Ungrateful Technophobe 'Friend' Rant...

[Rmassey]

I have a 'friend' that I help out with tech stuff (my first mistake). His 'demands' for my free assistance are becoming tiresome.

He wanted to get going with digital music, so I suggested a SqueezeBox Touch. I have a SB2 and SB3. They work well and require little attention to keep working IMO. Of course I am a SW Engineer and know how to work with network devices fairly well.

So we get him all setup a few months ago with a SB Touch and a WD 1.5T HD, all working fine. He can play local music on the HD and stream Pandora (and more). It works, he's happy.

He calls me one night and says it's not working (of course)... I tell him I cannot/will not diag the issue over the phone, next time I am at his place, I'll take a look. He goes w/o music until I find time to visit. After an hour of diggin' around in the SB web interface I find the problem. Turns out someone in the house pointed the SB library to some non existent iTunes folder. Easy fix, point it to the HD music, he's back up and running.

Last week he calls again, tells me no music.... says his son was 'fixing' an issue with Avast AV and now he's w/o music. I once again tell him I cannot/will not diag the issue over the phone, I can take a look next time I visit. He seems to be learning impaired about this consistent message that I tell him ..... I am not his on demand tech b*tch. Unless he wants to pay me $50/hr for tech support, I am not gonna drop everything to fix his stuff.

I know this is all my own fault, for offering to assist in the first place. *I* am in fact learning impaired, as I cannot seem to learn this simple lesson. Stop offering to help people with Tech, they'll never get it, and will always just want more.

I have another neighbor that upgraded here DirecTV receiver and wants me to reprogram her universal remote.... for free, or a "I'll have you over for dinner' deal. Why? What makes these people think I am free for their on demand tech needs? I know, I know... it's me for offering to help in the first place.

I fix stuff all day at work, I have a house full of tech, a wife and two daughters that have no clue how it works, so I fix what ever they need... and now I have 'friends' and 'neighbors' that demand my time to fix their tech too. I'm done. No more offers to help, no free advise, no free tech support. RTFM people, if ya want tech, learn how to use and maintain it, don't call me.

 

[Nestor]

I have a 'friend' that I help out with tech stuff (my first mistake). His 'demands' for my free assistance are becoming tiresome.

He wanted to get going with digital music, so I suggested a SqueezeBox Touch. I have a SB2 and SB3. They work well and require little attention to keep working IMO. Of course I am a SW Engineer and know how to work with network devices fairly well.

So we get him all setup a few months ago with a SB Touch and a WD 1.5T HD, all working fine. He can play local music on the HD and stream Pandora (and more). It works, he's happy.

He calls me one night and says it's not working (of course)... I tell him I cannot/will not diag the issue over the phone, next time I am at his place, I'll take a look. He goes w/o music until I find time to visit. After an hour of diggin' around in the SB web interface I find the problem. Turns out someone in the house pointed the SB library to some non existent iTunes folder. Easy fix, point it to the HD music, he's back up and running.

Last week he calls again, tells me no music.... says his son was 'fixing' an issue with Avast AV and now he's w/o music. I once again tell him I cannot/will not diag the issue over the phone, I can take a look next time I visit. He seems to be learning impaired about this consistent message that I tell him ..... I am not his on demand tech b*tch. Unless he wants to pay me $50/hr for tech support, I am not gonna drop everything to fix his stuff.

I know this is all my own fault, for offering to assist in the first place. *I* am in fact learning impaired, as I cannot seem to learn this simple lesson. Stop offering to help people with Tech, they'll never get it, and will always just want more.

I have another neighbor that upgraded here DirecTV receiver and wants me to reprogram her universal remote.... for free, or a "I'll have you over for dinner' deal. Why? What makes these people think I am free for their on demand tech needs? I know, I know... it's me for offering to help in the first place.

I fix stuff all day at work, I have a house full of tech, a wife and two daughters that have no clue how it works, so I fix what ever they need... and now I have 'friends' and 'neighbors' that demand my time to fix their tech too. I'm done. No more offers to help, no free advise, no free tech support. RTFM people, if ya want tech, learn how to use and maintain it, don't call me.

How about feeling proud that people think you are competent to be sought after for your expertise?

