Trash Can Root-Cause Analysis 101

[Nomo]

This morning, as usual on trash day, I took the trash cans out to the curb.
To my surprise and disgust I found several dozen maggots squirming around where the cans were.

I hate maggots.

Really hate maggots.

I'd eat a bowl of spiders before touching a maggot.

Anyway...
The trash cans are plastic, Rubbermade, about 7 years old.

I presumed that the reason the wrigley little b-stards were on the floor was the combination of holes in the bottom of the cans in combination with the scraps from the chicken we had earlier in the week.

Not so fast. Not the root cause. Lets dig deeper.

The ensuing conversation:

Me: Honey, we had maggots in the garage. I cleaned 'em up but I'm gonna stop after work and get some new cans.

Girlfriend: OK. I've looked for just the covers but no one sells those alone. The ones out there don't fit tight any more.

Me: I don't think it's the covers. The flies are gonna get in there any way 'cause you know the kids will still leave the covers off. I think the problem is the holes in the bottoms of the cans.

Why are there holes in the cans?

From dragging them on the driveway.

OK, make sure to get the ones with wheels,

Yup. (swowley I turn towards the doow)

Don't the cans we have now have wheels?

Yup.

Why are you dragging them?

Just happens sometimes.

So the maggots were there because of the holes?

Yup.

And the holes are there because you drag the cans?

Yup.

Maybe you shouldn't drag them.

Yup.

Problem: Maggots in garage.

Solution: Shoot me in the head.

 

[Adam]

Interesting story, my man. I found myself strangely engaged and following the flow, eagerly awaiting the outcome. I couldn't put it down. A true page turner.

Seriously, thanks. I liked the story.

 

[Rickster71]

An interesting story to say the least; a lot of symbolism there.
The holes in the cans represent, mans inhumanity toward his fellow man.
The dragging of the pails, instead of using the wheels; shows the drag, that fossil fuels have on our environment....
The other possibility, you simply have bugs in the garage.....you'd better get that checked.

 

[Davemcc]

You are truly a blessed man. Let me explain.

You have holes in your garbage cans because your wife drags them to the curb. Ergo, your wife takes out the garbage while you watch TV and drink beer. No problem there.

 

[Haoleb]

did you know that if you raise maggots in a little jar and then wait until there is a bunch of them and then pour bleach in the jar that it bubbles and foams and smokes a little?

Its pretty cool. I know.

 

[Nomo]

did you know that if you raise maggots in a little jar and then wait until there is a bunch of them and then pour bleach in the jar that it bubbles and foams and smokes a little?

Its pretty cool. I know.

As fun as that sounds I think I'll stick to raisng them in the garage.

New cans a are here. I'll do my best to not drag these.

 

[jamie2112]

Your girlfriend and my wife are the same person........