This is getting completely out of hand

Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
Just got one of these in the mail. It's a new Gillete Fusion 6 blade razor. 5 in the front, 1 in the rear. You can use the one in the rear to cut your jugular once you find out what refills cost. :D

http://www.gillette.com/men/index_fusion.htm

The refills run $15 for 4, or $28 for 8. :eek: :eek: :eek:

No wonder Gillete gives these out for free - one cartridge, no refill!
 
jonnythan

jonnythan

Audioholic Ninja
**** Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

By James M. Kilts
CEO and President,
The Gillette Company
February 18, 2004 | Issue 40•07
James M. Kilts

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the ****ing vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, **** it. We're going to five blades.

Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe. Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!

You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a ****. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game. Are they the best a man can get? ****, no. Gillette is the best a man can get.

What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best ****ing razor that ever existed. Comprende? We didn't claw our way to the top of the razor game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.

Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my *** with it. They don't tell me what to invent—I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there. I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!

You're taking the "safety" part of "safety razor" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it. Let's roll. This is our chance to make razor history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen. If you aren't on board, then **** you. And if you're on the board, then **** you and your father. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade razor becomes the shaving tool for the U.S. of "this is how we shave now" A.

People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?" Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Norelco, working on ****ing electrics. Rotary blades, my white ***!

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Bic's wake and make pens. Ha! Not on your ****ing life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like Bic is the day I leave the razor game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!

The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. It's as easy as, "Hey, shaving with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet." Or "You'll be so smooth, I could snort lines off of your chin." Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a ******* Cub Scout kerchief under it."

I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?! Grow the **** up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top. Which Gillette is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.

Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that ****er, too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers. It's a whole new way to think about shaving. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edge—the razor's edge—and I feel like dancing.

[copied from The Onion at http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 ]
 
Buckeyefan 1

Buckeyefan 1

Audioholic Ninja
Gillette Fusion

JT,

That is priceless! I think I'll wipe my a** with the $1 off coupons that came with the razor. At $4 a pop, guys may start going Neanderthal.
 
highfihoney

highfihoney

Audioholic Samurai
Haha

best G@# D&## laugh ive had in a long time:D
 
Sheep

Sheep

Audioholic Warlord
Last time I checked Gillette owned every company having do to with shaving.

SheepStar
 
jonnythan

jonnythan

Audioholic Ninja
Sheep said:
Last time I checked Gillette owned every company having do to with shaving.

SheepStar
Like Shick, Norelco, and Remington?
 

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