Spending an hour sifting through the web interface isn't what I'd call an easy fix.

SB is a great device, but it isn't foolproof. Working in IT, you know yourself how easy it is for things to go haywire.

Never help someone acquire technology beyond their capabilities if you are unwilling to assist when it doesn't work.

 

[jostenmeat]

I had one person, an elderly gentleman, who was a bit difficult. I programmed his Logitech remote at least once, if not twice.

So once I wrote out a troubleshooting guide for him, he never bothered me again. I probably made it clear that the first thing I would ask him is if he followed the directions. Appearing lazy might be acceptable to some people, but appearing incompetent is less tolerable to them, at least it appears to me.

I have a different friend will likely prove to be a real PITA. Even his brother agrees that he can be a PITA with his demands, but he's a good friend nevertheless. I will have to be very careful how I approach my advice and help with him.

Otherwise, most anyone else is just fine and thankful. I programmed a remote for my remodeler friend, and he was impressed because I told him that there WILL be a key that did not take the code correctly (which has always been the case in my experience), but that this time every key did take.

 

[jinjuku]

SB is a great device, but it isn't foolproof. Working in IT, you know yourself how easy it is for things to go haywire.

No the fool is the user that goes and f's around with it after you burned your time in configuration, testing, a solid bounce of the power and confirmation that it leaps back off the mat swinging.

Users won't do what they are instructed to do. It's not anyones fault that if an icon gets moved for some unexplicable reason on their screen 128 pixels to the right they CANNOT find it. I never understood that one.

Never help someone acquire technology beyond their capabilities if you are unwilling to assist when it doesn't work.

If that was the case 90% of people out there should still be poking a stick in the termite mound for dinner.

 

[highfigh]

If that was the case 90% of people out there should still be poking a stick in the termite mound for dinner.

That may be, but a certain segment of that group will poke the stick into the back of their throat because they think it's a straw. Then, of course, it's somebody's fault for showing them how to use the stick.

 

[its phillip]

I do tons of "free tech support" like this for my friends and coworkers...it can be pretty annoying after awhile :/

 

[BoredSysAdmin]

http://shouldiworkforfree.com/

 

[just-some-guy]

do what i do.

tell them to buy junk (not is so many words).

then when it doesn't work right, they will not ask for your advice/help again.

 

[Rmassey]

Just had lunch with my 'friend', knowing he'd bring up the SB not working and ask me to come fix it. I told him very clearly, he should perhaps have his son fix it and spend a few hours with Logitech tech support or researching the issue on forums.

He'll prob wear me down, but I'm at least gonna take my sweet time and get to it when the mood strikes me

 

[Stereodude]

This is why whenever someone asks me if I know much about ______. I never reply with, "Oh yeah, I'm an expert." or "I sure do." My answer is always to say something, "I know a little bit, why?" Then I can gauge the situation before tipping my hand and potentially having someone bothering me for lots of help.

 

[gholt]

That is why I stopped giving my opinion on things like taxes, budgeting, finances and AV, unless someone specifically asks for my opinion. I found when I did, I got roped into helping them and then I become free tech support for life.

Now I am careful so that I know what I am getting myself into before I answer.

 

[Kai]

No good deed goes unpunished...

I've become a bit intuitive in such instances. It has taken time, aggravation and a lot of ungrateful asses to teach me to become so but it works out in the end.

I will play dumb if I feel the person has become a time waster, or does all kinds of stupid crap thinking he/she knows it all then screws it up and expects me to drop what I'm doing immediately and rush right over. Playing dumb has all kind of benefits when done correctly. It is especially amusing to watch their antics.

I've suffered through helping people with HT systems, purchases and computer repairs until I became "dumb"...must be something going around. I'm seldom bothered any more hehehe.

 

[Rmassey]

Following our lunch, he's called a few times, several in fact, inviting me to 'stop by' for a movie or whatever. I clearly see this ploy to get me to his place and then he'll ask me to fix his SB config.

He's very intuitive, and reads me well. He knows I'm drawing a line in the sand and trying to get me to cross it. This will be an interesting dynamic.

