First, if you want a HT system, you don't need to get the audio to the monitor. The monitor is just that - a video display device. You want all the audio to be reproduced by the receiver and your speakers. I don't know why you would connect the vcr to the receiver and then use its audio outs to the tv unless you are using the tuner in the vcr to tune in cable channels. If you are using a cable box for that purpose, just connect it to the receiver by itself and the vcr to a different input. The 'monitor out' of the receiver will get the video to the tv.
If you DO want to watch tv without the receiver, you just have to get the audio and video to the tv and the way you do that depends on where you get the signal. If you are using cable, just run the cable from the wall to the tv. The RF signal from the cable company includes both audio and video. If you use cable but have a cable box, run the cable from the wall to the cable box RF in and from the cable box RF out to the tv. The cable box is connected to the receiver with audio and video cables and the receiver connected to the tv with audio cables. You just have to switch the input on the tv to cable/antenna in instead of video1 or whatever the input is named to which you connected the cable from the 'monitor out' jack on the receiver.
Second, regarding the need to use all composite video or all s-video cables. This is only true of lower end receivers. Mid range and above often have the ability to transcode from composite or s-video to component (or at the least from composite to s-video). That allows you to mix and match video formats. If your receiver can't do that, then yes you have to make the input format match the output format.
Lastly, any universal remote worth a dime has macro capability and you can set it up to turn everything on, tune to right input, set surround modes, etc with one button press. I use an HTM MX-350. I press at most two buttons to turn everything on - if the remote is not on the main page I have to press main to get it there. Once its there, I press 'power' and everything comes on.
It just takes the right combination of equipment and a little know how to make operating your system the way you like absolutely painless. Just ask away if you have any further questions. Most of us have 'been there, done that' and are eager to help.