I have used several digital optical cables for DVD players and for my 8300HD and have never had a problem. They slide in and sort of click into place. If you are using a proper cable and trying to plug into the proper port, I would say there is something wrong with the 8300. Take it back and ask for another.
There also aren't different connector sizes on each end...they are both the same and it doesn't matter which "direction" the cables is oriented in. As you know, I'm sure, the connectors are keyed and will only fit in one way.
Do you have a digital camera? Take a pic so we can see the exact problem.