C

caupina

Full Audioholic
Anybody here from out of USA????. I'm from Chile, South America, that thin and long country surrounded by Argentina, Peru and Bolivia (there's a joke, I heard it from an Argentinian that says that Chile is a country holding on tight to the Andes mountains so it doesn't fall into the Pacific Ocean :D) I've been living on L.A. for almost 7 years, working for an airline which got me transfered here. Never thought I'd live in the States, in fact the only other country I lived for some time was Brazil, 3 years, finishing high school in an American school so I learned both English and Portuguese at the same time (my Portuguese is a little bit rusty but I do speak and understand a lot). This thread has to do with coping with the fact I'm a stranger, a foreigner and how difficult or easy my experience has been so far. Well it has a little of both. I can't thank this country enough for the opportunities I've been given, it has open a whole new world to me, and I've been able to reach some goals. It's so practical to live here, and one of the things that stands out the most among others is the importance given to customer service....man that's been a eye opener for me. Also the facilities that at your disposal when the situation requires it...I had a motorcycle accident at the beginning of the year and I got to give it to you guys, the quick action of the paramedics probably saved my life (if I had been in my country, I wouldn't be writing at this moment, probably). There is a lot of things that are very good, I'd say extremely good, that having experienced first hand, I don't know how I lived without them for so long. You guys have an oustanding place to live and call home, no wonder so many people want to cross the border:).

However there's a part of me, a big part of me that knows I just don't belong here, and wishes I was back home. You see is just my wife and me, all my relatives are back home and I miss that, big time. One of the things I've found very hard to grasp is how less sociable people around here are (it's probably a California thing:eek:), and the word family takes a whole new meaning. Here kids leave home when they are 18 (or younger) and that family union (or unity) is gone. Parents spent most of the time away from the sons/daughters and I guess nobody has time for each other anymore, just one family reunion for Thanksgiving or some other important occasions, and that's it. Where I come from (and it's probably the rule in most of Latin America) family remains together, visiting each other regularly, and your parents are being taken care of on a regular basis. All the important dates, Christmas, birthdays, holidays are celebrated together. I go to Chile every time I can (even though I must confess, I've been avoiding going to Chile lately 'cause it's winter and I hate cold weather:eek:), but I certainly make sure I don't miss my parents' birthdays. I'm not saying that's this issue here is bad.....just different.
The company I work for has been paying for our papers to become legal residents (I'm on a work permit/visa) so I'm a very favorable position considering the illegal immigration situation here, but at the end of the day I don't think I'll spend the rest of my life here, in fact we've set a plan for the future with my wife, which if it works out will have us back in Chile in 2-3 years. We do have a future there, and it's not like I was trying to get away from a terrible life back home, but this opportunity to work here was presented to me and I decided to make the most out of it.

I'm extremely grateful for the chances I've been given, and I've had a great time here so far. There are some internal issues I agree with, other I don't, but since I'm just a visitor I've tried to stay out of any debate.


So how has the experience been for you the outsiders here????
 
ParadigmDawg

ParadigmDawg

Audioholic Overlord
Well, I'm glad you got to come here and that you have enjoyed it. Please don't judge this country by any experience you have had in CA. Come to Texas if you want to see friendly, family oriented people.
 
Nomo

Nomo

Audioholic Samurai
Well, I'm glad you got to come here and that you have enjoyed it. Please don't judge this country by any experience you have had in CA. Come to Texas if you want to see friendly, family oriented people.
:eek:...........with guns..........:p
 
XEagleDriver

XEagleDriver

Audioholic Chief
Give it some time

. . . I'm from Chile, South America, . . .
However there's a part of me, a big part of me that knows I just don't belong here, and wishes I was back home.
First off, welcome to the USA and I am glad you are enjoying your stay (for the most part :p ).

FWIW: I am the son of a Chilean immigrant who came to the US in the late 1950's to attend university (Cal Berkeley), found a wife, a career, raised two sons and has lived here ever since. It is interesting that as deep as his roots in the USA are; my Dad still has strong emotional ties to Chile, the place of his birth and childhood. He did not visit Chile much during his working years (too busy/$$), but now that he is retired he visits as often as he can (every couple years or so).

