Interesting responses, thank you all!
I agree that the staff at some (most?) of the shops I've gone to in SF have been happy to talk a lot and sample things in the store but when it comes to trying things out at home, not so much. I even bought an Arcam receiver that exhibited issues with HDMI – I've actually had 2 separate arcam receivers that did the same thing: they'd lose the audio from the Apple TV randomly from time to time – and wasn't able to get anything other than store credit for it and even that, with a restocking fee which more than a little annoying… To be fair to the store owner, we did test the receiver in the store for a long time, the owner even left it running with my Apple TV for a full day and didn't notice the issue, but once I got the receiver home, I did experience the issue…
I wonder if the liability on high end audio equipment is just too high to rent things out. I imagine that owners have done the math on this sort of thing and figured it's too different a business to be worth it. I just kinda wish I could find a store when I could rent the fancy hifi speakers for a week or two before deciding to buy.
Cheers!