WHEN DID EVERYTHING GET SO EXPENSIVE?!?!?!?!? kids are expensive ...

[ImcLoud]

That's right, you don't. Irv, you're not winning any sympathy from me. Spending money like that is a decision, not a requirement. We all know you're rich and successful, and no successful business runs itself, so you must be pretty smart too. You just decided not manage your back-to-school spending to the same level you do your audio purchases, no less your car purchases. You'd walk out of a car dealer if you thought you were overpaying by $2800 for a vehicle you'd drive for 100K miles or more. You either actively manage something or you get what you get, and, my friend, it sounds like you've been blowing unnecessary thousands for years now. You're just well off enough that the overspending got lost in the noise, until you got directly involved.

As always Irv, you hit the nail, I think this is the issue, I HAD NO IDEA, I thought my wife was being as "frugal" {for lack of a better word} as I am, I mean she sees how I watch my money and get headaches over the math making sure investments make sense, and then all these years spending money like this with out me being aware makes me crazy.... She said it only got expensive the last few years, before that was 6th grade and everything was cheap, she said middle school and now high school got expensive... She didn't think it was a big deal because its "once a year", but I thought she was being thrifty with the school shopping because she makes our laundry detergent for gods sake, she hangs clothes to dry instead of using the dryer on nice days!!! She knits gifts for her friends that are having babies instead of buying gifts... I thought we were on the same page but her response is "my kids education doesn't have a spending cap" How the fk do I respond to that??????

 

[STRONGBADF1]

"I have to have what everyone else has to fit in and be cool." That has nothing to do with quality or value.

Sounds like A/V...



You're on the right track, Irv. Whatever you and your wife spend on the kids, just make sure they realize how much things cost and if they are getting value. If they had to work for the money, would they fork over the cash? It's not a sin to spend big on such things...but it is not to appreciate it. (In my book anyway)

Not to rub it in but, for the record, my wife spent $200 so far on back to school clothes for my soon to be 14 year old son. He picked out everything... All name brand... Nike, Under Armor, Adidas... One pair of Sneakers ($60), Four pairs of shorts, Five t-shirts and a six pack of socks. Still need to get gym clothes, school supplies and some pants for when Pennsylvania gets a little colder. (he probably wont wear them...) oh yea, a winter coat (read hoodie) since he's about 4" taller than last winter.

I agree with John, for the most part, on waiting to see what the other kids are wearing...

 

[ImcLoud]

Sounds like A/V...



You're on the right track, Irv. Whatever you and your wife spend on the kids, just make sure they realize how much things cost and if they are getting value. If they had to work for the money, would they fork over the cash? It's not a sin to spend big on such things...but it is not to appreciate it. (In my book anyway)

Not to rub it in but, for the record, my wife spent $200 so far on back to school clothes for my soon to be 14 year old son. He picked out everything... All name brand... Nike, Under Armor, Adidas... One pair of Sneakers ($60), Four pairs of shorts, Five t-shirts and a six pack of socks. Still need to get gym clothes, school supplies and some pants for when Pennsylvania gets a little colder. (he probably wont wear them...) oh yea, a winter coat (read hoodie) since he's about 4" taller than last winter.

I agree with John, for the most part, on waiting to see what the other kids are wearing...

I know there are places that sell name brand stuff, like B stock like tj macks, aj write, and others but I honestly didnt think of going to any of them. I was out of my element but NEXT year, NO FKN way I am going to be on this, I swear I thought about taking it all back when we got home, but I didn't want to go through the entire ordeal again, I don't know how my wife does it, try on 50 pairs of shoes to pick the ones they didnt try on, put a bunch of shirts in the carriage to then compare them with each other and throw out all the ones they picked the same of and not get them ones at all, so the one you and your brother liked, you both wont get? WTF, it was driving me crazy, my youngest picked 15 pairs of shorts, I am like "its going to be winter in a month, get some fkn pants", then after all that is said and done, a girl comes over to help me and says "why do you have 8 different sizes of pants and shirts?" I'm like "WTF, you guys are just picking stuff out that isn't even your size?" They said "I don't know what size I am" FKN SERIOUSLY??????!!!!!