. . . One of the things I've found very hard to grasp is how less sociable people around here are (it's probably a California thing:eek:), and the word family takes a whole new meaning.
Although I do not dispute your experience, it does take time to develop the depth of relationships you were naturally born into in Chile. My Dad and Mom just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year, and at the celebration dinner for them were friends spanning the last 40+ years, as well as kids, grandkids and relatives from across the USA.

Here kids leave home when they are 18 (or younger) and that family union (or unity) is gone. Parents spent most of the time away from the sons/daughters and I guess nobody has time for each other anymore, just one family reunion for Thanksgiving or some other important occasions, and that's it. Where I come from (and it's probably the rule in most of Latin America) family remains together, visiting each other regularly, and your parents are being taken care of on a regular basis. All the important dates, Christmas, birthdays, holidays are celebrated together.
I agree with you, there is a significant difference in cultural emphasis between the two regions--South America is more family centric and the USA is more career/materialistic centric. Additionaly, the USA is a very mobile culture and this contributes to families moving away from each other. Which is better, I don't know? I have only lived here and the USA seems normal to me. If you can manage to blend the best of both regions, you will probably be on pretty solid ground. :)

I feel lucky to have grown up with Chilean (Dad), German (Mom), and American influences. For example, it was normal in our Southern CA home to have Empanadas, Pastel de Choclo, or Arroz con Pollo for dinner--never occured to me that my friends thought this was very "exotic" cuisine! :D:p

In summary, if you do end up spending more time here, my parents experience provides at least one case of becoming more "at home" over time, while still keeping your Chilean ties.

Cheers,
XEagleDriver
 
C

caupina

Full Audioholic
Well, I'm glad you got to come here and that you have enjoyed it. Please don't judge this country by any experience you have had in CA. Come to Texas if you want to see friendly, family oriented people.
You know I heard that too from one of my colleagues at the airport, that's why I said that it probably was a CA thing. Thanks for th invitation, I guess there are a lot of places and people from all walks of life just around the corner that would make me feel right at home. I like it here though, weather wise:D
 
C

caupina

Full Audioholic
First off, welcome to the USA and I am glad you are enjoying your stay (for the most part :p ).

FWIW: I am the son of a Chilean immigrant who came to the US in the late 1950's to attend university (Cal Berkeley), found a wife, a career, raised two sons and has lived here ever since. It is interesting that as deep as his roots in the USA are; my Dad still has strong emotional ties to Chile, the place of his birth and childhood. He did not visit Chile much during his working years (too busy/$$), but now that he is retired he visits as often as he can (every couple years or so).



Although I do not dispute your experience, it does take time to develop the depth of relationships you were naturally born into in Chile. My Dad and Mom just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year, and at the celebration dinner for them were friends spanning the last 40+ years, as well as kids, grandkids and relatives from across the USA.



I agree with you, there is a significant difference in cultural emphasis between the two regions--South America is more family centric and the USA is more career/materialistic centric. Additionaly, the USA is a very mobile culture and this contributes to families moving away from each other. Which is better, I don't know? I have only lived here and the USA seems normal to me. If you can manage to blend the best of both regions, you will probably be on pretty solid ground. :)

I feel lucky to have grown up with Chilean (Dad), German (Mom), and American influences. For example, it was normal in our Southern CA home to have Empanadas, Pastel de Choclo, or Arroz con Pollo for dinner--never occured to me that my friends thought this was very "exotic" cuisine! :D:p

In summary, if you do end up spending more time here, my parents experience provides at least one case of becoming more "at home" over time, while still keeping your Chilean ties.

Cheers,
XEagleDriver
I knew there was a half Chilean somewhere around:D. It's funny that you mention food, man I miss Chilean cuisine so much. I've been to a couple of Chilean restaurants in L.A. but it just tastes different. I guess it just takes a while to get used to living here, besides we haven't laid any roots so far, I mean having kids, so I guess that makes the thought of going back more recurrent. I have not given up on this experience and we've enjoyed most of our time here, but it's hard to let go.

By the way congratulations to your parents for their "Bodas de Oro". That's some great achievement very hard to accomplish these days. My parents have been married for 55 years, and thankfully they're both doing just fine.
 
TLS Guy

TLS Guy

Seriously, I have no life.
So how has the experience been for you the outsiders here????
Largely a good one.

I came out to Manitoba Canada from Great Britain with my wife, a British nurse, as a young physician in 1970.