I like all the suggestions to play 'dumb'. Problem is this only works for people that do not know me. This friend knows I am knowledgeable about tech and he'd see thru any attempt to play it down. Like I said this will be interesting...

 

[Rmassey]

Part 2 - the saga continues....

So now his DSL Modem/Router is acting up, issuing 169.xxx IPs for hard wired connections, wireless still works fine with 192.xxx IPs. I tell him to call Quest for service. Of course they just send him a new modem. And right on queue, he asks me to come over and set it up WTF?

"Oh No, my SB does not work, please come help me, blah, blah, blah...."

I decline and reiterate, "Call Quest and request (and pay for) a service tech. once your network is working again, the SB will be fine."

 

[its phillip]

Your friend sounds like a douchebag!

 

[stratman]

You put yourself in that situation....there's nothing wrong with helping others, but you can't become a welcome mat, you have to put limits and guidelines. I went through the same thing with a buddy and some family members, I put a stop to it really fast, I told them I would only help in case of emergency, not laziness. Now they only call when they're against the wall and if I get there and it's something dumb I politely tell them: "this is my last time, I told you before what you needed to do, you have instructions, read them." Yes, treat them like children.

In case of the elderly, draw schematic on paper, with clear instructions and hope they don't forget where they placed instructions after you leave!

 

[avnetguy]

I have one simple rule for tech setup/help/support, I charge *everyone* and this even applies to family members.

Steve

P.S. I always start them of with my normal consulting fee of an XL coffee at Timmy's.

 

[markw]

Some people are just like that.

They value the service and time provided at what they pay for it.

I had (note: past tense) a "highly paid independent professional" friend who would suck his friends dry for free services and would try to beat tradesmen out of every penny he could.

He then bought a 2 million dollar house in Colts Neck and bought, wholesale, a bunch of flooring, He then called all the floor installers in the area and offered them $10.00/hour to install it. Then, he started calling all his friends and offered them the same. When we all told him to f**k himself, he got all huffy. After a year and a half of sitting with this stuff in his living room, he broke down and hired pros to do it and they had to take him to court to get him to pay. Of course, he represented himself.

That house had a well maintained, beautiful garden with many exotic plants. He refused to pay a landscaper and within two years it looked like a disaster. He tried to hire the neighbor's kids to do it but their parent's set him straight real fast. I guess he shouldn't have went bragging to them about the floor installers having to take him to court to get paid.

Now, I met him when his first wife (who died in '79) and I went to college together. He was always crude and rude but she could keep him under control. After she died, he attached himself to us and out of a sense of obligation to Carole, I/we took him in. He always complained about not having friends. The more successful his practice became, the more arrogant he became. I finally ran out of patience in 2003.

The final straw was when he wanted a stereo system and I arranged for him to buy one. Now, my company was in the process of being sold and I was in a hot and heavy meeting with the new owners and he called the secretary and demanded to speak to me saying it was an emergency. I quickly apologized and excused myself and he had a question about which equipment stand to buy that evening. I gave him hell and he said he makes more an hour than they do and he's more important than they are. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that he had finally gone too far. Thanks to called ID and call waiting I stopped taking his calls.

End result: one less friend on the Xmas card list...

 

[Rmassey]

I always start them of with my normal consulting fee of an XL coffee at Timmy's.

see I think that's where it gets murky and they end up thinking oh for a coffee or a few beers I can get him to fix my stuff. I think your first response is the only safe way to go, charge everyone, no mater what, no matter who.

I know this is my own fault, these types are like children, they just want more. It doesn't matter if you say last time, give them instructions, whatever. They don't get it and never will. Our only recourse is to just charge them a flat fee or opt out entirely.

He then bought a 2 million dollar house...

Yup, I just heard the story all the really expensive furniture and rugs (thousands of dollars) my 'friend' just bought.... on the same phone call where's he asking me for free tech support.

The person you mention above probably prides himself on how thrifty and frugal he is, unaware that he just really pisses everyone off because he's so damn cheap. My 'friend' is the worst tipper on the planet. I often have to insist that he give more when we go out to restaurants because it's embarrassing how cheap he is.

 

[ski2xblack]

These folks sound like bandits masquerading as the helpless...

http://www.lightlounge.org/articles/other_basic_law/index.html