My main speakers are capable of about 120db, which is literally ear shattering. At my most rambunctious listening level these days, I aim to not listen over 87db. I bought a DB meter and cross reference that against the volume control level, for my own sake, more than anything else. All of my speakers I own are capable of 95 or more db, some of which are only rated at say, 75 WRMS, and some, 500 WRMS.
Todays speakers tend to be much more neutral than consumer grade offerings of the past, and can fool your ears to how loud they actually are, just for lack of audible distortion alone. Still, I know not to go past a certain level. I also check sound pressure levels outside on shared property lines so I don't violate noise ordinances when I feel like partying into the late hours on weekends, so I know the level on the volume control for that as well. No, it's not perfect, but still well within the speakers limits.
After playing around with the meter for a spell, I have pretty much conditioned myself to what 87db sounds/feels like no matter where I am, and I even surprise myself with just how close I can guess what I am listening at without even seeing the volume setting. I can even tell when I start to hit my sweet spot for personal reference level, which starts pretty much precisely at 84db at my main listening position.
