I think my original post came off wrong. I wasnt trying to complain that they wouldnt let me turn it up, i came here to have a conversation about it and get some constructive feedback. Im not trying to be inconsiderate, if i were then this thread would be about me turning it up to spite them.
In a typical apartment, it is simply impossible to play music loud considerately. No amount of subwoofer platforms and other such things are going to make the sound go away (though they might slightly affect things, most likely it is the sound itself that is causing the problem, not the transfer of vibrations directly to the floor; this is particularly showing in your case, since you say the neighbors are above you). So don't waste your money on magic cures.
What you might want to do is talk with your neighbors and see if there are times when it won't bother them, and if so, you will know when (if) there is a time when you can play things loud. But even so, people's schedules change and sometimes someone is home ill, so that needs to be kept in mind as well, which means that one cannot count on any time working. Always turn it down when someone complains (it is what you would want them to do if someone was playing loud music at a time and/or level that bothered you, right?).
The best option, if you can afford it, is to move into a separate house, far from any neighbors. I realize that that is not an option for some people, and so those who cannot afford what is ideal must live with what works (which may be unfair, but it is the same as not being able to afford top of the line gear, so one lives with something lesser). You can always use headphones for loud music.
It really is very annoying to hear the bass part of someone else's music. At a time when it won't bother the neighbors, try listening to some music played loudly through your subwoofer only, with all other speakers turned off, and see how long it takes you to get annoyed with it. My guess is you won't want to hear it that way for even 5 minutes, but your tolerance for it might be greater than most, so it is impossible for me to be sure. To make it even more of a fair test, use a radio station that plays the sort of music you hate the most. And even better, do it at a time when you are feeling ill.