Having been raised in the frenetic South East of England and resided for six years in the greater London area, coming to the Canadian Prairie was quite a change of gear.

However, in those days about 30% of British graduates went to the dominions. The great majority of the physicians in the Brandon area were from the British Isles at that time, so that ameliorated the situation considerably.

Within a few days of our arrival, we were invited to a barbecue at the home of a physician who had emigrated five years earlier. I grew up in the village of Frindsbury, at Rochester. This physician was from the village of Wainscot in sight of my bedroom window. His family was well known to ours.

That glorious summer night was my first introduction to North American beef. I confess that was the one and only time a consumed two T-bone steaks!

We came to Canada planning to stay three to five years. When we told the assembled company of British expatriot medical families of our intentions. They said save your money! The return to England and back was known in those days as the $1000 cure. We met a number who had taken the cure.
I think it dawned on us then, that England would never be our home again.

A couple of years after we left, my wife's father received the golden handshake as a senior telephone engineer with the Royal Post Office. Prior to Margaret Thatcher, the telephones were controlled by the Royal Mail. wages were low and service terrible. For instance when you moved house you went to the beginning of the cue to get telephone service, which meant you took two to three years to regain telephone service after a move.

Anyhow Jack took a job with Associated Electrical Industries in Winnipeg, and so my wife's parents emigrated. They loved Canada, and for the first time built up significant savings, and had a far better standard of living than they enjoyed in England.

At the end of 1976 my wife and I and our three children born in Canada emigrated to Grand Forks ND. We lived in Grand Forks until just over a year ago. Our fourth child was born in ND.

Our children love England, but state they are very glad we emigrated and that they did not grow up in England.

Obviously this is a very different immigrant experience to yours. For one thing the culture of the British Isles, is much more similar than South American culture, to say nothing of language. Both our legal systems are based on British Common law rather than Roman law.

The major reason for this countries constitution and Bill of rights, being they way they are is a direct result of the last British civil war between 1642 and 1649. The mistakes leading up to that war, the failures of Oliver Cromwell's Commonwealth, the restoration of the monarchy and its aftermath, were ever present in the minds of the framers of the constitution. Although they were Cromwell's men, so to speak, they learned the lessons of what had gone wrong very well. For that matter so did British leadership following the War of Independence.

So in some ways it is hard for us to feel foreigners here.

This is well highlighted by an incident just a few years ago. I looked after an old Swede during a very long illness. He was from Thief River Falls MN, which he and the other old Scandinavians, pronounce Tief River Falls.

I had to take a leave for a few days, and he went on a rant about how he did not want to be looked after by any foreign doctors! I told him he had been looked after by a foreign doctor for years. He replied that they did not, and would not, regard the English as foreigners round here, and to never refer to myself as a foreigner again!

So we have had a good life here. In the circumstances of my family we have been able to visit the UK and my siblings and families have visited here. Until recent years my parents made many visits over here, and my wife's sister, husband and children have visited. We have kept many family traditions, especially at Christmas time, and our children are carrying on many of the traditions. We have made many US and Canadian friends. We still have close English friends as well. We are close to a couple, both physicians who emigrated to Southern Manitoba from Yorkshire. They came out five years before us. They still work in Brandon for part of the summer, and live most of the year in white Rock BC now. They visit us here often, twice in recent weeks.

So I personally have no regrets, I am quite content. My wife I know still harbors some ambivalent feelings about family separation by distance.

However I did at one time harbor an inclination to retire the British East Anglian coast. Specifically to the fishing village of Walberswick in Suffolk. This is very close to my families summer home on Eastern Bavance just north of Southwold, the other side of the River Blyth from Walberswick. One other interesting factoid: the village of Southold on Long Island NY, was founded by Southwold stock. For some reason they left out the w. Many of the families have stayed connected over the years, and you will find memorials donated from either side of the Atlantic in both towns. My wife however was adamant that there would be no more family separations.

The upshot of this is that when we bought this place on Benedict Lake ten years ago my wife named it Walberswick, so that we would get to retire at Walberswick!
 
Last edited:
R

rnatalli

Audioholic Ninja
I was born is raised in the U.S., but as a dual citizen, I've also lived overseas (Italy and Switzerland). I know exactly how you feel. When I came back to the U.S., I was glad but at the same time, I felt much was missing. Each continent appeals to a different half of my being and as a result, I will never be complete.
 