So the girl grabbed another carriage put all of my youngest's clothes in one and the others in the other, measured them, and then got them all the correct sizes, then had them try a few things on, this was quite the process... I have taken them for haircuts, to buy shoes, and atv's but never to buy clothes for school... I almost don't care what it costs if I never have to do it again... But next year it will be different....
I honestly thought by going to Old Navy and target for some of the stuff I was keeping the cost down, imagine if I didn't do that, it would have been another $1000!!!!

 

[MidnightSensi2]

The kids be like..

 

[STRONGBADF1]

She took him to Kohls, D!ck's Sporting Goods and Boscov's (local department store chain...think J.C. Pennys). She is always on the look out at Marshalls & Ross and the like.


My wife and I both remember getting sneakers out of a large metal basket at the supermarket... Times , and tax brackets, have changed.

 

[MidnightSensi2]

She took him to Kohls, D!ck's Sporting Goods and Boscov's (local department store chain...think J.C. Pennys). She is always on the look out at Marshalls & Ross and the like.


My wife and I both remember getting sneakers out of a large metal basket at the supermarket... Times , and tax brackets, have changed.

Chuck Taylors. Good taste!

 

[sawzalot]

Chuck Taylors. Good taste!

Definitely not Chucks , more like BO BO's lol.

 

[sawzalot]

I just went to AC with my Wifey and shopped the outlet stores, many many bargains to be had on all types of clothing, the shopping in Atlantic City has come a long way for the better.

 

[Irvrobinson]

How the fk do I respond to that??????

Irv, lighten up. I like you just fine, but I'm sure you're a piece of work to be married to. I think she knows exactly what she's doing, and the woman who makes her own laundry detergent just wants to spoil the kids once a year. So it costs a few thousand dollars. You probably don't know your net worth to an accuracy of ten times what she splurges on this. How do you respond? You smile, suck it up, never mention it again, and try to control your OCD.

 

[ImcLoud]

Irv, lighten up. I like you just fine, but I'm sure you're a piece of work to be married to. I think she knows exactly what she's doing, and the woman who makes her own laundry detergent just wants to spoil the kids once a year. So it costs a few thousand dollars. You probably don't know your net worth to an accuracy of ten times what she splurges on this. How do you respond? You smile, suck it up, never mention it again, and try to control your OCD.

Touche, Irv, Touche...

I am sure I spent too much time thinking about this, and as my father told me at dinner tonight {he came over for cavatelli and sausage} "the kids deserve it, they're good boys, stop being a FKN baby"... I knew this would be the outcome if I mentioned it to him so I didn't, but when the kids were excused my wife couldn't wait to say it, her exact words "da' ask your son what his MAJOR Quandary was for the day" So my father said, "what is it now?" like I am some sort of child that makes a fuss over nothing. I explained the entire situation, how we are spending $3000 on school stuff... He said "so what" so I replied "WHAT, coming from the guy that wouldn't let us buy but a single pair of shoes a year" no matter what if my soles of my shoes split from the sneaker top he would glue them, until I could pay for my own!!!
he stated how money wasn't the same in their house as in mine and blah blah blah, like he worked so much harder than anyone in history walking through hot poison rain to get to work every day up hill and upside down each way... What ever.... I am the bad guy, I agreed to not bring it up again {with my wife} and I understand, and she agreed to not spend more than $1000 per child next year... Which makes me much happier because I don't want to go through that shopping trip ever again...

Before my father left he went upstairs to the kids rooms and they showed them their school clothes, when they came down, he said " it makes them happy, you should be happy you are able to do that, I still can't make you happy " so just a little more ammo to make me feel like Sh!t, not only am I a bad father and husband now I am a bad son... WTF...

 

[Chu Gai]

It's nice that you got them clothes and school supplies. What about birth control?

