second period. This one wracked me with doubt. OK, Opra is great.

8. How am I going to get girls now? Oooo, Opra is so sexy even though he's just some internet personality I've never seen.

9. How do I subjugate my entire ego to some shmuck that doesn't seem to like me?

10. Maybe 9., above is just tough love?

11. What do I do with all this surplus self-perceived brainpower?

12. Doesn't everyone wear a helmet when they type?

See, this stuff isn't easy. Even the best answers won't work with highly illogical and/or defective people. Take my cousin for instance. This guy insists on having the best crappy gear - see? Illogical AND defective. His wife thinks he's swell though.

And, if only some questions are answered, people will swell with angst over the unanswered. This could lead to revolt. Your pimpdaddy lifestyle could be compromised - just a word to the wise-est.

And, even being duh smartest doesn't excuse misreads, it's Middle Ground, not "Middle Earth" or the "The Truman Show" - ed.

 

[Tom Andry]

How am I going to get girls now? Oooo, Opra is so sexy even though he's just some internet personality I've never seen.

The poor OPRA is already off the market, a wicked pre-nup took care of that. Apparently, it is common practice to give up your eternal soul upon the dissolution of marriage, or so my wife's lawyer told me. Fear not, all the rest are for you!

doesn't seem to like me

Like you? Dude, I looooooooooooooooooove you! You're the fashizzle to my fashazzle!

And, even being duh smartest doesn't excuse misreads, it's Middle Ground, not "Middle Earth" or the "The Truman Show" - ed.

This is way funnier than anything I could have written, you're totally hired...once I get a budget…32,000 more car washes to go!

OPRA (milorsmith and OPRA sitting in a tree…)

 

[miklorsmith]

Friends

OK, the show got pretty lame for the last couple years. Earlier though, there was some pretty classic stuff. Did you see the one where Ross/professor was teaching class and one of his students was failing. After class, the guy walks up and says "I love you, dude". "No, I really love you. I'm failing because I can't concentrate in class because I LOVE you."

Ross agrees to pass the guy and then another failing student tries the same trick. Shenanagans ensue. Classic.

 

[Audioholics]

Ask OPRA - Comparing Subwoofers and Cables

At times, here at Audioholics.com, questions only tangentially related to the study of paying as little money for as good sound as possible come up. Usually, we allow these questions to be fielded by our loyal readers in the forums. However, due to a disturbing trend of questionable advice being distributed, Audioholics.com felt moved to step in and give the REAL scoop. Thomas Andry has been appointed as the Official Provider of Related Advice (OPRA). These next questions that OPRA addresses include "What os the proper technique for comparing 15 different subwoofers, none of which I can listen to?" and "How much do cables matter?" as well as "What is OPRA’s ultimate HT system recommendation?" You don't want to miss this.

[Read the Editorial]

 

[surveyor]

IMHO your Opra points are right on!
I personnaly believe that the all channels driven at the same time amp tests belong to the ask Opra agenda as well.

Again IMHO the statement that seperate AV processors are better than recievers is lard (hog oil).
I think that the newer recievers these days far outclass the seperates in their processing capabilities!

 

[miklorsmith]

Destiny's Cable Child! Hallelujah!! Man, all the good ideas are taken. Another fine outing by one that, let's face it, knows more than we do. I see, sniff that some of my questions were chosen. Here are a few other doozies I've been saving up:

Why is this garbage so expensive? Yeah, yeah, profit margins, blah blah blah. If a couple of visionaries could step up, we'd all have better stuff. For Cheapola! The business motto will be "We're losing money, but we'll make it up in volume". Clearly, this golden road will end at a cliff for some individual concerns, it's the Concept we need to sell. The Kamikazes lined up for missions in WWII.

Why doesn't this garbage sound like live music? Of course, if they made it right nobody would need to upgrade, right? Hmmm. . .

What does one need to do to procure an individual title, like Spambot? OPRA is not a realistic goal for Everyone Else.

Why do my ears keep making little wax boogers?

I guess that's it for now. I didn't actually save them up. Hee hee. I just thought of them right now and then made you read it. What power! Now I see a little of what OPRA must feel like all the time. BOW UNTO ME. Naahhh. There's only room for one.

 

[ironlung]

OPRA gave me the new nick name I'm so proud of......I added the "your favorite" part.

 

[gene]

Tom;

Great article! I linked up GLOB so people could reference in case they missed it last year.

Also, I found a great use for exotic silver speaker cables that you failed to realize in your article. Last weekend I was moving a 51" RPTV and didn't have rope to tie it up to the UHaul. Instead, I took a pair of $2k silver speaker cables and used them as rope. While most audiophiles would die to have these cables in their setups, I found no use for them in my setup since they measured so poorly and had such mediocre terminations. I then pondered throwing them away until I realized what their true calling was; an alternative to rope! They got the job done, worked great and I will definately be using them again during my move