J

jamie2112

Banned
I will agree and say its a Cali thing. People out here for the most part are fake......I am in LA and you are welcome at my house anytime.......
 
R

rnatalli

Audioholic Ninja
I will agree and say its a Cali thing. People out here for the most part are fake
I have to agree. I never liked LA for this reason. The only cities in the U.S. I feel comfortable in are Boston and San Fran, although I obviously haven't been to all of the major cities.
 
ParadigmDawg

ParadigmDawg

Audioholic Overlord
We do love our guns here.

It's funny. You can come to my house and ask for about anything and I will gladly give it to you. Come here uninvited and take as much as a piece of grass from my lawn and I will shoot you....;)
:eek:...........with guns..........:p
 
lsiberian

lsiberian

Audioholic Overlord
We do love our guns here.

It's funny. You can come to my house and ask for about anything and I will gladly give it to you. Come here uninvited and take as much as a piece of grass from my lawn and I will shoot you....;)
As long as you feel threatened you don't need to wait for me to come on your grass. :)
 
lsiberian

lsiberian

Audioholic Overlord
Anybody here from out of USA????. I'm from Chile, South America, that thin and long country surrounded by Argentina, Peru and Bolivia (there's a joke, I heard it from an Argentinian that says that Chile is a country holding on tight to the Andes mountains so it doesn't fall into the Pacific Ocean :D) I've been living on L.A. for almost 7 years, working for an airline which got me transfered here. Never thought I'd live in the States, in fact the only other country I lived for some time was Brazil, 3 years, finishing high school in an American school so I learned both English and Portuguese at the same time (my Portuguese is a little bit rusty but I do speak and understand a lot). This thread has to do with coping with the fact I'm a stranger, a foreigner and how difficult or easy my experience has been so far. Well it has a little of both. I can't thank this country enough for the opportunities I've been given, it has open a whole new world to me, and I've been able to reach some goals. It's so practical to live here, and one of the things that stands out the most among others is the importance given to customer service....man that's been a eye opener for me. Also the facilities that at your disposal when the situation requires it...I had a motorcycle accident at the beginning of the year and I got to give it to you guys, the quick action of the paramedics probably saved my life (if I had been in my country, I wouldn't be writing at this moment, probably). There is a lot of things that are very good, I'd say extremely good, that having experienced first hand, I don't know how I lived without them for so long. You guys have an oustanding place to live and call home, no wonder so many people want to cross the border:).

However there's a part of me, a big part of me that knows I just don't belong here, and wishes I was back home. You see is just my wife and me, all my relatives are back home and I miss that, big time. One of the things I've found very hard to grasp is how less sociable people around here are (it's probably a California thing:eek:), and the word family takes a whole new meaning. Here kids leave home when they are 18 (or younger) and that family union (or unity) is gone. Parents spent most of the time away from the sons/daughters and I guess nobody has time for each other anymore, just one family reunion for Thanksgiving or some other important occasions, and that's it. Where I come from (and it's probably the rule in most of Latin America) family remains together, visiting each other regularly, and your parents are being taken care of on a regular basis. All the important dates, Christmas, birthdays, holidays are celebrated together. I go to Chile every time I can (even though I must confess, I've been avoiding going to Chile lately 'cause it's winter and I hate cold weather:eek:), but I certainly make sure I don't miss my parents' birthdays. I'm not saying that's this issue here is bad.....just different.
The company I work for has been paying for our papers to become legal residents (I'm on a work permit/visa) so I'm a very favorable position considering the illegal immigration situation here, but at the end of the day I don't think I'll spend the rest of my life here, in fact we've set a plan for the future with my wife, which if it works out will have us back in Chile in 2-3 years. We do have a future there, and it's not like I was trying to get away from a terrible life back home, but this opportunity to work here was presented to me and I decided to make the most out of it.

I'm extremely grateful for the chances I've been given, and I've had a great time here so far. There are some internal issues I agree with, other I don't, but since I'm just a visitor I've tried to stay out of any debate.


So how has the experience been for you the outsiders here????
We live in a very fractured society with a lot of broken families. Much of it is the result of marriage being a completely personal matter. This is why I went to great pains in selecting a very particular mate.

