The most ridiculous audio business I have seen yet.

S

shadyJ

Speaker of the House
Staff member
Is this a joke? This has to be a joke. Come on, someone reassure me this is a joke.

I stumbled on to this webpage that ostensibly sells a $1,000,000 speaker cable. At first I thought it was a joke page, but as I navigated their site, I think it might actually be serious.

My god, I think they are serious.
 
avliner

avliner

Audioholic Chief
No more saving money, me says! I've finally found the Holy Grail in terms of power cord, so I'm willing to grab a couple, just for kicks ;):p:D
 
gmichael

gmichael

Audioholic Spartan
That $1,000,000 price is for factory direct only. If you were to buy these from, say a distributor, it would cost $2,000,000. (Are these US dollars or Swiss dollars?)
 
F

fmw

Audioholic Ninja
After you have bought your outrageously expensive cables that won't improve sound you get a pair of these to tweak them at a bargain price.
 
3db

3db

Audioholic Slumlord
I wonder if they hold their residual value.. :p My thinking is... buy them after a year or two for next to nothing.. ;)
 
Pyrrho

Pyrrho

Audioholic Ninja
For the power cable, that $1 million is retail price. The factory direct price is $500,000. And the special introductory offer is only $15,000. There is some silliness in their construction, but they probably work fine. So the ridiculousness is mostly the price.

For the speaker cables, the $1 million is retail price. The factory direct price is $500,000. And the special introductory offer is only $20,000. There is some silliness in their construction, but they probably work fine. So the ridiculousness is mostly the price.

They also sell things that do absolutely nothing:

VibraPortal Heaven's Gate

Granted, that is much cheaper, but is it more ridiculous to have something that does nothing, or to overpay for something that can actually be used for something?


How about a device to trim the edges off of your CDs and other optical discs:

AUDIO DESK CD SOUND IMPROVING SYSTEM at Music Direct

With that, one might be able to break the seal on the aluminum substrate, and cause it to oxidize, and ruin one's disc collection. You can do this for only $999.

I wonder how many fools are parted from their money with such things.
 
F

fmw

Audioholic Ninja
With that, one might be able to break the seal on the aluminum substrate, and cause it to oxidize, and ruin one's disc collection. You can do this for only $999.
But, but, but This 60-second process results in pronounced improvements in focus, transient attack, detail and transparency.
 
theJman

theJman

Audioholic Chief
I stumbled on to this webpage that ostensibly sells a $1,000,000 speaker cable. At first I thought it was a joke page, but as I navigated their site, I think it might actually be serious.
But it's sold by a company named Coconut Audioshop - how can you not take them seriously? ;) Perhaps it's really 1,000,000 Peso's or something, so it's like $9 instead.
 
N

noahl

Audiophyte
I happened to look at the specs on a couple and saw this - Alien crystal formula to reject RFI/EMI and clean noise Yeah, I'm pretty sure some green martian crystal WILL make my speakers sound better! :rolleyes:
 
A

avengineer

Banned
Not to one-up anyone, but have a look at this:

Audio, Room Acoustics, Vibration Isolation, Springs, Crystals,

I particularly like this tweak...

Audio Acccessories - Teleportation Tweak, Long Distance Telephone

"Teleportation Tweak is independent of distance and will work anywhere in the world you happen to be located. We have performed The Teleportation Tweak many times for distances between 1000 and 4000 miles, even for distances greater than 10,000 miles. The Teleportation Tweak works equally well using your landline phone or cell phone.

The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound and video picture: (1) Clearer, (2) More information, (3) Greater frequency extension and (4) Lower distortion. The Teleportation Tweak is obtained during a phone call to Machina Dynamica from your landline phone or cell phone; you can make the call from any room in your house. The audio or video system does not have to be ON at the time the call is made. The tweak itself takes about 20 seconds and will sound like a series of mechanical pulses.

The Teleportation Tweak will also improve any video system in your house, including plasma, LED, and high end projection systems -- better contrast, color saturation, color fidelity and definition. "


And, just to wrap up...
Elemental Voice Hi-Fi Products

Sadly, the original Electret Cream site is down now, but here's a review of the stuff:
Audiolics Anonymous Chapter 152: Tweaks Again including the PWB Cream Electret. Article By Dr. Bill Gaw
 
S

shadyJ

Speaker of the House
Staff member
Lol, say what you want about that Machina Dynamica stuff, at least they aren't charging $10K for anything. I don't know if the scale of the fraud necessarily lessens the stupidity of it though.

At first I thought that whole Coconut website was a satire like your Elemental Voice link, but, with growing horror, I gradually realized that they were seriously selling that stuff as I was looking through the site.

Btw, reading review for that electret cream made me want to cringe. I couldn't even finish it. And to see Stereophile promote this nonsense! That has to be a low point for them (I hope).
 
A

avengineer

Banned
Lol, say what you want about that Machina Dynamica stuff, at least they aren't charging $10K for anything. I don't know if the scale of the fraud necessarily lessens the stupidity of it though.

At first I thought that whole Coconut website was a satire like your Elemental Voice link, but, with growing horror, I gradually realized that they were seriously selling that stuff as I was looking through the site.
I'm still not sure that it's not satire, though, even if it looks like you could actually buy stuff. That just makes it funnier.
Btw, reading review for that electret cream made me want to cringe. I couldn't even finish it. And to see Stereophile promote this nonsense! That has to be a low point for them (I hope).
The original Stereophile mention was in the April issue. I thought it was an elaborate April Fool's gag, but nope...been around for years. I stand corrected, though, the site is still up:
P.W.B. Cream - Electret

Don't miss the chance to click on the "Home" link to see the full site. I admit to not having read much there. I fill up on Blue Smoke kinda quick.
 
F

fmw

Audioholic Ninja
Ah yes, Machina Dynamica. They've been around a long time. You've got to love their motto "We Do Artificial Atoms Right." I wonder why they don't get serious and get a professionally designed web site. It is all so amateurish and the audiophiles are a fairly prosperous group on average.
 
cpp

cpp

Audioholic Ninja
Wow I heard if you crush Viagra into a powder and then coat your speaker cable terminals ends, it will make the midrange and treble notes stand out more:eek::D

Anyway, I always loved the wording for 'Brilliant Pebbles' " Brilliant Pebbles is a unique and comprehensive system for tuning the room and audio system based on special physical properties of highly symmetrical crystal structures."The original glass bottles for Brilliant Pebbles have been replaced by clear zip lock bags, which have a more linear response than glass http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina31.htm
 
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slipperybidness

slipperybidness

Audioholic Warlord
But it's sold by a company named Coconut Audioshop - how can you not take them seriously? ;) Perhaps it's really 1,000,000 Peso's or something, so it's like $9 instead.
+1

When I see "Coconut Audio" and these silly cables and products, I immediately think about Monty Python and the Holy Grail and the scene where you can see the horse-trot sound effects being produced by clacking coconut shells together.

Silly cables, silly movie, easy to connect the 2.
 
cpp

cpp

Audioholic Ninja
+1

When I see "Coconut Audio" and these silly cables and products, I immediately think about Monty Python and the Holy Grail and the scene where you can see the horse-trot sound effects being produced by clacking coconut shells together.

Silly cables, silly movie, easy to connect the 2.
Funny movie just good clean fun [video=youtube;eOfI88NKRzY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOfI88NKRzY[/video]
 

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