Argument with girlfriend over prize

[agarwalro]

It all started when I said that I was going to sell my gift from her, that I did not need (or like, but I did not tell her that... thank heavens), and get something for the HT. I know I axed my own foot on that one...

What ensued was an argument with my girl about stuff that I might win in a contest/ giveaway. I was of the opinion that since i won the item, I can do anything I want with it, including sell it to use the cash for something else. At some point in the argument I also said that it included gifts form others that I might receive. She got mad, stating moral issues and that I should enjoy my prize. Not be petty and greedy!

Anyone else have similar situations where someting small became a huge conflagration due to a difference in opinion? And while you are at it, let hear your take on my situation.

 

[Takeereasy]

I have never been in a similar situation in my life. Ever. No matter what Nomas, Buckeye or anyone else says or despite any of my many posts detailing a very similar situation.

For what it's worth I think you handled it correctly. A little tussle now saves headaches later. I'm just curious though, what's the gift you're returning? The answer to that will differintiate between whether you are just a poor stomped upon soul, or a cruel man and a bad bad boyfriend.

 

[agarwalro]

Wrist watch

I'm just curious though, what's the gift you're returning? The answer to that will differintiate between whether you are just a poor stomped upon soul, or a cruel man and a bad bad boyfriend.

B'Day gift : Wrist Watch. I already had a nice semi-sporty Swatch chronograph that I wore everywhere when she got me a formal Kenneth Cole. Needless to say, I am using the Kenneth Cole for work now just to keep her happy. She knows I dont like it, but appreciates that I use it anyhow.

 

[furrycute]

If it's a personal gift from your friend/girlfriend, then you should keep the gift. It is a matter of courtesy.

It is a contest prize, then you can do whatever you want with it.

 

[Vancouver]

If she gave you something you should know that nothing good can come from selling it. She i would get pissed, and I have to say most chicks would be.

As far as anything you own, won, or were give by someone else the moral issue is not wether its ok for you to sell it, but wether its OK for her to even question you on it. Its yours not hers. Woman have the thought process that once they have spent a certian amount of time with you your stuff becomes theirs and their concern.

She was right on the first point, but way wrong and typical on the second.

 

[zipper]

A wristwatch? Keep it.....................problem is you've already opened a can of worms that will be hard to close. If you really like this chick I suggest you swallow your pride, apologize profusely for even THINKING what you were, keep the watch, & satisfy your HT wants another way. Unless you do you'll hear about for a long time (or at least as long as she is your girlfriend). Hell, you'll probably hear about it from people you wouldn't imagine (circle of friends? relatives?).

As far as something won, don't even discuss it again. If it happens, do what you will with it since you're not married.

May want to think of buying her something...............

 

[MBauer]

Important info missing

Gifts are often very personal and some spend a lot of time choosing them, they can also send messages.

How long has she been your girl friend? Are you serious? With my wife I could get away with it, but I would still be careful as it might be something special to her. As was posted, it is courteous to receive a gift graciously and until you are on very firm footing keep it. Do you try to buy gifts that have meaning to the other person? If so, you might be upset if they sold your gift. To me your girlfriend's position on her gift is very understandable, her position on a prize is not and is possibly a backlash from your reaction to her gift.

Good luck, if she is a terrific young woman please remember HT is stuff that will be obsolete very soon, terrifc young woemn have staying power. Worst case let this be a reason to have some tough conversations and understand each other. If all this sounds stupid, sell the watch, be prepared for a new girlfriend(s).

Good luck

 

[jmanlp]

The way I see it, there are different kinds of gifts. The sentimental kind, and the useful kind (HT equipment). What you have received, is the sentimental kind. Sentimental gifts must never be sold or gotten rid of, no matter how much you dislike them (unless the relationship doesnt mean much). These inlude watches, jewlery, cetain types of clothing, anything engraved, etc... I'm getting married in two months and I learned this lesson the hard way when I first started dating this girl, its just not worth it (unless you care more about cool stuff than the relationship).