Normally in most countries one would have the guidance of family in this endeavor.

Another contributing factor is the pioneering spirit we have. We all want to go out on our own and survive this is what makes us Americans. Independence is the American Spirit and when stuff hits the fan we are a single family in many respects. Despite all the problems this nation is a great one especially when tragedy strikes.

As far as family closeness. Come down to Texas or even the South and you'll get a good dose of our hospitality. Plus some of the best food in our nation.

Just don't stay too long or you'll gain a lot of weight. :)
 
M

MatthewB.

Audioholic General
With how stuck up the women in the states are, I sometimes ponder the benefits of Russian mail Order brides....Sigh.
 
highfigh

highfigh

Seriously, I have no life.
With how stuck up the women in the states are, I sometimes ponder the benefits of Russian mail Order brides....Sigh.
Come to Wisconsin if you want stuck up women. Most of them who are the worst are in the HTF class, too.

Russian mail order brides are fine but why do you want to limit your choices when there are so many women from other countries who are just as available?
 
lsiberian

lsiberian

Audioholic Overlord
Come to Wisconsin if you want stuck up women. Most of them who are the worst are in the HTF class, too.

Russian mail order brides are fine but why do you want to limit your choices when there are so many women from other countries who are just as available?
Some chick up there drug my cousin up there after snaring him with two kids and then cheated on him.

I imagine there are some good ones up there though, but they probably get snagged quickly.
 
C

caupina

Full Audioholic
I will agree and say its a Cali thing. People out here for the most part are fake......I am in LA and you are welcome at my house anytime.......
Thanks jamie!!!!. That's very kind of you:)
 
C

caupina

Full Audioholic
Another contributing factor is the pioneering spirit we have. We all want to go out on our own and survive this is what makes us Americans. Independence is the American Spirit and when stuff hits the fan we are a single family in many respects. Despite all the problems this nation is a great one especially when tragedy strikes.
That's a very good point. It's quite the opposite in Chile, where we tend to stay as close as possible to our relatives and that's why we are kind of a "centralized" society, for lack of a better word, besides not too many options outside the major cities like Santiago, Valparaiso, Concepcion, etc, so if you decide to venture outside them, jobs are not easy to come by.
 
R

rnatalli

Audioholic Ninja
With how stuck up the women in the states are, I sometimes ponder the benefits of Russian mail Order brides....Sigh.
I'm married to a Russian woman and I wouldn't have it any other way, but Russian women are far from the poor, helpless girls the scam agencies would have you believe. Moscow is the 2nd largest and most expensive city in the world to live in today. It ranks higher than London, Tokyo, and makes New York look like a bargain. If you want a submissive, poor girl to rescue, look elsewhere.
 
Nemo128

Nemo128

Audioholic Field Marshall
So how has the experience been for you the outsiders here????
I was born here, but my living locations have varied greatly, including Newark NJ and Catskills NY. I've encountered nearly every variety of person this country has to offer, from the granola-crunching eco-friendly Prius-driving hippy to the red-meat-eating big-block-V8-loving bunny-hunting hillbilly, from the ghetto trash mooching off the system to the endless-work-day back-breaking laborer, the ESL-class-attending janitor to the big-dollar executive with the personal chauffer for commuting to the office, the true criminal with no regard to the lives of others to the honest cop who puts his life on the line because he genuinely believes in right and wrong, the diamond in the rough caught in the circumstance of their hood trying to escape to the corrupt cop he has to avoid who's been trying to pin a drug charge in him since he was 8, the hug-everyone we-are-the-world idealist to the blow-up-the-brown-people imperialist, the struggling two-job-working mother lied to and denied by the guy who conned his way into her pants to the fat lazy mother of four that refuses to work a day in her life thanks to govt assistance, the soldier willing to die to protect his country to the sociopath-in-the-making who only enlisted because he likes the sight of dismembered corpses... I could go on, I won't...

I feel like an outsider everywhere I go, and sometimes I'm actually quite glad for that. It just means I can see beyond the person I'm looking at and understand where they come from and what made them who they are, because we're all products of our environments. Our environments teach us who we want to be and who we don't want to be, for better or worse. I firmly believe everyone without exception has something good to offer the world, and it's up to each of us individually to offer it even if as individuals we can't always agree and work cooperatively.
 

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