I am Child-Man, Hear me Roxor!

[admin]

Kay "Fun-Sponge" Hymowitz wrote an editorial about child-men. In short - we suck. Apparently we are not living up to our "potential". For some reason, some women feel the need to domesticate their men (Ms. Hymowitz says as much in her editorial) which invariably consists of driving anything fun out of their lives. Woman, let me say this plainly, you'll pry the remote out of my cold dead hands...

Discuss "I am Child-Man, Hear me Roxor!" here. Read the article.

 

[Halon451]

LOL - Holy crap, I love it. Of course if the wife knew this she would kill me...

 

[Warpdrv]

Heh... Although I have never been married at 40, I can certainly see the validity of the article, I watch as more and more marriages crumble with the very attitude of women not accepting the man child ways... I have managed on my own to juggle a 60-70 hour work week, raise my son on my own for 12 years, secure a modest home and still find time to play with all my toys and build the HT's and various home systems extremely well... but then again, I am a motivated individual, and I can't say that of all man-child's...


Great article... thanks

 

[Djizasse]

I totally agree with the article.

I'll wait for a woman that realizes that a man is someone that holds a good job, takes care of his responsibilities, and loves and respects his wife regardless of what he does in his free time.

I've been through this many times, and i think the problem is due to the fact that they don't understand our world of big boys toys, be it online gaming, audio/video stuff, or another unknown thing to them. A man in front of a TV all day is just a man, but another one playing video games is a kid.

...take a close look at the headlines ... someone lamenting that our children are being corrupted by video games or lured onto the Internet or exposed to dangerous ideas through innocent looking comic books. Well, who better to protect a child than a child-man? I can practically guarantee that there is no chance my child will be able to pull the, "But Grand Theft Auto is just a racing game," stunt with me. Not a chance. I'll know more about video games than he/she will!

I haven't thought about this in this way, it's a very nice side-effect and an excellent point.

 

[markw]

Her husband must be a barrel of laughs.

 

[Seth=L]

"Enjoy your divorce."

Epic.

 

[crashkelly]

I agree completely with the article and thanks for the good laugh

I'll wait for a woman that realizes that a man is someone that holds a good job, takes care of his responsibilities, and loves and respects his wife regardless of what he does in his free time.

I will completely admit that I am a man-child, and will always be one, but I have a decent job, I am responsible (most of the time ), love my partner dearly, and enjoy doing what I want with my free time, although I more often than not involve my two boys in it whether it be gaming, movie watching, woodworking, or house renos. I enjoy be the man with them, but I also love being a kid with them.

...take a close look at the headlines ... someone lamenting that our children are being corrupted by video games or lured onto the Internet or exposed to dangerous ideas through innocent looking comic books. Well, who better to protect a child than a child-man? I can practically guarantee that there is no chance my child will be able to pull the, "But Grand Theft Auto is just a racing game," stunt with me. Not a chance. I'll know more about video games than he/she will!

Aboslutely!! My wife is pretty clueless about this stuff. Not a week goes by that I don't get a look of shock from her about some of the stuff that is out there, bad, good, or otherwise. My boys have tried the "but it is only a ...... game" with me and they get nowhere as most of the time I have played and finished the game they are talking about (shhhhh... don't tell my wife ). They are just starting out on the Internet as of late and I am right up front with them about the crap that is out there and it is out there and it is everywhere.

Contribute as much (if not more) to our family's anual income

Damn straight. My wife makes almost twice as much as I do and I make a not bad salary. We both contribute to the family, we both contribute to the home, we both contribute to retirement, and I contribute to my child-like tendencies. I save my money and I buy "extras" for myself and my boys.

From my perspective, we, men, now get to take a breathe and relax. Back in the 40's, 50's, ...., it was all up to us. Don't get me wrong, women had a hell of a job being at home as the homemaker and caring for the kids and for that they should be commended. We, men, had to support the family, had to put the bread on the table, had to put the clothes on the back and the shoes on the feet, it was all up to us. Now it is different. We, men, are still responsible for the above, but we can share that responsbility with our wife, and vice versa. I enjoy doing housework (clean freak ), and cooking, and raising my boys, just as I know she enjoys working at what she does. I know I relish in the thought that it is not all up to me (in terms of money) and it does allow me to take that breath and relax. Now, I am not old enough to have experienced the 40's, 50's, ...., but I have been in that situation where it was solely up to me to bring the dollars through the door and believe me, it is terrible stress.
(Please do not take the above as "men had it harder" or anything along those lines as that was not my intent)

Again, great article that I think speaks volumes about some of society today. I am all for the empowerment of women, they deserve it, are entitled to it, and I love the fact that my wife can and will do things for herself.

