My metals instructor's comment was "heat the work", meaning you need to bring the items to be soldered up to temperature for the solder to flow correctly. If you don't, you are just melting solder and dropping onto your items, creating a cold solder joint where the solder is not making good contact with either of the items to be soldered - this is not only a weaker bond, it also isn't good for electrical conductivity.
For the most part, your instructor is correct.
That said, let's talk about the differences, and why my process is better. For discussion only, I will refer to "you" as in not me..
You heat the parts before the flux has left the core, since there has been no melting of the solder in order to release the flux.
I do not heat and further oxidize the metals until the flux has been released. So my method limits the amount of time the metals are hot and in oxygen.
You have a tip that will force the work to greatly exceed the melt temperature of the solder...for tin/silver, that is 221 C, you will bring the work well beyond that temperature before the flux and metal can cover the base materials. Remember, when the base metal exceeds an upper temp (flux dependent), the flux will burn instead of clearing the oxides and remaining in place to prevent oxygen from hitting the metal.
You bring the base metal well above 221C. If you are soldering to a small pushbutton which has epoxied terminals out the back, you will compromise the switch because the epoxy will debond from the terminal and flux will be drawn into the switch. (I had to autopsy lots of C & K switches for this).
The real thing your instructor is doing, is forcing you to make sure the work gets to the adequate temperature to melt the solder and form the correct intermetallics. This can be a real concern, and you rightly point out the possibility of cold solder joints.
As I pointed out with my method, once the molten solder had heated the base metals sufficiently, then the actual joint will occur. An experienced solderer will certainly be knowledgeable in watching the process to make sure cold joints do not occur.
I taught lots of guys here how to do it properly, and so far, there have not been any catastrophic failures due to cold joints.
If your instructor would like to learn about it, let me know, I'd be happy to detail it more for him(her) offline.
Cheers, John
ps..ahhh, an edit.. seems you do what I do also... but your cautions are absolutely correct, good points..