 

[mike c]

i stopped reading after the "tags still on clothes to be donated"

expensive is one thing, but wastage is a whole 'nother level. heads will roll if that happened in my house.

no one deserves to waste anything. even good kids or rich kids

i was brought up not to "lose/waste" a single cent.

i don't want to sound preachy, but let's just say, they grow up and they don't have the business chops you do ... the wasteful attitude will definitely overtake their money making capability.

it may make them happy now ... but you are doing them a disservice in the long run.

 

[MidnightSensi2]

Suggesting behaviors that we understand to be helpful is great, but ragging on ImcLoud (or anyone) isn't. A lot of these responses are surprisingly aggressive, judgmental, and dramatic. Money discussions can bring that out, since a lot of us are likely insecure about our own financials to some extent (at least I am at times haha).

Some thoughts:
-How we live, how we grew up, what works for us - might not be the same for everyone.

-Most of us "waste money" - and the definition is pretty fluid. Consumer spending in the US is mostly 'try and save on commodities but spend on luxury.' I do this. Don't know if its wrong, but, I get some pleasure from my luxury items like audio gear.. but the other day I was in some fancy market and wanted a coke and an apple - but due to the price I decided to wait until I got home. It wouldn't have made a difference in my life financially, but, it was just the principal and what I expect to pay.

-We're all human, and, life didn't come with an instruction manual. So, if we overspend, underspend, or simply just don't know.. that's okay. It's a learning process. We're all in it together. Let's not pretend to have all the answers, we might then be able to help more.

 

[billy p]

Hah...this thread however sad...is true.

Heck... I can almost live with the cost of clothes/shoes..its all the other expenses that add up. My 14yr old daughter had a school trip to BC and her Girl Guides group when to the UK this summer...cost was nearly 7.5k. My 12 yr son plays competitive ball. I've essentially needed to hire a pitching coach to assit with his mechanics/delivery... keeping his reps on going and ready to pitch when asked.


College is on the horizon... I know...but we're already going broke...lol.

 

[ImcLoud]

Suggesting behaviors that we understand to be helpful is great, but ragging on ImcLoud (or anyone) isn't. A lot of these responses are surprisingly aggressive, judgmental, and dramatic. Money discussions can bring that out, since a lot of us are likely insecure about our own financials to some extent (at least I am at times haha).

Some thoughts:
-How we live, how we grew up, what works for us - might not be the same for everyone.

-Most of us "waste money" - and the definition is pretty fluid. Consumer spending in the US is mostly 'try and save on commodities but spend on luxury.' I do this. Don't know if its wrong, but, I get some pleasure from my luxury items like audio gear.. but the other day I was in some fancy market and wanted a coke and an apple - but due to the price I decided to wait until I got home. It wouldn't have made a difference in my life financially, but, it was just the principal and what I expect to pay.

-We're all human, and, life didn't come with an instruction manual. So, if we overspend, underspend, or simply just don't know.. that's okay. It's a learning process. We're all in it together. Let's not pretend to have all the answers, we might then be able to help more.

Thanks bud, I am used to weeding out the comments that are fueled from anything besides wanting to be helpful, lol, I just smile and feel sorry for the authors of them... Believe it or not, I get a lot of down to earth feedback from some of the guys on this site, there are some that aren't as constructive and borderline disrespectful, but that comes with the entire "I'm safe in front of my PC, far from who ever this post may hurt" which if that makes them feel better about themselves, then so be it, I can't be hurt by anything said in an audiophile forum, now the snipershide forum, that's another story, I have met a bunch of them guys in person and have been a member there much longer than here, plus you piss off some of them cats and you would NEVER see the revenge coming, I've shot next to a couple that you would hear the shot before you felt it, lol...

Plus if you think I am passionate about music equipment you haven't seen anything yet, I have never spent more than $3000 on a single stereo system, while I have spent $20K on a single sniper rifle, and Hunting rifles, I would be embarrassed to mention the price of my last Blaser. And one could say, WTF you spend enough to buy a decent home in the midwest on a single rifle but complain about how much your kids clothes cost, BUT them are investments, I bought a rifle for $28K in 2011 that I sold for over $60K last year!!! Granted the few I shoot regularly are not going to have a return and cost money to upkeep but that is because they are my hobby...

