Not a conspiracy theorist yet?
What a reasonable request! But as far as I know, no one in the industry has such a product--an all in one with just two speakers. It certainly could be done, because my DVD player has "virtual surround" that is supposed to mimick all those extra speakers with just a stereo pair.
In my case, I got a separate DVD/CD player, connected it to the TV, then got a plain old stereo receiver and speakers and ran the sound in from the audio outs on the TV, and turned off the internal speakers in the TV audio setup menu. When I play a CD I do have to have the TV on, but not for FM, since that doesn't go thru the TV. And keep in mind, to get "sound effect" type bass out of two speakers, they're going to have to be large. You might want to consider the advantage of two small satellites with a subwoofer (which you can hide--location doesn't matter for bass). So, I still have three remote controls: the TV, the DVD/CD player, and the stereo receiver.
Yeah, I know, it's a conspiracy.