If you are going to design and build a seat that will recline, then you have to have it high enough to support the head in the reclined position. Otherwise it would be a disaster that would be uncomfortable and dangerous.
Now most reclining theater chairs will go close to flat, so I would have thought your wife would be happy with that.
The next issue is proper installation of surrounds and rear backs.
I should point out that if you have more than one row of seats they need to be tiered. That is a must both for viewing and acoustics.
The tweeter of the surrounds, and the rear backs should be 60" above the tier over which they are situated. That is Dolby spec. I can assure you, that if you follow the rules it works out perfectly. I admit that the acoustics demand that in this design the chair be reclined at least to some extent. For most that is comfortable.
Good theater chairs are expensive, and I think these manufacturers consider, that their theater chairs are going to be installed in higher end HT rooms.
For our theater we selected the El Ran Finn chairs made in Canada. We have been very pleased with them. They are very comfortable, well built and finished.
The problem with really good HT systems is that they really do require custom rooms for optimal results and comfort, for most that is usually out of the question.
I have come to believe that home legacy architecture is the largest impediment to excellent results. That is certainly what I have come up against when trying to help friends. The fact is that a home remodel, often should be considered part of the budget for a myriad of reasons. Not the least is the installation of the required infrastructure to support current and future technology.
I have built two home theaters now, and I have to say it is seriously hard work following extensive planning.
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