 

[Adam]

...so just a little more ammo to make me feel like Sh!t, not only am I a bad father and husband now I am a bad son... WTF...

You're not even that good of a forum member.



J/K, man!

I haven't read all of the posts in depth, so maybe this has already been covered...to me, it comes down to figuring out why this bothers you. Do I think that's a s**t ton of cash to spend on clothes? Absolutely. But, I also think just about everything that you talk about is a s**t ton of cash. It's not about the actual amount or what it was spent on - it has to do with the percentage of your resources. I don't have your financial resources, and my family certainly didn't growing up, so I'm not conditioned to think about clothing costs like that. However, as a percentage, $3k to you might translate into something that I think is reasonable, and perhaps is even less (percentage wise) than we spent growing up.

You spend a lot of money on a lot of things. Getting a "good deal" doesn't mean that you didn't spend a lot for something you didn't need, whether you consider that frugal or not. There's something underlying why you thought it was too much to spend - figure that out, and I think the stress will go away. Maybe it's that you don't think clothes are that important? Or maybe clothes at that age aren't? I don't know. Something to consider, though - clothes to a high schooler can be just as important in terms of investment as a nice car is to you. You drive it everyday and want to be comfortable and confident - same for their clothes.

 

[ImcLoud]

Hah...this thread however sad...is true.

Heck... I can almost live with the cost of clothes/shoes..its all the other expenses that add up. My 14yr old daughter had a school trip to BC and her Girl Guides group when to the UK this summer...cost was nearly 7.5k. My 12 yr son plays competitive ball. I've essentially needed to hire a pitching coach to assit with his mechanics/delivery... keeping his reps on going and ready to pitch when asked.


College is on the horizon... I know...but we're already going broke...lol.

See I don't mind spending money on things like school trips {although a $7500 one has not come up yet} and their sports gear {no private coaches lol, they are not on that level}. Its just the clothes, now it has been a day so I am kind of over the shock of it, which is probably what my wife told the kids, "he will be over it tomorrow, ignore him" lol, and I am over it... Being home all the time now forces me to find something to "deal with" , not looking for drama by any means, but looking for something to do, I dug up and replanted the plants by our front walk 4 times in that last 2 months... I am going crazy, i almost played a video game last week... I am running out of music to listen to, lol...

 

[Rickster71]

It's the scary and hidden parts of inflation and how powerful marketing is.
I won't get into the marketing part of this.
Check out this:Inflation Calculator | Find US Dollar's Value from 1913-2014
Prices have been slowly creeping up to the point of being ridiculous.

Oh, it gets better. The price of raising a child is unbelievable: Average cost to raise a kid: $241,080 - Aug. 14, 2013
"Child care costs have soared dramatically since the first report 53 years ago. Back then, a middle-income family could have expected to spend $25,230 ($198,560 in 2013 dollars) to raise a child until the age of 18. Housing was the top cost for parents back then, too."

 

[Rickster71]

We really have to see it to believe it.
From 1774 through 2009 the U.S. dollar has lost about 96.4% of its buying power.
The Declining Value of the Dollar

 

[herbu]

My granddad was the wealthiest person I have ever known. I remember visiting once as a kid. After a dinner of filets and lobster, he sat down in his easy chair, with his shoeshine kit, and started shining his shoes. I asked him, "Granddaddy, why do you shine your own shoes when you can give the shoeshine boy 25 cents to do it?". He replied, "Why should I pay 25 cents for something I can do myself?". I always remembered it. Didn't always follow it, but remembered.

My solution to the problem of expensive kids... DINK. Duel Income, No Kids.

ImcLoud, I think you answered your own question. You're used to making decisions. As the boss, you dictate the actions of others, or at least influence them. Lately you're bored and looking for a problem to fix. You saw an opportunity and took it. If you remember, next year please tell us what happens. There are a number of things my wife does differently than I would. But SHE does them, which means I don't have to. Taking kids clothes shopping is one thing I would be willing to pay a significant amount NOT to do. By next year, the memory of the shopping experience may far outweigh the memory of a couple thousand bucks, and you decide to simply shut up and let her handle it. I would.