What to tell a friend.....

[davidtwotrees]

An old friend of mine and I are going out for dinner and a Edgar Allen Poe type production at a local "castle" We don't see eachother that often, but get together for dinners, plays, and concerts. Jim was a semi professional musican and can flat out play his guitar. He didn't quite "make it" and now works in a corporate environment. He has never been an audiophile, but as a musician he appreciates music and stereos. He certainly marvels at mine. Money isn't a problem for Jim. He had made some overtones about putting together a good two channel system. He had talked about tubes, so I thought he was gonna really put together a decent system. He is a bachelor in a good sized home. He has space galore.
Today he called to firm up the evening's plans. We did that and chatted. I mentioned I was on here doing whatever it is I do here. He mentioned he had pulled the trigger on a system. I was surprised as he seemed gung ho when I mentioned auditioning speakers and systems at some of the local b and m shops. He goes on to tell me he bought a desktop system from Tivoli Audio
Hungh??!!! Then goes on to say it has the rich deep sound of a Bose tabletop system! He said I could come over and hear it when he gets it. I was gracious and told him it should sound swell.
My question is, should I tell him I think he dropped the ball? That the Tivoli system is great for a bedroom, or for a college girl, but he was a Heavy Metal musician and this is the equivalent of Eddie Van Halen showing up with a pink barbie amplifier at Madison Square Garden!
Sign Me, Confused and Conflicted

 

[Adam]

While I sometimes struggle with it, I try to remember that my friends and family pick out what they like and that it doesn't need to be what I like. My brother recently replaced his cheap Sony receiver with another cheap (~$200) Sony receiver. He's thrilled with it because it's better than the one that he had. He's heard good systems, but it's just not that important to him. Somtimes I figure that he'd appreciate something nicer, but I know that he's a smart guy with good common sense, and he's just picked out what works best for him.

 

[AcuDefTechGuy]

I would say something like, "Okay, now help me understand your rationale for buying this little desktop system from Tivoli Audio? I mean there are hundreds of systems out there, so why did you pick this?"

He will probably say, "You don't approve?"

You say, "I have to admit that I would have gone a different route."

He will say, "Okay, tell me your recommendation."

 

[mtrycrafts]

I would say something like how nice it is and as long as he liked it that is all that was important, not what others may like or not like. You don't want to alienate good friends over nothing of significance or importance. Maybe he has hearing loss from years of being in such a band or is just not into what this hobby can offer. Just accept his choi8ces unless he wants specific suggestions and even then, be careful.

 

[Alex2507]

Tell him it sucks and that he sucks too.:

Actually when you listen to it you can mentally compare it to a $10 clock radio and then honestly say, "Hey, that really puts out some nice sound!"

I worked with a guy who plays in a band on weekends. I started talking to him about sound systems and music formats. Well his take on it was that when you're listening to Rock Music all you're listening to is distortion anyways and his favorite way to do it was to play it on a boombox into a microphone and then run it through his "pro" PA system.

You can't teach a pig to dance. All it does is pisses off the pig and wastes your time.

 

[davidtwotrees]

Thanks, Guys. I'm usually pretty up front. I'll see how it goes...........

 

[majorloser]

Why don't you just invite him along some day while you go shopping. Just don't tell him you're looking at things you thought he'd like. When guys think they're helping somebody else spend money they usually end up getting loose with their own.

Just a thought. Never hurts to visit a couple high-end B&M store once in awhile anyway.

 

[FatStrat85]

Ugh... That's a tough situation. It's the worst when they're all excited about it and ask with bright eyes what you think. I'd hope your friendship is strong enough that you can be honest. He might thank you later. Then again, he might be very insulted and think you're a pretentious snob.

 

[Alex2507]

I have aspirations of being a pretentious snob. Using JBL speakers keeps me in my place. I do have a Denon though. Now if I had a Rotel....there would be no talking to me.

 

[STRONGBADF1]

While I sometimes struggle with it, I try to remember that my friends and family pick out what they like and that it doesn't need to be what I like. My brother recently replaced his cheap Sony receiver with another cheap (~$200) Sony receiver. He's thrilled with it because it's better than the one that he had. He's heard good systems, but it's just not that important to him. Somtimes I figure that he'd appreciate something nicer, but I know that he's a smart guy with good common sense, and he's just picked out what works best for him.

Very well said.

(If I am asked for help I am very conscience of their budget tolerance for such things and then tell them to listen for themself after I point them in a direction. Then I have to set it up...)

SBF1

 

[AdrianMills]

I read somewhere once that a lot of pro audio people could be considered at least partially deaf and that they are the last people that you should ask about audio quality.

