Funny, satirical Amazon comments thread

MinusTheBear

MinusTheBear

Audioholic Ninja
Some of the comments in the customer review section that I read on Amazon are so funny. Its not the first time I have seen stuff like this or have seen them posted but I thought I would make a thread about it and see what other people find in their Amazon travels. You find something that you think is funny on Amazon, post it here (as long it is product related). Audio related products are encouraged but any product is fair game. :cool:

I saw these satirical comments today when looking at Sony's ultra high end headphones, the MDR10.

"You see, these are magic headphones. When placed over your ears, they will instantly whisk you away to Happyland, where the streets are paved with gold, money falls from the sky, and sugar-plum fairies grant your every wish.
These mystical headphones also enable you to run faster than a speeding bullet, and leap tall buildings in a single bound.

All this for just under $4,000. What are you waiting for !!!!! "


"'tis true: these phones cured my sister of dysentery and cleansed my loins of pesky arachnids "

"All my life I'm been unattractive to women. I've tried everything in an effort to get the chicks. However, dressing like Harry Potter, buying a wicked Ford Focus, getting a job as a computer programmer, and learning to play the harp all failed to deliver on their promise of converting me into a babe magnet.
Nothing worked until I bought these headphones. Now the lovely ladies are swarming to me. They are worth every penny."

:D
 
Matt34

Matt34

Moderator
There are some good ones for that $500 Denon HDMI cable that was introduced awhile back.
 
Alex2507

Alex2507

Audioholic Slumlord
Since I drive a Ford Focus I am going to give you an unsigned red chicklet in an unrelated thread 8 days from now. :D
 
fightinkraut

fightinkraut

Full Audioholic
One of my favorite, albeit quite geeky reviews:

by John E. Fracisco (El Segundo, CA USA) This review is from: The Story about Ping

"PING! The magic duck!

Using deft allegory, the authors have provided an insightful and intuitive explanation of one of Unix's most venerable networking utilities. Even more stunning is that they were clearly working with a very early beta of the program, as their book first appeared in 1933, years (decades!) before the operating system and network infrastructure were finalized.

The book describes networking in terms even a child could understand, choosing to anthropomorphize the underlying packet structure. The ping packet is described as a duck, who, with other packets (more ducks), spends a certain period of time on the host machine (the wise-eyed boat). At the same time each day (I suspect this is scheduled under cron), the little packets (ducks) exit the host (boat) by way of a bridge (a bridge). From the bridge, the packets travel onto the internet (here embodied by the Yangtze River).

The title character -- er, packet, is called Ping. Ping meanders around the river before being received by another host (another boat). He spends a brief time on the other boat, but eventually returns to his original host machine (the wise-eyed boat) somewhat the worse for wear.

If you need a good, high-level overview of the ping utility, this is the book. I can't recommend it for most managers, as the technical aspects may be too overwhelming and the basic concepts too daunting.

Problems With This Book

As good as it is, The Story About Ping is not without its faults. There is no index, and though the ping(8) man pages cover the command line options well enough, some review of them seems to be in order. Likewise, in a book solely about Ping, I would have expected a more detailed overview of the ICMP packet structure.

But even with these problems, The Story About Ping has earned a place on my bookshelf, right between Stevens' Advanced Programming in the Unix Environment, and my dog-eared copy of Dante's seminal work on MS Windows, Inferno. Who can read that passage on the Windows API ("Obscure, profound it was, and nebulous, So that by fixing on its depths my sight -- Nothing whatever I discerned therein."), without shaking their head with deep understanding. But I digress."
 
fightinkraut

fightinkraut

Full Audioholic
Here's a link with one particular reviewer who has a bunch of mildly comedic reviews.

Excerpts from one of his reviews: Game Face Paintball E-Rex Elite Semi-Auto Marker

"As the product title indicates, this gun is ideal for a game called “game face paintball.” I found this game is fun to play with people who have broad faces, and more challenging with people who have narrow faces. As my face is narrow, I am a difficult target; but my friend Tim has a fat moon-shaped face, and is a slow runner. This makes him easy sport, albeit tiresome to continually hunt long after you’ve pock-marked his face and further augmented its lunar qualities. A combination of faces of varying widths and lengths easily mixes things up; try tossing in a few weasel-faced people, and you’ve got yourself an afternoon!"

Don't mind me, I'm just laughing at my desk here...
 
J

jostenmeat

Audioholic Spartan
I'm sure some of you guys must remember, and I don't know who first mentioned them here, it might have been mike c, perhaps Adam, but The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee" takes the cake. No less than 1,262 five-star ratings.

The reviews.

Beware of acute tummy aches and profusive tearing of the eyes.

I read somewhere that this was a best selling phenomenon. Sales skyrocketed after one hilarious review begot another. I even thought of buying one, because I find the cheeziness to be so irresistible.




I edited the reviews link to be the "most helpful".



"So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and *****in all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them). "
 
Matt34

Matt34

Moderator
I'm sure some of you guys must remember, and I don't know who first mentioned them here, it might have been mike c, perhaps Adam, but The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee" takes the cake. No less than 1,262 five-star ratings.

Beware of acute tummy aches and profusive tearing of the eyes.

I read somewhere that this was a best selling phenomenon. Sales skyrocketed after one hilarious review begot another. I even thought of buying one, because I find the cheeziness to be so irresistible.

The folks in Iowa must have known these were a special kind of shirt long ago as they were a constant staple in one's wardrobe back in the late 80's.
 
fightinkraut

fightinkraut

Full Audioholic
I'm sure some of you guys must remember, and I don't know who first mentioned them here, it might have been mike c, perhaps Adam, but The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee" takes the cake. No less than 1,262 five-star ratings.

The reviews.

Beware of acute tummy aches and profusive tearing of the eyes.

I read somewhere that this was a best selling phenomenon. Sales skyrocketed after one hilarious review begot another. I even thought of buying one, because I find the cheeziness to be so irresistible.




I edited the reviews link to be the "most helpful".



"So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and *****in all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them). "
Ahhh....one of my favorites, thanks for the memories!
 
zhimbo

zhimbo

Audioholic General
1. Link:
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
The current cheapest price is $69 (yes, for a gallon of milk).

There are over 1,000 reviews, so get cracking. The "most helpful" one is a pretty damn impressive parody of "The Raven" for a joke review.



2. Link:
http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
Current price $19,995

Be sure to check out the "customer images" Here.
 
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