1. Not really
2. Most of it myself, but I had help from friends. Two friends to help me put up very heavy screen, family friend to help with curtains, different friend to help me build riser, yet another friend to help me build sub, a group of different friends altogether to help me move the beast, another friend to help with basic audio/video calibrations, yada yada. There is the family's handyman that I call upon about once a year for whatever, and if there is anything that I sort of want help with in the HT (but not pressing enough where I'm going to call on him just for that), I'll ask him to help me (like ceiling mounting my PJ instead of the old shelf mount, or ceiling mounting my speakers).
3. No software. I used the old eyeballs and ears method.
My HT was created easily; like it can be quickly and easily removed if I wanted it to be. Still looks good.
One of the biggest factors, probably the biggest factor, in how much time this can take is the aesthetics you want. If performance ONLY, that's pretty easy, you go all black. I didn't want rope lighting because it wasn't worth the hassle to me, and after all it would reduce contrast. My riser is very simple, just a huge carpeted box. My front area is simply covered with two very large black IKEA rugs. See, I am simple.

But, it's still the greatest theater my friends or family have seen.
I like the eyes and ears method. My advice is to go slowly. Be patient. Get PJ before screen, fire it at wall for a week, until you are absolutely sure of screen size, for instance.
The AT screen you are looking for is the Seymour CenterStageXD. There are several owners of that screen here, and it can be DIY'd, or prebuilt for you. Do it! Here are a few shots of AH member systems using that screen. Sexy!
http://forums.audioholics.com/forums/showpost.php?p=718823&postcount=773
http://forums.audioholics.com/forums/showpost.php?p=651441&postcount=44
http://forums.audioholics.com/forums/showpost.php?p=608330&postcount=39
Back to size vs seating distance, see, you might have to do that all over again, if you find that your seating distance makes for poor audio response there. Rule of thumb is 38% of room length for your ears, either front or back doesn't matter, and that number may drop to 33% if you include other modes. Definitely make your room setup lengthwise. Try to keep any viewers from being too close to any boundary, like the back wall, and if that is unavoidable, look to heavily treat that boundary.
For video, think dark dark dark dark dark. Here is a black hole type of paint product rec:
The blackest, most flat paint. Period.
So, again, building an HT is pretty easy, I think. If it has to look sexy, then that becomes harder.