I also have a wife and 2 kids, and they do NOT like the same LOUD sound I like in my HT room.
And I don't even listen to anything above 85dBA!
I always have a handy digital Galaxy SPL meter around to measure sound level.
So for my family room (18'L x 20'W x 10'H, open on 3 sides), I use a Denon 3310, but with only a pair of Infinity P362s.