Roger Ebert will never get laid with that kind of attitude. He's too old, too old to understand. He's what, like 800 years old by now? Who even listens to him to pick a movie now anyways? I remember the show, and I remember when it changed to "Ebert, Ropert, and the Movies" or something like that. Neither of them knew what the hell they were watching anyway. They gave two thumbs down to a lot of good movies and said bad movies were awesome. He is a tool.
Speaking of arguing making a cheeseburger is an art form, it truly is, and I wish I could show you guys just how talented I am in the field.