Releasing Studio: Dreamworks/Touchstone (Disney/Buena Vista)
Disc/Transfer Specifications: Widescreen 1.85:1; Region 1 (U.S.) Release
Tested Audio Track: English Dolby Digital 5.1
Rating: PG-13
Director: D.J. Caruso
Starring Cast: Alex Pettyfer, Dianna Argon, Timothy Olyphant
PEARLCORDER'S PLOT ANALYSIS:
You know something? If it wasn’t for the absolutely moronic high school backdrop this film relied on – and, ultimately, the idiotic demographic it was geared towards –
I Am Number Four would have rocked. There was, of course, also the quick sequence involving an injured “dog” towards the end, which I never like, and that also became a quick no-buy flash thought for me when watching this, but taking that out of the equation for a moment, this entire thing just smacked of
Twilight-esque teen characters and, as written by some of the “brains” behind TV’s
Smallville, a powerfully adolescent taste which did the production no favors, and ultimately made the film come off feeling like the pilot to a new teen-based show.
The absolute best parts of
I Am Number Four were those displaying the wild special effects and digital wizardry during the fight sequences towards the end – if I didn’t know better, and was not made aware that this was just another girl-meets-the-heartthrob-who-ends-up-having-special-powers-in-high school satire, a la the absolutely gag inducing and nauseating
Twilight, I could have easily thought this was a new super hero/comic adaptation if I had been dropped in the middle of those exciting end fight sequences. But, alas, because we’re dealing with Michael Bay in the producing seat (who seems to have become obsessed with catering to this stupid high school demographic of today via his apparent intentions to make nothing but continuous
Transformers sequels) and director D.J. Caruso (who helmed the sickeningly awful
Disturbia, also about some teens we didn’t care about who thought a next door neighbor was a serial killer – whatever), this picture comes off feeling like yet another big screen WB Network show adaptation – and that’s not a good thing.
The fundamental premise and concept for the film – apparently based on a book – was actually cool, and could have worked in the right hands, and if it weren’t targeting this aforementioned brainless demographic that infests our schools with their iPods, iGames, etc. In the “lead” role we have Alex Pettyfer, who seems like he took a page right from the book of
Sleepwalkers in terms of that film’s lead teen heartthrob and his performance; backing him are Timothy Olyphant (
Live Free or Die Hard_ who actually saves this film from being a complete mess with regard to the acting, the cute 'n perky Dianna Argon (from TV’s
Glee; enough said about that) and Kevin Durand (from TV’s
Lost) in a villain role. These “TV actors” that have been finding their way into feature films are really nothing of the sort, in my opinion; they can neither act nor entertain, and I simply have no idea why filmmakers continue to transport these “popular amongst the iPod crowd” actors from their
Smallville and
One Tree Hill et. al. realms into motion picture territory. The reboot and remake of
Friday the 13th was a perfect example of this – that film, while decently nodding to the Sean S. Cunningham original, was absolutely littered with “stars” from these teenage-angst TV shows, making it feel like it was just a vehicle for these stars to stretch their acting wings a bit more. Personally, I think it’s nauseating and annoying – thus, we have the same thing here in
I Am Number Four. The trailers and teasers seemed promising – and much like
Battle: Los Angeles (which I will be reviewing next) and
Skyline, I was intrigued and wanted to see it in theaters. The final result was indeed exciting in the action sequences, and in terms of action really packed a wallop – but the way in which the film was executed, utilizing grating, downright obnoxious “teen” stars set amidst a backdrop of a new high school kid that’s bullied by the school’s football players (yawn, done before) prior to him kicking some once discovering “powers” he has, just stopped it from being a standout title for grown-up adults living in the real world of bills, mortgages and child raising.
