I know this thread was for a joke, but I gotta say, my family has had good experiences with their customer service. I've never used them, but I know that at least one of my brothers and my parents have. They fixed a hinge on my Mom's Air even after it was out of warranty, they did it for free (it would have cost her, I forget, $100-$300), and they had it shipped back to her very quickly. She had paid for something like three years of Apple Care, but it broke after that ran out - and they could have told her tough luck. I think that my Dad had a hard drive replaced under warranty in his MB, and he was also happy about the experience.