When my wife asks me, "Don't you want more?" I look around at my kids, my wife, my home, and my toys, and reply "Why? I am happy" give her a kiss and then proceed to take the movie/game off pause.

Cheers and long live the child-man
Michael

 

[Tom Andry]

Great comments all. I should have put something in the editorial about online poker. That really is a big thing right now that I don't participate in. I would but being online all day doesn't exactly make me want to sit in front of a computer any longer than I absolutely have to.

 

[jinjuku]

From the article:

"Give young men a choice between serious drama on the one hand, and Victoria's Secret models, battling cyborgs, exploding toilets and the NFL on the other, and it's the models, cyborgs, toilets and football by a mile."

I have had my fill of 'Serious Drama'. Why should that be the alternative? What I need less of is 'Serious Drama'. Does the author know what she means by 'Serious Drama'?

Also:

" It's 1965, and you're a 26-year-old white guy. You have a factory job, or maybe you work for an insurance broker. Either way, you're married, probably have been for a few years now; you met your wife in high school, where she was in your sister's class. You've already got one kid, with another on the way. For now, you're renting an apartment in your parents' two-family house, but you're saving up for a three-bedroom ranch house in the next town. Yup, you're an adult!

Now meet the 21st-century you, also 26. You've finished college and work in a cubicle in a large Chicago financial-services firm. You live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face – and then it's off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes. Wife? Kids? House? Are you kidding? "

Hello, in 1965 you could as a man:

1. Have a high school diploma and get a killer paying job w/ benefits and guaranteed retirement. Hell by the time you're 26 you have 6 or 7 years of seniority. This means you started working for GM in 1959.

2. As a women, it most likely sucked unless you went to college.

So my next question is this: What is exactly wrong? I don't mind the article from the point of observation, but what is the actual point? If you want to know why there are all these 26-34 year old SYM, ask all the 18-25 SYF. They are doing the same.

 

[Halon451]

So my next question is this: What is exactly wrong? I don't mind the article from the point of observation, but what is the actual point?

I think the point is what we (as men) already know as the 3 basic stages of a Man's Life:


SINGLE



MARRIED



DIVORCED




....And now I must go arm myself, because my wife looks in on my AH activities from time to time.

 

[MDS]

I laughed out loud at the Lion pics. That was too funny.

 

[pzaur]

I think that article is a load of absolute crap! Funny, in a satirical way. This should have been posted on The Onion. It would have gotten more readership and probably more discussion.

To quote the writer:
"It is marriage and children that turn boys into men."
-And what turns girls into women?
Just being a responsible adult who is courteous and respectful doesn't make a man a man?

A very biased article that only spews half or less of the actual issues with her statistics that are used:

" Consider: In 1970, 69 percent of 25-year-old and 85 percent of 30-year-old white men were married; in 2000, only 33 percent and 58 percent were, respectively. And the percentage of young guys tying the knot is declining as you read this. Census Bureau data show that the median age of marriage among men rose from 26.8 in 2000 to 27.5 in 2006 – a dramatic demographic shift for such a short time period."

Might the fact that the numbers shifted so much be that it is the WOMEN who are postponing marriage so they can have a career and have stopped feeling that women have to be married to be considered a "woman"? So, for a man to be a man we have to be married and sired children, but not so for a woman?

-pat

 

[Thaedium]

Read both Kay Hymowitz and Tom Andry's articles. Interesting reads, both.

I'm 23, I have a daughter, but no marriage. I have a home theatre, I rent out one of the rooms in my house to a co-worker. I work for the military.

I consider myself a child-man, by many of the standards Kay has used to define one. I'll tell you what childmen are doing from my perspective as one, and one who works with many others and socializes with many others on a daily basis.

