Sham-OWWWW!!

[Now Slappy]

Our old friend Vince Offer looks like he may have met his match....

Originally Posted by Smoking Gun
According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

Focus: Discuss a time you rose to quasi-celebrity status shilling products only to have your tongue bitten by a psychotic prostitute whom you had to repeatedly punch into the face to make her let go.

Alt Focus: Does this make Vince more or less likable?

2nd Alt Focus: What would Billy Mays have done?

 

[Adam]

I once used my wealth of chicklets to persuade a lady of the night back to my place. She bit my tongue, wouldn't let go, and demanded that I give her rep. The twist - she hadn't planned on me liking it. Sucker.

 

[Davemcc]

That's why you NEVER kiss a prostitute. Dude didn't learn anything from watching Pretty Woman.

 

[Seth=L]

prostitute = no romance ergo, not to be kissed.

 

[aberkowitz]

I wonder how the Sham Wow works for "bedroom-related" cleanup??

 

[Adam]

I wonder how the Sham Wow works for "bedroom-related" cleanup??

Good question. Disturbing - but good.

It also makes me wonder if that guy is able to pull off any trick photography in the bedroom.

 

[Now Slappy]

And Billy Mays is giggling all the way to the bank.

And for the record, the Sham-Wow is horrible! My wife bought it and they have literally disintegrated.

By comparison however, the Snuggie was a great purchase. She loves it and uses it every night while watching TV after the kids go to bed. And when my girls make pillow forts out of the couch cushions, it's like having built in skylights.

 

[mperfct]

good for a laugh, thanks for the read!

 

[mudrummer99]

An off-shoot of this, has anyone seen the commercials for the new reality show "Pitchmen"? Stars Billy Mays and some other guy, and no, I'm not kidding.

Mike

 

[MatthewB.]

Police detective: Hmmm strange case, found a hooker in an alley who apperas to have been strangled with a yellow "shammy" towel like cloth and another yellow towel like device down her throat. Strange case.

 

[Nemo128]

I guess she didn't love his nuts.

 

[MatthewB.]

If his had happened to Billy Mays, he would've killed the hooker and found a way to market it somehow.

"Ever have a dead hooker stinking up your trunk space, well your troubles are over. Introducing "Ho-B-Gone" this miraculous new product is great for getting out stank stench, lipstick stains and that occasional pesky DNA evidence. You just add two tablespoons to a barrell of water and viola the enzymes in "Ho-B-Gone" turn ordinary tap water into a highly acidic battery acid that is 20 times more powerful than Acid, Lye and bleach combined. But wait if you order now, you not only get one bottle of "Ho-B-Gone" but we'll also toss in a bottle of "Naggin-Beyatch-B-Gone" and give you a guarantee that if brought in for questioning, we wil give you an air tight alabi at no extra charge.....Order NOW!!!!" - Billy M.