 

[furrycute]

How much can the watch be worth? Even if you sold it, it wont add much to your HT budget.

Next time she wants to give you gifts, drop a hint here and there that she should give you gift certificates.

 

[agarwalro]

Good luck, if she is a terrific young woman please remember HT is stuff that will be obsolete very soon, terrifc young woemn have staying power. Worst case let this be a reason to have some tough conversations and understand each other. If all this sounds stupid, sell the watch, be prepared for a new girlfriend(s).

Good luck

Actually I am in a very serious realtionship with her and she is very understanding of my HT-itis (check out my signature). And I did have a good talk with her, one topic led to another. She stays, no doubts there.

 

[agarwalro]

Definitely giving gifts

May want to think of buying her something...............

I am planning to give her the gift of gifts, the ring, this Christmas.

 

[MacManNM]

I have never been in a similar situation in my life. Ever. No matter what Nomas, Buckeye or anyone else says or despite any of my many posts detailing a very similar situation.

For what it's worth I think you handled it correctly. A little tussle now saves headaches later. I'm just curious though, what's the gift you're returning? The answer to that will differintiate between whether you are just a poor stomped upon soul, or a cruel man and a bad bad boyfriend.

Are you sure about that.........?????


I think I'm starting to remember something about ........a receiver...... or something????

I'm sure I would forget it for a small gratuity.

 

[MacManNM]

It all started when I said that I was going to sell my gift from her, that I did not need (or like, but I did not tell her that... thank heavens), and get something for the HT. I know I axed my own foot on that one...

What ensued was an argument with my girl about stuff that I might win in a contest/ giveaway. I was of the opinion that since i won the item, I can do anything I want with it, including sell it to use the cash for something else. At some point in the argument I also said that it included gifts form others that I might receive. She got mad, stating moral issues and that I should enjoy my prize. Not be petty and greedy!

Anyone else have similar situations where someting small became a huge conflagration due to a difference in opinion? And while you are at it, let hear your take on my situation.

How you handle this will set the tone for your entire married life. She will never, I mean NEVER let you live this down. Ten years from now you'll come home late from work, she'll start on you for something, then next thing you know she'll say "just like that watch that I put all that time into finding for you, then you went and sold it".

Keep the watch, keep everything she gets you. Cherish it because if you don't you will regret it.

 

[BMXTRIX]

It's all about give and take. If you didn't need a watch or want a watch, then it is fair to thank her and wear the watch, but at some point she needs to know that you have more specific gifts that you prefer. It takes some time to get that through some womens heads. Those are the type that buy new purses and shoes because they are nice and look .01% different than the 40 other pairs in the closet.

When I have something I want, I put it on my list - I keep it updated and I make sure my family knows about it. I get the occassional sentimental gift, but I just say "I want something along these lines" and she fills in the rest. It is sentimental, I enjoy it. Got a watch one year, wore it for about 10 years - because it was close to what I wanted and she knew it.

A sentimental gift is supposed to be a reflection of not only how much a person cares about you, but how well they know you. There is something that I would think is wrong if my wife got me a gift I didn't like - especially if it was fairly pricey. If I buy something pricey - even if it is somewhat sentimental - I always say "If it is not your style, or you want something different, I have the receipt and would not be offended."

The sentimental gifts I know she likes... Dinner at her favorite restaurant then a musical downtown while our son is being babysat. That's the memories we will cherish.

Good luck.

 

[HookedOnSound]

How you handle this will set the tone for your entire married life. She will never, I mean NEVER let you live this down. Ten years from now you'll come home late from work, she'll start on you for something, then next thing you know she'll say "just like that watch that I put all that time into finding for you, then you went and sold it".

Keep the watch, keep everything she gets you. Cherish it because if you don't you will regret it.

You are wise beyond your years!

Those words couldn't sound any better even coming from a marriage counselor!