We are fighting the wars Kay's "Men" have started. Her oh so great and responsible golf playing men who created conflicts overseas have us child-men fighting and dying on a near daily basis overseas in Afghanistan and Iraq. While they are "responsibly" educated, married, family orientated, and guiding our nations into combat operations overseas it is us "child-men" who are being employed there and executing combat operations.

I never finished high-school, I never had any interest. I did however have an interest in the military from a young age, I was naive and bought into the idea of camaraderie with fellow young men by working in a tough job. I was disillusioned of that notion real quick, and it started in battle school for the infantry. It became painfully obvious once I was settled in a battalion after awhile as well. What became obvious was that I had volunteered to work ridiculously hard for another mans benefit, with very little compensation for it to boot. I'm not saying I regret my choices, far from it, nor am I saying that the military is a bad place or job. I'm saying that its a type of tool being used by these so-called "men" to play their own games with, on a larger and more fearsome scale then any xbox360 game.

Child-men employed in the military come back from their tours overseas and have done more "growing-up" then any marriage and child will give you. The quick and haunting realization that any neglect on your part in any responsibility you have while overseas could easily lead to fatal consequences for yourself and others will make you responsible, or dead if you can't handle it. The fact is, this so-called "growing up" doesn't make you any better of a person then one who hasn't had this sort of responsibilty placed on their shoulders. Nor does having a wife, and children make child-men into men, and by virtue of this miraculous transformation you become somehow a better person.

Kay is venting a frustration with society on men, or as she sees some of them. With no regard for cultural changes in the last 50 years that Tom and others here have pointed out. Frankly, it disgusts me. I have no care to answer for my actions to someone who blatantly chooses to ignore the bigger picture. When I train all day to employ "speed, aggression, and violence in a controlled manner" and to "close with, and destroy the enemy" at the end of the day, if I want to sit down in my living room, in my house that I pay for with my hard earned money. If I want to pop open a beer, sit back and play some xbox, or blast some songs on my speakers, again, all of which I payed for with my own money, then I damn well will. And if Kay really has a problem with this, I'll be more then happy to place a rifle in her hands and bring her along with me to Afghanistan the next time my unit gets the go-ahead. Afterwards, I'll be happy to look her in the eye, provided she has lived through the ordeal, and ask her if all she wants to do now is slave all hours of the day and night to provide for her family, or if just maybe she wants to spend a few hours of her day taking it easy. Even for those guys that don't have the responsibility of family yet, I can't blame those guys for wanting nothing but some peace and quiet and some careless entertainment at the end of the day.

Never presume to judge our frivolties, its our choice, our free-will, and our damned right to do it. I sure as hell don't judge hers, nor do I care what she does.

 

[Sheep]

This article doesn't really apply to me.

SheepStar

 

[fredk]

Too funny Halon451, though divorce actually has two stages.

Poor Kay, she wanted a world full of Ken-doll cutouts but found that real men tend to be a little more independant.

She and my ex can commiserate while I go and play with my toys .

Most younger men and women I talk to who have avoided divorce did so because of the mess their parents made of their lives, not a lack of responsibility or maturity.

Marriage, career, kids and houses are not signs of maturity, they are things and markers. Having kids does not make one mature, growing up with them for 15 or 20 years does tend to mature one though.

I think that spending a year in someplace like Iraq and seeing the level of depravity which human kind is capable of is a much more sobering and maturing experience than graduating from school and spending a few years working at some 'career'.

Kay completely misses the point on so many levels.

Now, 'scuse me while I climb back to the top of my little hill, roar a little and play with my toys before I have to go back to work.

Fred

 

[10010011]

If anything symbolizes the child-man to me, it is home theater. While I may argue against this often, you can make the case that no one needs a home theater (they do, they really do). A home theater is a decidedly "guy" thing at this time. Are women getting interested? Oh yeah. More and more every day. While guys are inherently drawn to the technology, women need to be introduced to it slowly. But I've found that once they are, they are hooked.

I guess we really are a nontraditional couple. My wife was the one who wanted to get a home theater system.

A TV/VCR combo served me well for years and I did not see the point in spending all that much money when I rarely watch movies. But I got make the buying decisions simply because I understand the technology better.

I have to admit I do like the HDTV picture, and the Tivo was my idea originally.

Now she is pining for a projector...