Okay... got it done. Basically 5 hours of f-ing around. In case anyone is doing a fresh HTPC build and doesn't understand nor appreciate the rawness of Linux...I'll do my best to spare you the torture of how to get your second raw drive up and running. The boot drive is simple and perfect by running the OpenElec boot USB. It does everything for you. The second drive.. not so easy so here's what you do.
Forget all the command line, terminal windows nonsense. You need to use a program called GParted... actually GParted Live. You have to make bootable USB drive with GParted Live on it.
It's a bit tricky so here are the steps:
1) Download the GParted .ISO file and save it somewhere.
http://gparted.sourceforge.net/liveusb.php
2) You should download a program call TUXBOOT. This executable allows you to select the .ISO and create a bootable USB automatically. It's kinda self-explanatory once you stare at it awhile. This link:
Tuxboot - Screenshots was fairly helpful. Just make sure you select the GParted Live distribution because Tuxboot works for other stuff as well. One FYI note here. As with a lot of sites like this, they do a lot of advertising and so there are like 500 million Download buttons. Make sure you're downloading the actual Tuxboot file and not clicking on to a cleverly disguised add like I did in my frustration. I ended up downloading a bunch of stupid little programs that took me about 30 minutes to undo. Don't be like me... pay attention.
3) Insert the USB and turn on your HTPC. Boot to the USB go through a couple quick understandable questions which will then open you up to the GParted menu.
4) From there.. I followed the directions from this link and it worked flawlessly.
Partitioning and Formatting a 3TB Harddrive as NTFS within Ubuntu ~ Ridikulouse
Now when I boot up to XMBC which only takes about 22 seconds even after setting the system to delay for the network to lock-in, I can see the 3tb drive in the hardware menu of XMBC.
Now... I have to figure out what to do from here... how to setup the folders... point to the folders... syntax for filenames... all that. Now I'm back to the fun part because about 30 minutes ago I was about to heave the machine into the pool.
ONE SERIOUS ISSUE REMAINS: The image is overscanning on my screen. Even the BIOS screen is being cutoff about a half inch or so on all sides... just enough that I can't make out the text. it's bit problematic. I thought it was something I could fix in XMBC, but I think its some other issue since it's even at the general image output level like BIOS. Definitely need help with that.
Right now I have the HTPC hooked direct to the TV. I don't see any TV setup options to help with the issue. I'm going to button up the machine and get it setup in my cabinet and hooked up the Pioneer. I'll go from there.