Try to let him down gently ( ) but considering the music he listens to and my comment above, would he appreciate anything more expensive?

One more thing; the younger brother of a girlfriend came around with some of his music (metal of some sort) expecting it to sound great on my system - it was awful. I mean, in addition to the fact that it wasn't my kind of music (not for a while any way), it really did sound awful. I guess it would have been better in my car.

OKay, so I found the link http://home.att.net/~Wirebnder/articles/article_14.htm which is a very amusing read but the bit that came to mind was this;

It reminded me of the year an audiologist set up shop at the LA AES convention, tested a wad of us, discovered the majority of audio professional were functionally deaf, and changed the AES forever. Yeah, from that day to the foreseeable future, no audiologist will ever be allowed to administer hearing tests at the AES convention.

I found it hilarious at the time.

 

[davidtwotrees]

Well, thanks for all your comments. Interesting take on people, and dealing with People in general.
Jim and I had a great time. We both love Edgar Allen Poe, and this production is just awesome and covers all his poems and stories.........
Anyway, Jim and I were eating at Hooter's, and I brought up that I was disappointed that he was getting an end table stereo. He laughed and said that was for his bedroom! He is inheriting a good chunk of money on the first of the year, and assured me I was his go to go guy and was looking forward to auditioning the gear needed for a tubed, two channel system. Ye Ha.

 

[AcuDefTechGuy]

He is inheriting a good chunk of money on the first of the year, and assured me I was his go to go guy and was looking forward to auditioning the gear needed for a tubed, two channel system.

Cool. So what kind of system are you thinking?

 

[FatStrat85]

Well, thanks for all your comments. Interesting take on people, and dealing with People in general.
Jim and I had a great time. We both love Edgar Allen Poe, and this production is just awesome and covers all his poems and stories.........
Anyway, Jim and I were eating at Hooter's, and I brought up that I was disappointed that he was getting an end table stereo. He laughed and said that was for his bedroom! He is inheriting a good chunk of money on the first of the year, and assured me I was his go to go guy and was looking forward to auditioning the gear needed for a tubed, two channel system. Ye Ha.

Somehow, I'm very relieved for you. Your situation was stressing me out!

 

[zildjian]

Well, thanks for all your comments. Interesting take on people, and dealing with People in general.
Jim and I had a great time. We both love Edgar Allen Poe, and this production is just awesome and covers all his poems and stories.........
Anyway, Jim and I were eating at Hooter's, and I brought up that I was disappointed that he was getting an end table stereo. He laughed and said that was for his bedroom! He is inheriting a good chunk of money on the first of the year, and assured me I was his go to go guy and was looking forward to auditioning the gear needed for a tubed, two channel system. Ye Ha.

Whoo! That was a close one. Good move talking to him about it. If you're close friends, it's good to tell him straight up what you feel and that you care. Also a good place to do so, just about any conversation is better over some wings! Since you said wings, now I'm going to go throw some wings on the grill! Thanks for the idea!

 

[Rob Babcock]

I wonder what his budget is? It's fun to spend other people's money!

 

[davidtwotrees]

I didn't press him on money or his budget. He does seem to want tubes although Jim is pretty liberal and open minded. If he heard a solid state system I'm sure he wouldn't be above buying one. I have shared the Audioholics engineering type philosophy - logic and common sense when it comes to matters audio. Jim doesn't believe in cabling magic. But he is tube minded as a guitar player who owns tubed amps and is adamant that tubes and tube rolling make a big difference in the sound of his guitar.....
Jim looked, but didn't listen to my Canton's last night-he was just here briefly.
He does know to spend on the speaks. I'll see what he thinks of the sources.
He was fascinated by my music server.....but they are a bit pricey.....mine works great as a cd player, although I use the Denon for critical listening, the Fireball has my redbook library on it in 320kbps and sounds great. I could take my Acurus, Canton's, The Fireball, and my preamp and have a great 2 channel system for under $5k
Thanks again for your valuable input, on Audio and people. I love this hobby.

 

[AcuDefTechGuy]

I love this hobby.

Me too, especially the spending part!

 

[Joe Schmoe]

At least he didn't buy Bose!

 

[rnatalli]

I would say something like, "Okay, now help me understand your rationale for buying this little desktop system from Tivoli Audio? I mean there are hundreds of systems out there, so why did you pick this?"

He will probably say, "You don't approve?"

You say, "I have to admit that I would have gone a different route."

He will say, "Okay, tell me your recommendation."

I've used this tactic on several occasions and it's the best approach IMO. True that some people can't be saved, but at least this way you get a clear indication if they're looking for advice.