Sounds like a cable/connection problem.
What player is it? What cable is it?
I would first ascertain that the connections are good...hmdi tends to loosen itself. If that fails try a different cable.
Finally, since you have witnessed a glimmer of a connection, it sounds like a cable or booster issue rather than a handshake issue. That is, a cheap, long hdmi cable is prone to failure. A simple way to see if it is a cable length issue is to get an inexpensive 3' cable (they're about $5.00) and see if that fixes your problem. If so, you then need a better cable, a shorter cable, or a booster.