The film opens with a sweeping camera movement, whisking us into a remote jungle somewhere, as two adolescents are snatched from a bamboo hut of some kind – strange looking (but curiously humanoid in appearance) beings with the prerequisite body art and tattooing especially on their heads (a trend not only in Hollywood today but in real life, evidenced by some of the buttclowns you see walking around your local supermarket…with tattooed heads, that is) viciously attack these kids, setting up the vibe and flow early on. We then meet up with Pettyfer, who portrays the high school aged alien who goes by the name “John Smith,” who is seemingly hiding a secret amongst all the peers of his own age he meets – we witness a sequence early on in which John is in the water on some beach with a bikini clad girl when suddenly the markings on his legs illuminate and glow, sending him into some kind of spasm. The girl, freaked out, swims to shore away from John, who is still holding his burned leg, and the episode ends up going up on some Internet site. Big surprise. We then meet Olyphant’s “Henri” character, who is a protector of sorts over “John” and the underlying story of
I Am Number Four is laid out with background narration by Pettyfer. Apparently, there are a colony of these special aliens who have nearly limitless powers and they have been picked off one at a time by the tattooed assassins (who look like a cross between the vampires from
30 Days of Night and…well…no – they look just like the vamps from
30 Days of Night!) who attacked the jungle hut in the beginning. These vicious hunters have come to Earth to kill the fourth of this bunch – hence the title of the book and film – of course played by Pettyfer, and it’s Olyphant’s character that attempts to keep “John” safe by continuously moving and keeping their locations completely secret.
Arriving in the town of Paradise, Ohio, “John” is unaware of just how powerful his abilities are becoming – he watches in horror as the palms of his hands illuminate into glowing balls of blue light, but feeling the raging hormones, apparently, of a human teen, he refuses to keep to Henri’s lockdown rule in their “new” house (a vacated home they decided to take refuge in, complete with a poster of Cleveland Browns quarterback Bernie Kosar) and goes to the local high school. There, he meets the cute Argon, who plays the apparent loner of the school, and who is obsessed with photography. As his crush for her develops, John eventually has a run in with the school bullies of the football team – and as I mentioned, this premise has been done ad nauseum already in films, like in the aforementioned
Sleepwalkers[ and the David Cronenberg drama
A History of Violence, not to mention countless other teen-esque projects over the decades. The leader of these bullies, who is the son of the town’s sheriff, apparently had a thing for and with Argon’s character and isn’t taking well to John’s advances towards her. The petty underlying threats he makes are just sickening, and makes you want to kick this kid in his genitals and send him down a flight of steps. The plot begins to come together as John gets closer to his new love interest, and then meets the geek of the school, who has a connection to John’s past and home planet – in a weird, hokey way. Apparently, this geek, who is a UFO aficionado, had a father who was “taken” by the aliens he and his son used to seek and research (ridiculous, I know) and he ends up helping John against the predators who are hunting him on Earth.
As the film progresses, John’s powers begin to grow exponentially, until he is able to use his “glowing hands” to throw people and objects about, while creating a forcefield around himself, simultaneously flinging those in the forcefield’s vicinity around like a ragdoll. Meanwhile, two new developments take place – an iguana that got into John’s knapsack early in the film, when him and Henri were packing up from their last island paradise home, transforms and shape-shifts into a beagle, and begins to follow John around everywhere, seemingly as another “guardian” of his. The vampire-like creatures stalking John to kill “number four” have also begun searching for him with their enhanced smelling abilities, disguising themselves as hooded humans to shop in grocery stores and such; further, two massive, demonic creatures living in the back of a dump truck the aliens drive around with are fed Butterball turkeys (I’m not making this up) but to be honest, this is goofy, spoofy, syrupy sci-fi at its unabashed best. During a “haunted hayride” attraction John takes Argon’s character to in town, the football captain and his friends jump them, attempting to beat John up – but of course, his newfound powers prevent this, and we see some butt-kicking action from Pettyfer’s character with these powers, as he uses lightning-quick reflexes and fight skills to leave the kids as helpless lumps. It’s always refreshing to see revenge fantasies come to fruition a la
Carrie or any number of other such kinds of stories, and here it’s vividly displayed, as John finally has his way with the head bully, nearly breaking his arm in anger for how he has harassed him.
CONTINUED BELOW...
