I wasn't! I was just sitting on the pot and this door just spoke to me! It says, "I'm a hell of a door for a restaurant bathroom, don't cha' think? I have siblings in every Waffle House in the US. I bet you're wondering why we're here! Too bad, I'm not talking!" And then, much to my chagrin, it just clammed up and left me hanging.
Where else can you
always find living human flesh 24/7?